h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Because the original character is supposedly male. PTerry himself refers to death of rats as a him.

S'pose
one of my friends bought a rat and named her "grim squeaka" totally due to Pratchett
rat died though
after having 2 families

really have to go now. grinding getting worse. defragging ness
possilby even re-installing windows98 (but I'm putting that off as long as poss)

cheerio

an'tia'm Aendr

*scribbles on a piece of paper 'I am indeed of the male variety - not that there is much evidence any more!'*

*pokes Menza@@e with the tiny scythe and hands him the paper*

I must be psychic.

Err, which end of the scythe was that?

*waves the blunt end enthusiasticaly nearly slicing off bony tail with the sharp end*

Thats a relief, so hows my timer holding up?

*shrugs and scribbles 'its on the shelf of the room after the study in Death's Domain.*

I thought you new all the times by heart.

*scribbles 'You are not a rat - though I can tell you about Will Carling's'*

*grin*

But I keep getting attacked by the cat, does that count?

*scribbles "It is like I told Quoth - I don't do hamsters, mice and particularly not gerbils'*

Thats alright, I've never had any of those.

*scribbles 'Plus I find I am kept very busy with the rat population - it is hard work you know.'*

I don't doubt it, I can't understand how you have the time to talk to me.

There is a surprisingly large amount of gender determinability from skeletal remains - the length of leg bones, size of the brain pan, teeth, pelvic formation, feet (paws), ribcage and dna, if extractable.

Of course, I don;t think anyone would like to examine this particular skeleton toooooo closely!

Hey Grim, would you concider me to be a Rat?

*points a bony finger at Sidney Kidney*

SQUEAK

*a cold wind moans, a mournful bell tolls repeatedly and a couple of tumbleweeds blow through*

*points a skin covered finger back at Grim*

Ahh, tumbleweed, my favourite, I didn't know you cared!!

*shrugs and takes tiny scythe between teeth*

SQUEAFF

*scampers off, robe blowing in the wind*

Have I defeated the ""Grim Squeaker"" ?

or are you just getting reinforcements !!