h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I just wanted to pop by and say hello because it seems we have had an unfortunate misunderstanding on the paedophile thread. And I wouldn't like to think that there are any bad feelings about that.

I haven't agreed with a lot of what you posted and - sorry - found your way of speaking to me there to be somewhat aggressive. I just don't deal well with that sort of thing. My problem, I know. And so perhaps I over-reacted. And then when both you and Queex were posting things to me I felt a bit 'ganged-up on' - again, this is possibly more to do with my feelings and inability to always be 'totally logical'. Especially when discussing something that feels very personal to me.

In retrospect I should have popped over here sooner just to explain my feelings on a more 'private' thread (though I know that all threads here are public). So if I have offended you in anyway, please accepty my apologies.

In the past I have had another person quite nastily attack me on another thread and I'm afraid this maybe has resulted in me feeling overly-defensive these days. And so my first 'defensive action' now-a-days is to stop all communication with anyone who I feel is maybe doing this. But I should have come and explained this to you here, not say it there.

For my part, I have only disagreed with some of your words. This has no reflection on my opinion of you as a person. I mean, I don't know you at all and so I cannot actually have an opinion of who you are.

Also, whenever I've been posting on that paedophile thread (or even thinking about it) I have felt very very emotional. This is not meant as an excuse, but perhaps a bit of an explanation as to why I may have said things in the heat of emotion that perhaps did not come across the way I meant them. Anyhow, I did get the feeling that I have upset you, and that is why I am talking to you now. Because it is never my intention to upset anyone.

Anyhow, I won't be posting there anymore, I don't think. Though I will continue to read what others have to say. Basically, I think I have said all I can. Really, it is a difficult topic for me and I do find it pretty much impossible to remain calm and 'logical' about it.

Well, just wanted to say that. If you feel you would like me to explain anything further then maybe we can do it here and not there.

az

Thankyou for posting. I agree it's a misunderstanding, and genuinely, I did not want to upset anyone.
I can seem aggressive because my only view on the topic, basically, is that there is a lot of hysteria about it. That's not to say it's not happening, or- god forbid- that children should not be listened to, which has been a problem in the past. I hear far too many people complaining that they 'can't let their children out anymore' and that makes me sad, for the children, and angry at the parents although it isn't their fault either. I get really, spitting-angry at the mobs of people attacking people's houses due to their suspicions (in one case the victim was attacked for being a paediatrician... ) since it helps no one, least of all children. Some people view this as me
being an apologist, or at least being ignorant of the scale of the problem, since I think it's not as bad as is generally reported. These are my only motives, so I probably miss the emotional angle.
I got to thinking it couldn't be as simple as they were stating, and tried to learn more about it, such as can be learned. I am aware that some see Queex and I as 'academics' and as such think we're right and superior to everyone else, but I just try to learn about as much as possible through the only channels open to me. I cannot go out and learn first-hand about criminology, psychology and that, since it would be impossible. So I get the information second-hand from those who really do it. Queex is a statistician- which I think is quite valuable, since he is used to spotting innacuracies in data and methodology- and I'm a general designer of this and that, not an academic at all. And I don't think I'm better-informed or superior, just that what I know- and think- sounds right to me. I am always modifying my views though.

It did bother me that you weren't talking to me, but I misunderstood your reasons. I just saw it as disagreement; like you, I've had people treat me like this onsite and it makes me over-defensive too. I had someone refuse to talk to me since he'd 'heard it all before'. I was not trying to attack you, just disagreeing. I tend to get very involved in the threads I'm in, if that's any excuse... I am sure I can be intimidating.
I'm sure you know that Queex was posting not under my instructions. We don't see each other onsite much, but we'd both been in a similar thread before and got misconstrued as being some kind of collective; both posting for each other to uphold a shared idea.

I don't think any the less of you for being emotional. I can be hideously emotional about things, although for some reason don't usually get personally involved in wider social issues. I don't get upset at the news, I just think 'how awful' in a sort of detatched way. I don't know if that's changeable, but as long as I don't start thinking that those who *do* are foolish, I don't think it's a problem. It's weird since I am one of the most emotional people I know... I think if I were getting involved in a discussion about your experience of the problem, I would be unable to talk about it at all.
Which is why I try to limit what I say to scientific discussion of the problem, as that is all my knowledge of it is based on.

Also I probably sound a lot more bothered than I am, when people disagree. I don't have a point to make or a corner to fight, or a cause to support like Toxx's cyber-rights thing. (I was agreeing with him only in the sense that some legitimate photographers and artists get prosecuted under the law as it is. I couldn't get much out of the link he posted, and to be honest it's irrelevent to me; maybe I should have made that clear.) I just have a general interest in the topic which is part of my wider general interest in people.
I think you do a good job of making your points, and that they are based on feelings doesn't invalidate them. Ideally we should not have crossed swords at all, since if you are arguing from your emotions and I from my head (out of it, some might say... ) we both have separate points to make that do not conflict.

My posts have upset you, and I am really sorry for that. It doesn't accomplish anything and is really not what I want in a discussion. I hoped to address your points for the purpose of the rest of the thread, rather than forcing you to respond personally.
You haven't offended me, although I get incredibly personally involved with debates so I often get upset over them. But I hope we can shove this discussion aside, and talk about other things without any lingering ill-effects. And maybe form opinions about each other on more stable, friendly ground. (I'd like to know about your clothes design, in particular.)

Thanks for posting here, I really appreciate it. I hope we can have a better time from now on.