h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello dear. I'm so very sorry about David. You certainly have more than your share of heartache at the moment. I hope that your friends here on hootoo are able to provide you a small escape from it all.

I found that my friends here were a tremendous support when Frank was so ill and then after his death. I am still appreciative of all the kindness I received.

There is something I want to share with you, and I hope you don't think it presumptious of me to do so. Like David, Frank was a fighter. His doctors and nurses were astonished that he survived as long as he did, considering how serious his situation was. He fought it, and I fought it, refusing to give up on him.

I finally realized that the main reason he was holding on to life so desperately was because he knew that I wasn't ready to lose him. He was exhausted and in pain, his quality of life was very poor, and he had such a strong faith that he had no fear of dying. I knew that I had to give him permission to go, that it was selfish of me to hold him any longer.

You see, I have never had a lot of self-confidence. He always believed in me much more than I believed in myself. I honestly didn't know how I would manage without him. He was my Rock of Gibralter. Frank, on the other hand, was sure I'd be okay. He even went so far as to tell me that he needed to move on so I could get on with my life.

He was such a dear man. It was almost like he considered his death as presenting me with a last gift - the gift of finally thinking of myself as an individual rather than as his wife. Certainly I miss him and will until my dying day, but I am also content being alone and am looking forward to the future. And that is my gift to him, testing wings I didn't know I had and learning how to fly. I know he would be disappointed if I did anything else.

I honestly don't believe that Frank's death was unwelcome to him. I believe it came as a release. I also believe he is still around me, encouraging me. I can often sense his presence, as I'm sure you can sense Dick's presence.

You are in my thoughts and prayers, as is David and K and the rest of your family.