h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

SQUEAK

*waves scythe gently*

hmm, gently eh?
sounds like a cry for help!
I'll bring in some oil tommorrow, soon sort you out

don't forget the cobwebs in order to sharpen it & you'll have to get up early to catch the dawn.

SQUEAKSQUEAK

*shows the Mad Hatter a tiny hourglass on a silver chain*

That can't be a good sign.

*scribbles on a tiny pad with a tiny pencil linked by a fine silver chain 'Just a social call!'*

SQUEAK

*hands Menza@@e the paper*

Errr....

Would you like some homemade chocolate cake, Mr Grim Squeaker, sir? (obsequiously) or maybe some homemade biscuits, Lemon and Chocolate Pinwheels?

phew!
wipes brow.

cake anyway? or biccies? anyone? plenty going spare here!

Curry?

*reads paper*

Thats pleasently reasuring.

*declines the delicious food with a sad shake of head, causing neck to click, click, click. Points to tummy*

Ah. I see, lack of appropriate biology. Where is that damn crow for the translations.

*shrugs*

SQUEAK

takes metal bin
"I presume you do not mind a bit of alcohol"
adds to bin cake, alcohol (whisky) and a match (lit)
when that finishes burning,
add to bin biscuits, ginger wine and another match (lit)

"Does that help?"

*scribbles 'Thank you'. Prods tin with tiny scythe*

You'll blunt it if you keep doing that, here I've got a flash light.

tin?

I think he mant the bin.

I guess the bin is tin.

I'll lay it on its side for easy access.

Are we sure it is "he" though?

No, but with that name I think I could be forgiven.

why?

I mean, I know more girls than guys who fall into the right category for the name to be chosen appropriately.