h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I like card games, but can never remember where my cards are when I want them...

I thought it was going to be something like you got a cool holographic deck or something with pretty pictures or whatever for a birthday or something, and decided to collect them from then on. I don't think the term 'sad and pathetic' applies to you, babe.

no? not sad and pathetic? thank you


no, no such delightful story...... if there is one... well its not a very good one. i think that it all started with a deck of cards that i won at a fund raiser that my brothers school was having. it was a blue deck of coke cards..... see? not very exciting..... but its handy to have a collection that way i always have some when i need them....

I have the best cards but not to be used in the precense of ladies.

hmmmmm.......

*looks innocent*

*looks suspiciously at job*

*remains looking innocent. Pulls out a Porno magazine and starts flipping through it. Suddenly he drops it and tehre appears to be a bible inside.*

I was erm.... reading about the erm.... bible.

oh the bible is it...?
*grabs the magazine from job and looks at it*
must be a new form of christianity that i wasnt aware of....

*takes the magazine and throws it out.*
i have nothing but pity for poor people that feel they have to look at porn to.... nevermind....... i'll just stop there.

I was actually reading the bible. It was tucked up inside my magazine.

Can I just point out the fact that you were looking at porn 30 seconds ago when you took the magazine off me and I quote...:

"*grabs the magazine from job and looks at it*"

I thank you!

really? you were actually reading the bible were you?

and i know i was just looking at it............ but it all has to do with why you're looking doesn it?

I wasn't I was reading the bible. It was just to hide the bible I was reading.

"I think it's time we re-evaluated your philosophy of ...[porn]... as it relates to artistic endeavour."

As long as there are no mugwumps in that bible then I'm happy.

Mugwumps?

define porn and erotic art
sometimes its really easy, top shelf mags are porn and Caravaggio is erotic art, but theres a big gray area between the 2

I'm too drunk too justify that but I think I know what you mean.

Yep it's a fine line. I guess it's mostly about the intent of its creation, same as any other art. If you /intend/ the pile of tyres to be stacked artfully, then you can claim it's art. Otherwise nobody will believe you anyway, and just call it junk.

I'd prefer erotic art to porn. Usually.

I guess you haven't seen the movie 'Naked Lunch,' Job. It's about the making of the book by the same name, written by William Lee Burroughs.
It's ed up.
In the movie, Bill Lee the author goes from one drug to another; he starts off getting addicted to bug powder dust (Do a google search for "Bug powder dust bomb the bass lyrics",) and then to get off that his docter prescribes him some powdered giant aquatic brazillian centipede or somethin'. And then he gets addicted to that, so he figures out his doctor is actually a spy from a place called interzone, so he and his typewriter which is sortof a giant talking cockroach thingee concoct a plan to... yeah anyway you get the idea. The quote above came from the movie. The last drug he gets addicted to is Mugwump jism, which is why it came up in the conversation.

erm.

Ah I actually understand that.

The trouble is if I were going to rent/ buy that film, they wouldn't let me bein too young.

But since a Mugwump is an alien-looking character, and they were sucking on tubes coming out of their heads, it might not be R18 or whatever the equivalent is over there.
Apart from that, the most 'adult' content is probably when he accidentally shoots his wife in the head. Twice.

If all else fails you can borrow the book and tell me whether it's worth reading. It's different from the movie, but aparrantly there are a few things that are the same.

I'll try the book perhaps.

*listens quietly to what everyones saying. and thinks she shold have defined porn a little clearer. but considering job said it wasnt to be shown in the presence of ladies...*