h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You have frequently asked me why I do not use Tim's PC, and the main reason for this is that I do not consider Tim to be my friend. As far as I am concerned, the Tim who was a very dear, close friend of mine died when he moved to London. Sadly, what returned, the drunk, smoking, self-obsessed druggee is not the Tim I knew, and I fearnever will be again.

Over a period of a year, Tim frequently promised me free internet access when ADSL was installed, telling me that as he'd have to pay a certain amount a month anyway, it wouldn't matter how much it was used. Therefore I would be able to use it for free. Of course, I expected to only use it at convenient times, yet that was the promise made on more than 10 occassions.

When Tim was in London after we had moved into Broadlands Road, he frequently phoned me up and asked me to stay indoors as he had deliveries coming. As I was a friend, despite having other plans, I stayed in and waited for his:
Bookcases (2)
PC
Stereo
Desk
Monitor
to arrive (all of which arrived on different days) because he asked personally. I spent all of those days in the house, not leaving even to buy bread and milk when I had run out, to guaruntee I would be there on their arrival. I carried the heavy cases indoors - even unpacked the monitor outside the house as the box was too big to fit through the door. I sometimes had to wait up to 7 hours for Tim's parcels to arrive, as the delivery time was between 10am and 5pm. If it had been a job, I would expect to be paid 7x6x£4:10 = £172:20. But I did it because a friend had asked me, and you do favours for friends, without thought of money or reward.
I agreed to the disconnection of the hard-wired dial phone - a feature I loved about the house - because Tim promised I would share in the ADSL benefit.
It was I, and not Tim, who let the man connecting the ADSL into the house, and I was there when he installed it, moving Tim's furniture so he could fit the box. I was the one who made him a cup of tea, not Tim.
I did all of this as a favour for Tim as he had promised to do a favour for me - one which would cost him nothing - free internet access.
Yet despite all of this, Tim broke his promise. If he had come to me, explained to me his financial situation, and as a friend had asked for help, I would have been happy to help a friend and contribute towards the costs. But Tim did not act that way.
Instead, he chose to refuse to talk to me about it, and got Ian to talk to me for him. Although he didn't mind talking to me when asking for a favour, he refused to when he was going to say something that may have upset me. Worse still, he chose not to trust me, and feeling that, if asked not to, I would go behind his back and use his PC without his permission anyway, he installed passwords specifically to prevent me from using it.

In conclusion, Tim does not trust me. And, as he has broken a promise, I do not trust him. Especially considering he refuses to pay bills, making up petty excuses, and continues to smoke in the house.

There can be no friendship without trust, and so, as Tim used me to get what he wanted and refused to even speak to me when he decided to break his promise, a major insult, I cannot think of Tim as a friend.

The old Tim was a good friend, and I am sad to have lost him. I miss him, and mourn his death.

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Hmmm.....

I can imagine that's quite an annoying situation...



I'm not saying that Tim has or hasn't done something dishonourable, it's not my place... But after all... people are still people.

Being human, unfortunately, inherits certain attributes. One of those being the capacity to make mistakes. The other, fortunately, is the ability to learn from those mistakes and choose not to make them again. I guess being human "should" mean that we have the capacity to grow beyond our faults... but this I guess takes time, patience and wisdom. Something that with heinsight is perfectly clear, yet at the time isn't.

I guess, as I was trying to say earlier, I mean... That it's not what happens, who does something, how something happens, or where it happens. That counts... it's how WE deal with it. Because at the end of the day, WE will all be accountable. Despite another persons actions, we should not stear from the path of truth, respect, trust and love... despite anothers actions. I know that doesn't really help any, and it sounds like I'm lecturing, saying "do what I say, not what I do"... I say it as one friend to another, who doesn't want to see the things that have happened, happening. As it effects me aswell... because both of you are effected, and if I'm your friend it SHOULD also effect me.

I don't know... maybe he has changed, I've certainly noticed a lot of change in him since he's been to London... I'm guessing it's stemming from a rebelion from his parents ideoligy and "religion"... resulting in an unfortunate character alteration that stems from the persuit of such extreems of rebellion. ... But no matter WHAT has happened, or WHAT he's done... He IS still TIM. Nothing can change that! And if you once had friendship, fellowship and a sence of brotherly love for him. How can that be lost? Surely for the amount of betrayal, deceipt, dishonesty and pain that we have caused God... He too has the "right" to feel as if we neither care, nor love Him!!! But he doesn't, his Grace is still given to us freely, if it were not. Where would we be?!! We would have no love, no friendship, no happyness, no laughter, nor anything that we call Good. If it were not for the unconditional nature of God's love, we would be rightly sentanced to an eternity without him! But no, despite our failings our foolishness and inability to see the obvious, he has saved us! And for that, we owe him... and in the debt, we should unceaselesly pass that same love onto the people that we call friends, family, partners, people we meet in the street, at work, and even our enemies, or people that we would choose to ignore. If we do not share that love, are we not guilty of the same selfish attitude shown by the people who have hurt us?

Ultimately if you want to apply the same legalistic attitude that you have learnt to apply to life, please apply it through God's grace. Read what HE has to say on the subject, use the time that you have spent reading those VAST amounts of literature on authors of lesser grace, and wisdom, and apply that time to Studying the Bible, because as when you read a work by DNA, Tolkein, Pratchett, Asimov, Herbert... etc... you can see into their thoughts, their views, their ideas, their personality almost... So too is it with the word of God. If you claim to be honourable, then why do you not follow HIS commands? And why have you not proven to me that it is an important part of your life? You gave your life to Christ once, since then you have shared his spirit and have fellowship with him. Yet I sense that you have not continued in the fellowship of his people, and it greatly concerns me my dear friend. I have prayed for you and S' continually for some time now. And I have hope that your life, will and CAN be that which God has planned for you. Please don't take my words as anything other than an encouragement... Because although my intention is always honourable, it doesn't stop me being human...

I pray that you and Tim, will once again become friends... despite the current circumstances...


Take care my friend! You're in my prayers always...

And Godbless.

Ben, I believe that in many ways you can be friends with people, yet still not be able to live with them. Garfie was a good friend (hope you've invited him to the wedding, and if not, why not?! I can let you know his address) but he sure was annoying to live with. As you may remember, this time last year almost everything he did annoyed me like mad, but now we don't live in the same house, I miss him and value talking to him more.

I am sure that, equally, in a short time Tim & I may well be good friends again, but he is no longer someone I can comfortably live with - especially considering he seems to put his own degenerate habbit of smoking in the house above Sarah and my needs and health. I think a little time apart is for the best.

Living in the house at the moment is getting quite silly. Yesterday Sarah watched "A Nightmare On Elm Street", and, as both Sarah and Tim are horror film fans (at the beginning of the year Sarah lent Tim her Halloween films and Sarah borrowed Tim's "Friday The 13th") Tim having bought the "Nightmare" DVD boxset, Sarah quoted "1, 2 Freddy's coming for you" on the fridge. Apparently Fiona, though, interpreted that as another death threat and Ian left me a message saying that I should not threaten Fiona, which no-one has. If I quoted a famous Beatle's song, "Yesterday, All My Troubles Seemed So Far Away, Now It Looks As Though They're Here To Stay", it seems likely that Fiona would interpret that as my trying to tell her to go away and that I hate her and that she does not belong in Southampton.

I've no idea how things have got like this - and I see nothing but the funny side of it all.

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