h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You've been very scarce of late...
I'm worried...was it something I said...

You're doing it again...!




(I'm sure that RL is the reason...it would just be very nice to hear from you again on Hootoo! )

Awww...shucks! 'Tis so nice to be missed.

How are you and yours WR? Did you enjoy your trip to the US and more importantly, did Lady J enjoy having the bed all to herself?

I could write a book about all the excrement saturating my life at the moment but it would only be one long rant and fit for composting. The bright spots in my life are the two most expensive ones, Mair & Chris!

Our garage was broken into last month. The s pulled apart a side wall, opened the side door from the inside and stole John's 1979 Honda XL500S, which in the UK is a classic bike. As it still had its NZ registration because John was restoring it, the bike wasn't insured and isn't covered by our household contents insurance policy. John almost had the 500 ready for registration, MOT and sale and was going to use the money to finance work on the 750-4 and ZX10.

I'll bet the beggars knew it was nearly ready too!
My comiserations to John.

Lady J enjoyed having the bed to herself, Julie the staffie-cross, Sophie the street-special and Pickles the cat - who has recently taken to sleeping under the duvet all curled up in Lady J's arms !

She was very sad about the car as she had not locked it up in the garage, but left it outside on the street - she was going out again in a half-hour. Now all the cars get garaged immediately, all the doors locked and immobilisers activated. I believe the car-thieves only need a large sharpened allen key to bash into the lock and shear the pins as they turn it. So much for vehicle security..!

Vehicle security? More like another version of 'built-in-obsolescence!

Thieves are quick off the mark, aren't they? You only have to leave something unattended for a short time, and it's gone. John was working, hidden underneath the car in our garage with the doors open a couple of months ago, when a builder's van pulled up just down the road. John heard someone running up to the garage and peered out from under the car just as the chap reached the doorway and skidded to a halt when he saw John. The man then mumbled something and shuffled back to his van - there wasn't a lot John could do or say but it goes to show that you never know who is watching, especially as our property backs onto a disused graveyard.

A couple of weekends back all the local ATM Link network was down in our town, which at the time I assumed was due to a technical gremlin. However it was apparently a deliberate act by the banks as PIN thieves had installed miniature cameras over some of the ATM machines and were recording people's PIN numbers!

My bank has just sent me my new debit card and it's one of those chip and PIN thingees. It's quite fun but I don't like the idea that anyone can see over my shoulder when I enter my PIN.

These even install a card reader in front of the ATM card reader to record your card details even before the bank reads them. Add that to the movie of your fingers entering your PIN and youve got a goldmine of someone else's money...
I think the culprits should be suspended by their privates above a roaring fire...

That reminds me of the story of the 'feeling neglected' wife who went out to their garage one evening to lure her hubby back from underneath the car. She reached down and grabbed his marital equipment, saying "Ding-a-ling!" The husband's legs jerked and then lay there still. She thought he was ignoring her, so she changed into second gear - she undid the zipper of the overalls and stuck her hand in...

A voice from outside the garage said: "And just wot are you up to then?" It was her husband, returning from the shop with some refreshments while his mate (dressed in his overalls) finished up under the car. The mate was immobile - he had knocked himself out on the sump!

I wonder what story they would have given if they had to take the wife's 'victim' to an A&E unit or call out a ?

There is a very popular and funny telly series called 'Grumpy Old Men' on television here in the UK? Have you heard of it, or do you have a similar version in SA? I think we'd both be excellent candidates for starring in the series...

I work with a funny series of grumpy old men...they took our TV away from the tea room after the World Cup...!

The rotters! I wonder why they did that? Which World Cup would that have been - rugger, cricket or soccer? There's a new soccer contest here in the UK called 'Six Nations' and when it was announced I confused it with the already existing rugby version.