h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

*fanfare*

I hereby claim this page in the name of the people of the glorious nation of bubsterland.

Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!

The people of the glorious nation of bubsterland concur...!

*has to think for a moment before he can remember the appropriate salute...*

Huzzah! Huzzah! Huzzah!

*eyes Hypo suspiciously*

Are you sure those 'Huzzah's were sincere...?

*smacks her own forehead and waggles around, knees bent, in the formal bubsterland dance of the commonwealth*

Hi there Hypo. I see you've been flagged along with the rest of us.

*paints the bubsterland flag on Hypoman's face*

Has he? Hadn't noticed.

Well..the poll is in place but Ant is waving patriotically elsewhere I think.

*turning to a mirror to salute his own face, and wrapping himself up in a knot as he attempts to place the correct hand on the wrong side of his head...*

I look GOOD in this...!

Of course the 'Huzzahs' were sincere - how else can you be when singing the national song of the independent and highly sought-after nation of bubsterland...?

Ooo nice image of me you have your face there hypo

Oh, that must have been ANT'S hand I had on my head when trying to salute - no wonder it was so difficult...

Try waggling your knees back and forth...it often helps.

*blunders into clearing followed by her porters, who drop their bundles and flee, screaming*

*reaches quickly for handwritten phrasebook and leafs frantically through pages*

Uh,GuhDAY ... *frowns* and um, hoozar hoozar hoozar.
*looks up hopefully, trying not to stare at the entity with the waggling knees*

Baggy Caps! An unknown entity has apparently blundered into our territory! Apparently her porters have fled!

Hmmm she appears to speak the lingo, though. Shall I offer her a mango?

*her eyes narrow as the waggly-kneed one bursts into strange speech. Are these her last moments? Backing up slowly until she feels one of the porters' bundles at the back of her calves, she kneels and opens the pack with one hand, never taking her now-narrowed eyes off the outlandishly painted natives.*

*fumbling, fumbling ... ah! Rising to her feet, she holds out the smooth dark brown jar.*

Ve-ge-mite.
Ve-ge-mite.

*waggleknees over to her all-purpose royal fanny-pack and pulls out some oreos*

Or-e-os. *throws a couple*

I think it's friendly, your Royal Georgeness.

*flinches and falls to the ground as the wagglekneed one throws what look like nunjuku across the clearing*

ACK!! It's fallen over! It must be allergic to oreos!! Oh dear.. someone get me some theraputic ice cream or something!!

*gets horribly embarassed* *looks for a pillow or somthing*

Sheesh.. You'd think as the official Champ I'd be handling this situation better.

*abandonds knees wobbling nationalism and races around normally looking for a cup*

We have water, where's the cup???

*discovers herself to be still alive and unharmed*
*As the native abruptly changes stance and begins to run around and yell, Lil slowly stands up and retrieves her phrase book and the small bottle of vegemite*

*leafs through book and finds what she needs, then attempts to make eye contact with the frenetic one*

Take me to your leader.

*stops*

Hmmmmmmmm... If I'm not mistaken it just said "Take me to your leader".

*approaches slowly and cautiously holding out a dripping hand* Um... this guy, here, *points to bubster the Great George of bubsterland* he's the leader.

*looks at bubs*

You'd better say something. It looks like we have a visitor.

*Lil was afraid of this*
*Turns to look at fellow who would probably be amazingly good-looking if not for the flag painted on his face*
*observes extremely large two-ended baton and feels apprehensive*

Greetings, leader. *Holds up hand which turns out to still be clutching small bottle of vegemite* I am heading an expedition into the dark interior, in search of my cybernephew Quorthon.

Yeah, G'day. Was'at? Vegemite! That's a bit, I dunno, 'coals to Newcastle' ain't it...? Ah, well, I'll just put it over 'ere with the rest. *puts it over there with the rest*

Look, I'm sure the little blighter's around 'ere somewhere... Now where did we put 'im?

Tell ya what I'm gonna do - I'm gonna appoint ol' Baggy 'ere as, uh, Official Tracker, pro tem. 'E'll be able to show you a thing or two about the dark interior that you might never 'ave suspected. Yes. Yes 'e will.