h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I reread what I typed last night after you told me you put me up as one of the regulars, and boy am I an idiot.

I was just trying to be goofy but failed miserabley and now you probably think I'm a homosexual. I can assure you I'm not, but I'm sorry to have freaked you out like that. And I must have freaked you out because I noticed the replies get a bit impersonal, but I can't blame you; I would have been freaked out too.

Anyway, I'm kinda kicking myself for creating incorrect images in relative strangers' minds about who I am.

Kicking himself as he types,
Yossarian

Don't worry about it. I actually didn't get any homosexual connotation from what you said, I took it exactly the way you had intended it, as a bit goofy.

If I seemed freaked out, it might have been just that there is sooooo much going on in the café that it's hard for everyone to reply personally to everything everyone else says . Also, I didn't get the chance to post over the last two days because I got somewhat busy.

We're not a homophobic bunch over at the café, in fact one of the old regulars (I don't see him around much) was homosexaul and certainly not ashamed about it. He wasn't flirting with all the men or anything, it just came up in a few conversations.

So don't kick yourself. And until you see evidence to the contrary just assume everyone knew exactly what you meant

~Irv
(Who entirely failed to get on with the girl he brought to the concert he saw yesterday)

~Phew~
*a sigh of relief*

Hoopy .

I took this amazing girl out into the heart of Harvard Square recently. She was one of those perfect types; hilarious, beautiful, intelligent (I'm sure you've encountered one them before). And I can't say I've ever such a great time with anyone else as I had with her that day. So we go back to her place, and we're swimming in her pool, generally enjoying one anothers' company, when all of a sudden, her mum comes out of the house telling her that "Mike," was on the phone.
She gets out of the pool, takes the call, and returns. I ask who Mike was (trying to use a tone of voice that wouldn't have emitted any hints of jealousy), and was told, by this girl, hot, smart, and in a bikini, that "Mike," the person with whom she was just talking to on the phone, was in fact, her Boyfriend. So of course she takes me up into her room and just HAS to show me pictures of this built, six ft. 4" Football player, and I try to reason out whether hitting on this guy's girlfriend is worth the black eye I will recieve if he ever finds out. But of course, Yossarian's gung-ho hilarity has led him to ignore all threats of being heartlessly massacred by the football player/boyfriend, and he and the wonderful girl are living happily ever after as they continue to go on dates into Boston, and explore "Causes and Effects" in the pool .

The End

Erg. I'm not exactly a ladies man... I'm the kind of man who girls call when they want to cry on someone's shoulder. I'm hoping that maybe, some day, girls my age will reach a level of maturity where they realize that they should not be dating the guys who make them cry, but rather the ones that listen to them when they do.

~Irving "Nice Guys Finish Last" Washington

I know what you mean. That girl that I was talking about was possibly the first one that has ever liked me back, because I too am one of those guys that girls brand, "Friend to come and listen to my problems when I've got them."

For the longest time I was vexed as to why girls tend to go for the heartless and abusive b*****d, and I guess I still do not know why they do that to themselves, though, I do know that I can't help but be there for them regardless of how many times they get into a relationship with some ignorant pig...

And I can only hope that you're wrong about nice guys finishing last, but seeing as how I am a nice guy, and have always finished last, I guess I do have my doubts...

Yossarian

As far as I can figure it, it goes like this: many women like men to be masculine and agressive, especially in romance situations. Unfortunately most romantically agressive men are also agressive in other parts of life.

It may also be that handsome men are used to getting what they want from women, and that women are attracted by their physical appearance and the confidence that comes with it, not seeing the darker side until it is too late.

Nice guys may finish last, but at least they finish the race. Unfortunately, as I am currently into abstinence I fear that once a girl has realized that she doesn't want to be with an @$$hole she'll already have lost her virginity. I suppose it's not a terrible fate, but it's certainly not my ideal.