h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Right, let me tell you a little story.

At some point yesterday evening, someone drove into our front wall and knocked half of it down, so being a council house, my mother phoned the council and asked them to come and rebuild the wall! They claim that we must report it to the police and get a crime number before they will even consider coming to do it.

So, today mum, who incidently works in a court, gets in contact with the police, after going through the usual palaver of being passed back and forth to various departments, she is told that she must visit her local station in order to report it.

Here's the part where my little face lights up, as I know for a fact that she will NOT do this!!

So, she comes home and we have what passes for a civilised discussion. I ask her if she's picked up a copy of American Pie 3 for me, (paid for with my own money I should add) to which she replies, 'You can't have that, you dont need it!'. I tut and complain that she's mean and its not exactly out of her way or her own money she's spending etc, etc... and then.. then she relates this little tale about the wall/council/police and I say, well, even if you do get it reported, it'll still take the council over a year to finally get round to doing it! I could do it on saturday!!
Are you all seeing where this is leading?
She is highly enthused by this idea as it means she has all work to do! Then, the twist!!!

I say, how can I possibly do something so strenuous and painful (I have a bad back) without my dose of Alyson Hannigan!!!!?
There is no possible way I can build a wall without seeing AP3 first!

So the ball is left in her court now, wait over a year for the council to fix it, or pick me up a copy of the dvd and have a wall by saturday evening!?

I love me sometimes!!
Call me evil, call me nasty, call me what you want but Im only doing what is permanently done to me by them!!

I'm sorry hun, but that's bribery, but good bribery, I can't think of any better way to get your dose of Aly and anyway, parents have been doing it to us kids for years, 'clean the car and you can have some sweets', so good on ya, it's about time they got a taste of their own medicine!!

Pity it don't work on girlfriends!!

Xander

Its not really!

I mean, bribery involves it costing her somethin and/or going out of her way, neither of which are involved as she walks past a HMV to get to the bus stop and its my money so....
She also has an alternative so its not bribery when there's another way out!! She doesn't have to accept my terms, but hopefully shes too dim to realise that!! lmao.....

Anyway, she wants a wall and I want Aly... As I cant actually HAVE Aly, I'll have to settle with AP3 then she can have her wall!
I think thats perfectly fair!

If my options where:

- go down to the police station, make a report, then sit on my hands and wait a year for the council to fix my wall...

or

- buy a dvd and have the wall fixed in less than a week...

...I don't think I'd need a lot of thinking time...where I come from that's not bribery...it's reciprocity (you do for me and I'll do for you)

Ah well, she's screwed herself up now. She's made such a huge issue of picking up a dvd... just a dvd mind, Ive not asked her to carry an elephant home... that my gorgeous girlfriend is getting it for me and mum can wait for the council!!! lmao...
That'll learn her!!

Well if she asks you to do it now you should try to get her to carry an elephant home !

She asks me to do it now and she can clean her own house for a week... like to see her complain so much then!!

In fact, thats not a bad idea, she can clean her own house and I can run around and mess it up as fast as she cleans.... she how she likes it!!

Oh god, Im a right whingy "housewife"! When did I get old??

See, I was thinking more "rebellious teenager" !

Teenager?? I wish I was that young again!!

Nope, Im the grown up doing all the household chores and they are the kids, going out till all hours of the night and leaving the house like a pig sty for me to clean.

Im Cinderella!

I remember being a teenager...it was overrated, in my opinion ...

...look on the bright side - Cinderella got a happy ending !

I guess it was overrated!

Just better sit and be patient until my knight(ess) in shining armour appears on her trusty steed to sweep me up and carry me into the sunset.... She better be strong then!

*consults the cards*

Well, all signs point to the fair damsel being rescued...quite possibly by another fair damsel...on a horse...or maybe a bike...

I can't tell...I was never good at reading the cards...

It isn't bribery, it's a mutually beneficial arrangement. I think you were right to do it JW

Oh, Ive so come out on top of this little notion!!

Mum's got the hump coz my girlfriend is buying it for me as a pressie, so mum had to go to the police station and report it... she now has to wait for the council to fix the wall!!

So, I get my new fix of the delightful and delicious Alyson Hannigan, without having to pay for the dvd OR build a wall!!

Woohoo!!!

Everything just magically fell into place there !

That it did Tanzen!