Journal Entries
Questions
Posted Apr 5, 2004
Why is it illegal to park in a handicapped parking space but its ok to use a handicapped toilet?
In that song, she'll be coming around the mountain, who is she?
How come we say 'It's colder than hell outside' when isn't it realistically always colder than hell since hell is supposed to be fire and brimstone?
Why is it that if something says, "do not eat" on the packaging it becomes extra tempting to eat?
Why are people so scared of mice, yet we all love Mickey Mouse?
Wouldn't it be smart to make the sticky stuff on envelopes taste like chocolate?
Why are the commercials for cable companies on cable but not on regular television? Don't they want the people without cable to buy the cable?
"Have you ever noticed that if you rearranged the letters in mother in law, they come out to Woman Hitler?"
Isn't it funny how the word 'politics' is made up of the words 'poli' meaning 'many' in Latin, and 'tics' as in 'bloodsucking creatures’?
Why is it that when things get wet they get darker, even though water is clear??
Why is it that when you get out of a swimming pool, your urine is hotter when you use the restroom?
Can mute people burp?
What happens if you put this side up face down while popping microwave popcorn?
Why is chopsticks one of the easiest songs to play on the piano, but the hardest thing to eat with?
How come you play at a recital, but recite at a play?
If a fork were made of gold would it still be considered silverware?
If heat rises, then shouldn't hell be cold?
Why is there that little space inside strawberries, as if it was meant for a pit, and then the seeds are on the outside?
Why isn't chocolate considered a vegetable, if chocolate comes from cocoa
beans, and all beans are a vegetable?
Do they have girl’s bathrooms in gay bars?
Why is toilet bowl cleaning liquid only blue?
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying, but when God talks to us we are put into the loony bin?
Why do you go “back and forth” to town if you really must go forth before you go back?
Why doos shaped macaroni taste better than the normal kind?
Why is vanilla ice cream white when vanilla extract is brown?
Why can't you get a tan on your palms?
If your sick for one week and on one of those days they had to cancel school because of snow, do you have to make up that day in June?
Why do dogs sniff other dog’s bottoms to say hello, why don’t they just bark in their face or something?
Why do companies offer you "free gifts?" Since when has a gift NOT been
free?
If something "goes without saying," why do people still say it?
You know the expression, "Don't quit your day job?" Well what do you say to
people that work nights?
Why do you get in trouble for blocking an exit when you're standing in the doorway? In case of an emergency, wouldn't you run out, too, therefore NOT blocking the exit?
Why is it when some products you have to turn it upside down to read the directions, and the directions say do not turn upside down?
Why is a square meal served on round plates?
Why is the 0 on a phone after 1 and not before 1?
Which way does a compass point in space?
Why are people allowed to put naked statues outside but why can't we run outside naked?
Why do all superheroes wear spandex?
If mars had earthquakes would they be called marsquakes?
Why did Mary own a little lamb?
If a missing person sees their picture on a milk carton that offers a reward, would they get the money?
Discuss this Journal entry [15]
Latest reply: Apr 5, 2004
Poems
Posted Mar 10, 2004
Does anyone have any depressing peoms that i could have for my book i am writing? I need 37!
Discuss this Journal entry [16]
Latest reply: Mar 10, 2004
My baby cousin
Posted Mar 1, 2004
He looked just like ET, when he had just been born,
Laying there in his hospital cot,
Not being able to smile or speak,
he just stared at me.
Now he's coming up three,
He's still as sweet as chocolate,
Hiding my stuff and being really loud,
he smiles at me with his cheeky grin,
He comes to me when he's hurt,
Or if he's broken something,
He knows i'l look out for him,
Because he my Baby cousin.
Discuss this Journal entry [9]
Latest reply: Mar 1, 2004
As I hang in the barn
Posted Dec 12, 2003
As I hang iin the barn,
Watching my life drift away,
Nothing comes to me.
No white light, No life flashing past me.
Nothing.
Just me hanging in the barn.
I can hear the animals in the farm.
I can hear the cars on the road.
I can hear the rain hitting the roof.
Yet nothing comes to me.
No prince in shinning armour, No guarding angel.
Nothing.
Just me, hanging in the barn.
I guess this gives me time to think.
Time to think how i got here.
I was nailing this rope up for father.
I slipped on the ladder.
caught the rope.
And here i am
Hanging in the barn.
Discuss this Journal entry [26]
Latest reply: Dec 12, 2003
Death
Posted Dec 4, 2003
She gets hit,
She gets stabbed,
She gets pushed,
She gets shot.
What ever happens she cannot tell.
She is afraid,
She is scared,
She is petrified,
She is a ghost.
What ever happens she cannot tell.
She was hit,
She was stabbed,
She was pushed,
She was shot.
What ever happened she couldn't tell.
She was afraid,
She was scared,
She was petrified,
She was alive.
What ever happened she couldn't tell.
Death,
Everyday,
All day,
Then she went up to
heaven.
Discuss this Journal entry [6]
Latest reply: Dec 4, 2003
In case of fire!
Researcher U528798
Write an Entry
"The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is a wholly remarkable book. It has been compiled and recompiled many times and under many different editorships. It contains contributions from countless numbers of travellers and researchers."