h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You're supposed to be nice to get girlfriends, right?
And I try my best, I smile to girls and give them bubblegums
and all that's good, right?

So what the fuu is going on when I'm sitting on the bus and
hear this chick's boyfriend tell her she's so f*****g dumb and
ugly and she just smiles and goes "oh honey" and kiss him on the
cheek?

That's nothing. You should try finding a gay man...

I think not.
I've seen the "Big Gay Al" episode on South park.
Any other suggestions?

Yes. Try not to read /too/ much into South Park. Big Gay Al is a Big Gay Stereotype.

Well, I'm still not convinced/converted, whatever.
Darreny, you're the lucid dreaming guy right?
You heard about psychedelic trance music?
There's some very good toons at www.innerverse.com
And they're free.

Thanks. I'll have a look. Oh, and I wasn't trying to 'convert' you, or anything...

Now boys this conversation underlines all the insecurities that underlie your respective problems. If you wish some insight from the female perspective then let me know

Insight?
Give it to me baby!

Firstly just because a bloke is gay doesn't mean a) he immediately fancies you or b) by talking to you he is trying to pick you up. It is true that he might be but it is probably not the case. Gay men have very exacting standards most of the time and are tougher to pull then girls!

Secondly on the girls front - go up to a girl, smile alot and offer her gum and she will assume that you are the man her mother always warned her about! We are told from a very early age not to accept sweets from strangers. Avoid cheesy chat up lines Be yourself and be definite - no one likes a man to be horrible to them but girls prefer men who are definite about their actions rather then being a quivering lump of jelly.

Thirdly - where are you trying to pick these girls up? Remember though most people meet their partner through work - it is not the done thing. Bars are too casual and tend to imply one night stands. Oh and don't be too interested - girls love the thrill of the chase more then blokes!

Ok so then I'm straight on the gay men thingie.

On the smile and gum front, I'm this way to girls I know a bit at least...
I don't use chat up lines at all... maybe I should, as long they're not cheese?

I'm trying to pick them up at school... Does that count the same way as at work?

This girl knows I'm interested in her... I've heard she's interested in me too, but
IMO she shows all signs of the opposite. I've also heard she's very shy...

Hold on school school or college school?

Uh...
Norwegian Later High School.
I'm 17 years old.

So young Right well first of all how reliable is the source from which you heard she was interested?

Her friend, her other friends and a whole bunch of other people...
The reliability is pretty varying, but good enough at it's best I guess

Fine well I think because she is shy, she is uncomfortable in your presence and does not want to act interested in order that she doesn't embarrass herself. So if you want to ask her out you are going to have to find a way that does not put pressure on either of you and allows a quick exit route for her if she panics. Do they have sheep dog trials in Norway or is it a purely English thing?

Ok! Thank you for tip.
You described the situation perfectly...

About sheep dogs trials...
I guess there are some of those on the big gathering of sheep herds
that's once or twice a year up in the Sirdalen (county Rogaland or that
one to the east)

This is sooooooo luvly! Ahhhhhhaaaaa

Heyheyhey be quiet I'm about to learn something here!

Well you have to think about it like that - you cannot scare the sheep so you need to stay well back and make them do something but make them think they did it of their own accord! If you catch my drift. Make her think that she is in control of the situation and then she will relax and let her guard. Don't you agree Sid?

sorry that should have read "let her guard down."