h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Just thought I'd drop in and say hello. Are you new to the area? I haven't been here long myself. I like getting new neighbors. I thought I'd bring you some chocolate chip cookies I baked (looks nervously at ground). Erm, they ARE a bit stale, as I baked them last week. Before I knew you'd be dropping by.

You seem to know more about poetry than I, I will say that right off the bat. I've always been more of a prose reader myself. I'm quite fond of many women authors. Alice Walker, Toni Morrison, Alice Hoffman. I quite liked "The God of Small Things" by (and I will massacre this name) Arundhati Roy as well. And, of course, I'm a big Vonnegut fan. I recently read Timequake. I think I read all of his other novels, although I get the nagging feeling that I missed one somewhere in the middle. But I look at the list, and I look at the first few pages, and I look at the list again, and damned if I can figure out which it is.

Well, I must be going now. It's getting late here in the States. I imagine you are soundly sleeping now, as it's nearly midnight here.

I'll be sure to stop back in when you've finished decorating.

Just taking a little break from the decorating. Beginning to wonder if this yellow is quite right.

I used to have pretty well all of Vonnegut's books, but some were lost on seperation from my wife. That was over four years ago and when I visit now, I see some things that it would have been nice to have included in my part of the share-out. I know I could easily buy them again, but I rather liked the well-worn abused air they wear so comfortably. Anyway, thanks for bringing them all back to mind.

I too am new here. But enjoying it so far. AOL's Over 40s chat room seemed novel to begin with, but well worn off now.

I have been through a spell of not reading much. Been more into CDs. Liz Phair has been a welcome escape from much of the over- produced clever-dick stuff that has been around lately.

Must rush to get finished. I don't know if this paint brush is Y2K compliant.

Books are special to me, and I would no sooner get rid of any of them than get rid of my children. If I had any children, that is. Which I don't. I haven't been reading as much as I used to, either. But I haven't been listening to music as much as I used to, so I guess I've let a lot of things slide. At one point, I worked in a book/music store that went bankrupt and closed. It was far and away the best job I ever had. The people there were like family, and for a long time after I left, reading just made me miss it way too much. And once the habit died, it never quite kicked in as strongly again. But now I have it in my head that what I really want to do is write. It's just a matter of sitting down and doing it.

As for chat rooms, I've never been in one. Unless you count this as a chat room. I wandered on to H2G2 to make a somewhat sarcastic comment to something posted by a friend of my boyfriend's, and then I just started wandering around dropping in on conversations. I must say I've met some interesting people. It still feels a little strange to me, though, as I'm not really the computer type. So it's something of a guilty pleasure.

So now I know more about you than I did yesterday. By the way, in case you are wondering, I am 29, and despite my on-line name, I am female.

And with that I will wish you a pleasant evening. Almost time for the X-files.

I got to paragraph 2 and thought 'God, Billy is gay. What will Valencia think of that.' Then finally, you referred to being female.

I wish that writing was just a matter of sitting down and doing it. I am doing the same, but the more you read the more you realise that it is not possible to hold a candle to some of these people. Take Harold Pinter on Samuel Beckett:-

'The farther he goes the more good it does me. I don't want philosophies, tracts, dogmas, creeds, ways out, truths, answers, nothing from the bargain basement. He is the most courageous, remorseless writer going and the more he grinds my nose in the s**t the more I am grateful to him. He is not f*****g me about, he is not leading me up any garden path, he is not slipping me a wink, he's not flogging me a remedy or a path or a revelation or a basin full of breadcrumbs, he is not selling me anything I do not want to buy - he doesn't give a b*****k whether I buy or not - he has not got his hand over his heart. Well, I'll buy his goods, hook, line and sinker, because he leaves no stone unturned and no maggot lonely. He brings forth a body of beauty. His work is beautiful'

I love Godot, Endgame and Krapps Last Tape.

Enough for now. Errant daughter to sort out.

Haha. Jumping to conclusions, I see. Thinking I'm gay just because I chose a male on-line name. Easy mistake to make...

As for authors, I tend to prefer women, as a rule. Although some men write from a more "feminine" point of view. Pat Conroy comes to mind, and that nice young man who wrote "Snow Falling On Cedars."

As for "not holding a candle" to great authors; if you have something to say, you should write. It's not a matter of trying to equal someone. Because if you can reach just one person with something you write, and make them see the world from an angle they never thought of before, then you have done something special.

Good luck getting the daughter sorted.

Leisurely start to the day; Alice delivered to school and no appointment until 11:00. Just have to iron a white shirt and look for my business persona. Must be here somewhere ...

Strange thing, Billy (which did not occur to me until you mentioned your taste in reading) but, other than a couple of Simone deBeauvoir's, I do not have any books written by women.

It is a play I am writing. And coincidentally a friend called last week, to say he is looking for a one-act to put on. Nothing grand, just in a tiny theatre in the upstairs of a pub. But that will mean a deadline to get it finished. And the trouble is that it may never be finished ... write a bit, change it, delete and start again ... a never ending process of 'improvement'. Whereas probably the first unpolished version is the best. So it goes.

Wait, why are you taking my cat to school?!!????!!! Wait, no, now it makes sense. Hahaha. Coincidentally, my cat and your daughter share a name. So Alice the Cat says hello.

As for no women authors, that is (unfortunately) not unusual. Most women read men, but few men read women. If you like, I can make some suggestions of women's writings. that might suit different moods.

I would go into it more now, but I need to be back to work. (sigh)

As for the play and the "coincidence": the universe has a way of giving us what we are ready to accept. I say accept the one-act as fate. Looks like your time has come.

I'll do a deal. I'll go pick up your cat from school, if you will retrieve that mouse from my daughter's mouth.

(nods head knowingly) So, that WOULD explain why I have started to find bits of paper scattered about the house with "A-L-I-C-E" scrawled on them in big crooked letters. She's been gettin' some learnin'.

And it would also explain the sudden rise in the resident mouse population. I'm afraid your daughter's not much of a ratter, Tokes.

Awright you two!

Having a literary conversation over here without inviting me, eh?
No, no, dont get up. Never mind the royal title.I dont stand on ceremony among friends.

Although I must confess, I dont read much literature anymore. Unless you call Tom Clancy literature...

Mostly non-fiction. William Manchester is one of my favorites.

But I would point out that the Guide entry on Godot is mine, all mine. And although rejected by the PTB, I have left it in the Guide, cause, as I pointed out to Mark when he sent the rejection letter, I like it. Just the way it is. They liked it too, just couldn't make it an 'official' guide entry.

Judge for yourselves. http://www.h2g2.com/A102718

}:=8
the Dragon Queen of Damogran

Well, it's a good thing you don't stand on Ceremony, as Ceremony does not at all like being stood upon....

So, your invitation must have gotten lost by the postal service; I KNOW I sent it. Did you not get it, then? All done up to "Her Royal Majesty, the (not bloody at all) Queen." Quite festive. Can't count on anything these days.

Well, the kettle is on, and the List of Women Authors is about to be compiled. Starting with "The Drowning Season" by Alice Hoffman. (and I know titles are meant to be underlined, but the age of e-mail means quote marks need to stand in for everything.)

'Morning girls.. Sorry.. Hi Bill and Good Morning Your Majesty.

I'll be along later. Must get myself suitably attired for this auspicious occasion.

You better start making the cucumber sandwiches, Bill. Remember they must be small neat triangles, with the crust cut off.

If you start before I arrive, perhaps you could compile a brief list (no more than 3) of the books by female authors, I should read. I the event of disagreement, Royal rank must prevail.

Well, perhaps I put you off by the subject line. This is an informal visit, among friends.


No need to use formal form of address, or formal attire. While nice, I suppose that the one who actually bestowed the title, should not be asked to stand on ceremony when I visit. Besides, as someone pointed out, it is uncomfortable to stand on ceremony. [For you as well as for ceremony.]

But I DO like cucumber sandwiches, really. And there should be a time in ones life where they are not afraid to admit that sometimes it is nice to have someone cut the crusts off the bread...

And now my list of gurl authors. hmmmmm.....

Barbara Tuchman????
Marion Zimmer Bradley [Mists of Avalon]
Anne McCaffrey [Dragonriders of Pern books]

And now the explanation for the above, cause it isnt really a 'kosher' list. You folks are throwing around the powerful literary names, and I am at the disadvantage since I:
1) dont really read 'literature' so much any more, so it is hard to list those women of literary stature that 'speak' to me
2) for some reason never liked the concept of 'women' as authors
prefer to think of them all as 'people' as authors. which is odd, since I have always been a feminist/humanist. but that issue is a whole 'nother conversation.

Barbara Tuchman:
because she is right up there with Manchester as far as research is concerned. but she writes non-fiction, rather than creative literature
Marion Zimmer Bradley [sadly, recently deceased]:
as close to 'literature' as you will get in the SF/fantasy genre, right up there with Bradbury and Orson Scott Card. And she writes about pre-christian britain
Anne McCaffrey:
not 'great literature' but wonderful imaginative fiction--and about dragons! one of my other favorite female SF/fantasy authors.

As an aside on the SF genre and women. Mary Alice Norton has been writing both SF and fantasy for many years. Originally she wrote under the name Andre Norton, since she had no credibility in the field as a woman. She now uses her real name, with no loss of sales.

}:=8

Have to admit to a little confusion here, BluD. Billy mentioned above that she had put the kettle on and so I thought we were at her home. But it seems to be mine. Of course, she is (like your goodself) is most welcome to use my facilities, at any time. However, for the sake of clarity and for the avoidance of geographical confusion, I will be helpful if such references are qualified, e.g. 'I am just off to use BluD's lavatory' or 'Alice The Cat has puked on the bed.'

This extended preamble is a delaying tactic, whilst I build up to admitting that I have none of the suggested sandwich making materials. Unless Billy jauntily strides in with a cucumber, we shall, regretfully, suffer a huge disappointment.

Oh, Toker, silly. You ASKED me to put the kettle on. Remember....?

As for the cucumbers, I must admit that I am not in the habit of carrying them around with me. Although they are quite a useful vegetable. Or would that be fruit, as they have seeds? So we'll have to make due with what we have...... (rustles around in Toker's cupboard). Erm..... FlufferNutter sandwiches, anyone?

And for women authors, well, I would go with the aforementioned Alice Hoffman. She rights light, fanciful fiction laced with magic---but not quite tripping over the border into fantasy. I would also suggest "The God of Small Things" by Arundhati Roy. For a trip back on childhood perceptions of the world (and some tragic events), and a wonderfully fresh use of the language. And for more serious prose, there is always Toni Morrison.

I will admit that I haven't read bluDragon's recommendations, though having worked in a bookstore for several years, I'm familiar with them. And while I agree that authors are people first, men or women second, I've found that as a rule (and rules always have many exceptions) women write slightly differently from men. Men tend to focus more on plot (at least in modern fiction), women more on the feeling behind the plot. Although we could all probably list a hundred famous examples on either side where the opposite is true. And I have read not a lot in the realm of sci-fi or fantasy. Except, of course, Kurt Vonnegut. And this web-sites namesake.

But it IS hard to talk with a mouth full of FlufferNutter.

while confusing at first, there IS a logic to where we are [in the Guide, I mean--not much logic anywhere else]

This 'forum' originated on your home page, Toker: Toker's Corner. If you look on your home page, just below your entry, you will see the space called "discuss this entry". And in the list of 'conversations' is the one called "Hello, Toker" which billypilgrim started when she first visited. Other conversations about your home page are also listed here. So, the forum is located on your homepage. And it's your teakettle that's on...

But I brought gingersnaps...cause they go well with tea.
*passes 'round box of fresh gingersnaps*

Now, she continues,*munch, munch* you will also see the same conversation listed under 'recent forum entries' further down and to the right. This is because ALL of the forums that you [Toker] have posted to will show up under here, most recent first. These listings could be anywhere in the guide. And if you click on them you will be taken to the forum for the page that the conversation originally started from. Like when you click on 'Hi, bludragon', or 'yikes! holidays!' you will be at MY house. To help orient yourself when you arrive in a conversation, there is a title at the top of the page with the name of the home page, or article the converstion is about.

So there is a difference between the conversations about your homepage,[which take place at your house] and the listing of all the forums you have posted to [which could take place anywhere in the Guide]. And to which you can always bring refreshments of any type.

Of course, there is nothing to prevent all of us from going on a virtual trip, starting from any forum and ending just about anywhere. That's the part where someone says 'hey, wanna go to Edinburgh?' and everybody else says, 'sure, lets go!'. And there you go...

There now, have I thoroughly confused you about where we are and why???



}:=8
Queen blu, of Damogran
[leaving now to go home to bed]

Thank you both for the info. I shall look through the shelves at Amazon next time I go and let you know my purchase decisions.

Can we leave Edinburgh now and go somewhere a little warmer?

I vote for HAWAII...

}:=8

But the grass in Jamaica is something else.

(slapping on more sun-tan lotion and taking a drink of lemonade).

My, we should have thought to come here sooner.

(fans face with big hat)

Mmmmmm. Nice.

So, anyway, I was wondering. How do I get that "Who's on H2G2" link to appear on my homepage. Because it's nice, you know, to know who might be popping in on me. Although it's equally nice to be surprised.

More sorbet, anyone?