Journal Entries
TRICK-OR-TREAT SHOWDOWN
Posted Oct 31, 2004
The autumn twilight being particularly beautiful today, I took my daily stroll along the roads where I could best listen to the sleepy twitters of the birds and smell the leaves crunching under my feet. This route took me past the children's playground, and the moment I reached it, I knew it was a mistake. I have already accumulated almost as many nicknames among the local childlife as I had in the last place we lived in. About twenty small pale faces turned to watch me through the gloom.
"It's the Undertaker!" one of them shouted.
"Witch!" yelled another, from the top of the slide. "Hey, witch!"
"Spook!"
I smiled insincerely at them and muttered to myself, "at least get it right, you little horrors." Then a very small kid beside the fence called out, "goth!"
After dinner, there was a loud rapping on our front door, and I opened it to find a herd of little ghouls staring up at me with blackened eye sockets and pointed hats on their heads. Talk about hypocrisy. "TRICKORTREEEAT!" they chorused.
"I'll have the trick, please," I said.
There was an awkward pause. They all glanced around to see if any of the others happened to know any tricks. I waited, patiently.
"We... haven't got any tricks," the one at the front finally admitted. They remained standing there, in a mournful huddle, looking up at me with their wide, sad eyes, until finally I couldn't take it any more.
"Here you go," I said, handing over all the money I had in my pocket. They grinned, thanked me, and ran off. Damn! I told myself I wouldn't be such a pushover with the next lot.
Thirty seconds later, the door went again. I opened it to a couple of slightly larger ghouls. "TRICKORTREEAT!" they shouted.
"I'll have the trick, please," I said to them.
"Okay," said one, and pulled his face into a hideous contortion. I fell about laughing. How could I not reward such ingenuity? I went and hunted around in the kitchen, and found some apples, which I offered them. They were delighted to receive an apple each; they acted as though I'd given them gold doubloons. Had I realised earlier the value of apples to trick-or-treaters, I might not be out of pocket now.
Not that our store of apples lasted longer than four minutes, as three more groups of tiny extortionists cleaned us out. Now we're almost out of crisps, too. Chicken *and* salt & vinegar.
And there goes the door again.
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Latest reply: Oct 31, 2004
FOTKI
Posted Oct 31, 2004
I seem to have got the hang of it now. More pictures to follow.
http://public.fotki.com/Snailrind/photos/
But, it says my photos are for sale. They're not for sale.
Discuss this Journal entry [23]
Latest reply: Oct 31, 2004
STOCHASTIC METHODS FOR PROGRAMMING MULTI-CORE PROCESSORS IN FORTRAN
Posted Oct 20, 2004
Prediction:
The only person to click on the title of this thread will be SEF, who will be disappointed by the content.
The only person to lurk it will be MrFlay, who will learn nothing new.
Everyone else who sees the title of this thread will avoid clicking on it, and thus will not learn my secret.
I am female.
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Latest reply: Oct 20, 2004
CAR CRASH
Posted Oct 19, 2004
A 16-year-old neighbour of ours just died.
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Latest reply: Oct 19, 2004
LUMBERJACKS PREFER C++
Posted Oct 18, 2004
Last night in bed, my beloved
(Thin as a cable, pale as ghosting, a paragon
Of geekhood) turned over and said,
Say you're a lumberjack.
Say you're a lumberjack,
And you want to chop down a tree.
Well, programming in Java (s/he continued,
Pushing back the covers to make space
For gesticulations in the dark) is like
Having a device to fit around the trunk,
And you adjust the settings
And it fells the tree. Just what you want,
If you're a lumberjack.
Unless, of course, the tree's at an angle, or it's got
A funny knot in it; *then* you have to find
Someone who's come across that glitch before,
Someone who can tell you what to do.
Now, C++
Is more like having a chainsaw:
It's far easier to cut off your own foot--
(F'ck me, I laughed, I never knew
Working with C++ was that dangerous!)
It's far easier to cut off your own foot,
But you can also make sculptures
In ice.
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Latest reply: Oct 18, 2004
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