h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

How can that be, when you are only 5 minutes ago relative to me?

This forum stopped making sence days ago.

Or possibly longer, depending on your time zone...

As far as I can tell, the forum stopped making sense precisely when this happend:


>>Posted 3 days ago by Bluebottle
>>Subject: Smile! The Guide is under OUR CONTROL!
>>Help! Help! It's out of control! It's out of control! WE'VE GOT TO >>DO SOMETHING! We've only got 14 hours to save the Earth! IT'S OUT OF >>CONTROL! DON'T PANIC! THE FATE OF MILLIONS IS AT STAKE!!!

>>Well then, there you go.

Up till then it was no more confusing than any other forum on this site. Now... well, I feel lost in time, which is no laughing matter when I never knew what, who, how, where, or why I was to begin with. As far as I can tell, now, I don't really exist. Can you read this? Hello? Anyone?

No, its all just a figment of your over active imagination.

i think h2g2 time is non-linear. After all, you are now 15 hours wrt me.

Now, all we have to do is work out the curvature of space-time and we will be able to tell when the universe will end (or not).

*frantic button pressing on calculator*

I've got it!!

The curvature of space-time is 1.2 Deg far left of right, taking 0.01 to be the absolute zero. Of course I could be wrong?

how many partial differentials did you have in your equations?
Which cosmology did you use?
did you include omega?

The curvature of space-time has, by definition, and due to general relativity which is generally relatively incomprehensible, to be completely full of horrendous maths. Is your calculator akin to a Cray in its calculation power? If not, I don't beleive you've got the right answer in such a short space of time.

Give us a break!!, I've been working on it all night...

*consults notes*
Partial Differentials = 232.01
Cosmology = Richard Crainer Theory
Omega = Not used
Calculator = Texas Instruments
Mad Hatter = Cynic!
Author = Sidney Kidney

I'm useless at physics. Can't we just say that when ever the universe ends it won't really bother us as we will already be dead. And there is not much we could do about it if it was going to happen next week anyway.

So I'd be wasting my time killing myself anyway?

That depends if you carry a Dona card or not !!

What, you think they'll make kebabs out of me?
*groans and jeers from the audience*

EV that is terrible - that is appalling - that is chronically bad!

Did I spell that wrong, is that how it should be spelt?

They have made Kebabs out of a lot worse thing!!!

Never actualy do see a Greek eat a Kebab, funny that???!!!

Blindingly obvious if you ask me

Thank you very much! *raises hat*

Much conversation has been said about the humble Kebab, but there is no getting away from it, they still taste great after several pints in a pub and the short walk in the cold air on the way home.

And think of all the salad you get!!!

The key point is that they ONLY taste great after several pints in a pub and the short walk in the cold air on the way home.

So we all agree then.....Kebabs are cool!!!