h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I myself was a fan of
"A computer beat me at chess once, but it was no match for me at kickboxing" and,
"Give me ambiguity or give me something else" (there's a Homer J. Simpson ring to this)

I find it hard to believe no egghead worked out that nothing echoed around ponds, not just duckd. I assumed it was all very scientific and conducted in an echo chamber. Where are the poindexters when you need 'em.

I shall alert the Union as to the misleading content of the diary and ensure closer scrutiny of smartarse so-called "facts" they choose to bandy about in the future. Truth will out.

As far as I know, the research (which now you mention it did involve a echo chamber) was only carried out earlier this year, after the diary would have been printed, so it really wasn't their fault.

No, no - don't stick up for them, many of them are homosexual. They should have got one of the hundreds of ducks from the uni grounds and shoved it in an echo chamber and checked for themselves. By the way they are the most annoying type of queers too, the ones who go on about how we need more gay representation on the union, etc. What really pisses me off is when they say "There are only 2 types of men - those that are gay, and those that don't know it yet". I think I'd have figured it out by now thanks Nancy. Don't try to use the rest of us "normals" to justify the fact that you intrude upon other mens bums. And the union throws money at them to appear politcally correct, whilst I get jack shit because I happen to fancy females. I'm outta here.

Well, I hardly like to mention it, but I'm homosexual myself. I don't think the sterotypes you've alluded to are a true representation of we're actually like. I also dissapprove of your use of "normal" - as if such a thing even exists!

Out of interest - is your union equipped with an echo chamber then?

Was wondering why I hadn't heard from you, then realised the big long message where I did quite a bit of backpeddling didn't post for some reason. I'm not writing it out again now, so let's just say I hope I didn't offend you because I really enjoy your correspondence. I'll elaborate another time when it's not 5.30 am.

I'm not offended per se, but it I do object to being tarred with the same brush as the people you've previously described.

I'll hear from you next time it isn't 05:30!

Of course it was wrong of me to put you in the same bracket as those people. The longer message I somehow lost explained that I have met some wonderful people who just happen to be homosexual, but like you they don't feel the need to mention it. I went on to say that it is this noisy minority that are most visible because the squeaky wheel gets the oil, and that like the noisy, militant minority in the feminist movement I don't think they further the cause as much as they think they do - in fact often they can be harmful to it. I honestly believe that all people get my respect until they prove they don't warrant it, so I didn't mean to sound disapproving because I accept people regardless of race, creed, colour, political persuasion, or sexual orientation until I discover that they are a turd. And as turds fall into all of the above columns that could be anyone. I'm pleased to say I have discovered no turd-like qualities in you, so allow me to put this stamp of approval smack in the middle of your forehead, and please grit your teeth while I brand your membership number on your shoulder. Welcome aboard.

Well, I'm not sure about being branded, but if you back pedal any faster the chain on your bike will snap. Consider yourself forgiven. I do deduce that you're not the sort of person who would put up with a turd just because they're in a minority group, a reasonable concept that many people fail to see the sense in...

Found that book yet?

Revision intensifying... Oh the joys of procrastinating...

You're right about that. People are the same to me - minority group or not - so even if you were a minority of one, if your a turd you wouldn't be endured.
Thanks for reminding me about that book, my parents are in town for a few days so I shall interrogate the old man mercilessly until I get an acceptable answer. Please pass me my branding iron. Oh, and i'll be needing those electrodes too..........
You have revision and I have a 5,000 word lit review to write by Friday and a lab talk to lie my way through on Wednesday. I figure it will go a little something like this "I've done very bloody little lately - any questions?". They have allocated an hour for me, boy are they gonna be surprised when I virtually give them a full refund. I just hope they appreciate getting out early.

Shame there isn't one of those "Bluff your way in..." books concerning the laboratory. Though thinking about it "Bluff your way in Experimental Microbiology" is probably more of a niche product. (If that makes sense...)

I don't think there's much need for interogation... Is there? Well, I'll leave it up to you, I've never met your father.

Right, should be getting ready to return to the prison of books that will be my second home until thursday wek.

I'm in the process of writing a "Bluff your way in...." book now. It shall be called my lit review. I'm screwed. And don't mention the lab talk - bluff will be the central theme of that also. Repeat, screwed.

No need to grill the old man to severely, he's honest enough to just say "Yes I've got it and MAYBE I'll let you borrow it again some day. Maybe.". He was just here and I forgot to ask, but I'll see them again next weekend on their way through. I just want to know that I'm not insane and it hasn't disappeared into some vortex residing in my loungeroom, although that would explain the missing socks and biros nicely.

Yes, the socks are an interesting conundrum... Biros obviously dissappear sometime before the ink runs out, but there doesn't seem to be a predetermined time for sock ownership before they dissappear in the wash.

I don't think you need grill him. Poach perhaps, bake maybe, but definitely not grilling. And spitroasting is out of the question.

Right, I'm ioff once again to bluff my way in thermal physics et al. At least for the next two weeks. After that I'll actually try learning it...

Best of luck with that. It's just gone 1.30am and I'm pulling the plug on the lit review till about 6 or 6.30 am when I'll try again. Why do I do this to myself everytime (the correct answer of course is because I'm an idiot who refuses to learn a lesson).

I don't know why, but none of the persons I know seem to learn that lesson either - we all do it, one of those peculiar human things I guess.

Just gone midnight and I've come home to sleep... So I might sleep later, who knows?

Well I see it's 1.15am and you're still on here - get to bed!

It's now 4:10 - I'll be going to bed soon, honest!

What are you doing on here at this hour of the morning. I hope you've been to bed. It's 4.50pm here and I need to go and jump into bed for an hour or so. What are we doing to ourselves?

In bed a 5 in the morning? I shouldn't like to say...

Speaking for myself, I've had insomnia for years.

The of the three exams I've had so far, two went really well, and one went really badly, so overall it's still good.

That's good news on your exams. Good work.
No, 5 in the afternoon, get the picture now. It's 10.35am and I've just pulled another all-niter, so why does this thing still look like garbage? I hope to sleep Sunday night. Well that's the plan at this stage.

Hello again. Sorry for going incommunicado for a while, busy busy busy... I've had a bit of a pig of a time this last week. Still I get the results today, so the moment of truth is nearly upon me!