Journal Entries
mmm
Posted Jan 7, 2004
My toothe hurts - I have a headache, and ought to stay an extra hour at work to make up for my addiction to lateness. All in all I feel a little grumpy -
And it's quite pleasent.
I often feel devoid of most regular feelings. Perhaps I've trained my brain to not bother with any feelings and thoughts I dislike, but really I think it's cause most of the time I kinda get how we're all part of a huge machine, which is driven by both the woes + the highs we all experience, so normally I don't complain.
But I really feel like a moan today - and :p to anyone who says I should cheer up. I know I should, but it's quite nice to feel really human for a day instead of blank indifference or grinning peacefullness....
Damnit - 
I just cheered myself up.......
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Latest reply: Jan 7, 2004
Slow Passing
Posted Dec 30, 2003
So swift this rippling single line,
that reminds in memories breath,
that sinew strands, contract
appendages and brittle bone withers,
beneath sharp starlight shimmers,
washing the living in torrent.
Rainwater tracks etch the surface,
of the planet circus.
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: Dec 30, 2003
End of a year
Posted Dec 30, 2003
So swift this rippling single line,
that reminds in memories breath,
that sinew strand, contract
appendages and brittle bone withered,
beneath sharp starlight shimmering,
washing the living in torrent.
Rainwater tracks etch the surface,
of the planet circus.
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: Dec 30, 2003
thoughts on existing in two worlds
Posted Dec 23, 2003
*David Blaine*
I saw an interview with the infamous scamp young Mr Blaine last night. I've had a problem with ol' Davey boy, based on nothing I can quantify, I've just always felt a little uncomfortable with his justifications, and my own assumptions as to the reasons he performs his 'magic'.
Last night, recovering in his bed from his last 'stunt' he revealed how such a difficult feat of endurance affected him mentally...and how he felt.
"...It's like there's one person who lives in this fantasy world. Who can peer down at people, smiling through the pain, and the world seems beautiful.
And this other me, who lives in the real world, and takes everything for granted. The trick is finding the balance."
For a few months I've felt schizophrenic. Like I understand the beauty of the universe, feel it, exist in it, and my days are happy regardless of the 'value' of things occuring around me, I feel 'blessed' to be alive....And other days where I am completely subject to feelings of complete jealousy, anger, sadness.....but in such a way that I am consumed and unable to see through to this wonderful place, and am left wondering how I can understand so completely, my own place in the universe....whilst a day later, I can feel trapped inside my own head.
But hearing mr Blaine speaking, I realised I felt the same way. Capable of existing with the universe, but also of being subject to very 'socialised', very natural but irrational thoughts.
I'm not sure yet, how to find the balance, but hearing the magic man speak stopped me feeling so crazy.
We can overcome anything, and find magic in the dustbins if we look closely with an open heart and mind.
Peace mr Blaine.
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: Dec 23, 2003
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