Hello, fellows!

Hello, folks, my name is Captain Reginald J. Lovejuice III. I am, as my name implies, a Captain of love.

There's not much to talk about, really. I hail from Benmark, the capital city of New Zanzibarland, a floating island nation that doesn't have any real static location but does pass over England once every two weeks. At 16, I became mayor because - upon the death of the former mayor, the great Senior Banifleck Q. Haroooooooon - I managed to find and hire Chris, my Chief of Defense, who had a much larger and stronger force of KillBots than any other in all of New Zanzibarland. Thusly, we won the war and I came into power.

I'm 20 now, having been mayor for four years, and my ministerial cabinet has grown considerably to contain the following members:

Chris, Chief of Defence
Johnny, Minister of Keeping It Real
Anton, Minister of Fried Chicken, Watermelon, and Other Racially Motivated Delicious Things
Ryan, Executive Minister of Not Being Retarded
Jordan, Chief In Charge of Talking Backwards Usually in Curse Words
Pete, Minister of Almost Fatass

and select others whose employment is currently in turmoil.

And so, that is what there is to know about my occupation. But what about the man? Well, I answer here.

I enjoy reading quite a bit, as Chris has an excellent assortment of books in the National Pile of Books. I also enjoy music, the louder the better, as heavy metal calls into question my mental state here in Benmark, and those who question the mental state of one with KillBots isn't likely to make an attempt on him.

I'm a simple person, really. One of my biggest hobbies is studying the human mind, largely its capacity to believe completely farcical stories for extended periods of time, particularly about false identities from fantasy islands floating in the sky or some such. You'd be surprised how many people completely fall for it. Who knows, I could just be some chap from Canada having some fun, maybe.

Who knows? That's up to you to find out.

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ACE's Hi Jul 2, 2006


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