h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It makes a bit more sense now – they were there to advertise the local panto, which is 'Aladdin'. Apparently they were even having Widow Twanky, played by Ceri Dupree, coming along to help switch on the lights.

<BB<

Oh no they didn't!

Oh yes, they did - she was behind you!

<BB<

I spend so much of my free time doing the washing up I've decided to try and define once and for all what the washing up is, so no-one else needs to argue over what does and doesn't count.

I. Washing up is the act of cleaning items, such as crockery and cutlery, used in the decoration, preparation and consumption of food.
II. Items not used in the decoration, preparation or consumption of food do not count as part of the washing up, unless stated below.
III. Objects dirtied through the application of medicines taken orally, such as spoons used for calpol, shall be included as items that can be washed up. This includes cups used when brushing teeth.
IV. Items used in food preparation that are allowed to be washed up include items used to store food, such as tubs, bottles and ice cube trays.
V. Items used in food decoration that are allowed to be washed up include Christmas cake decorations and the small candle holders placed in cakes to celebrate birthdays.
VI. Other candle holders and tea-light holders do not count as washing up.
VII. Items dirtied through acts of gluing, painting or play-doh do not count as washing up.
VIII. Electrical appliances such as kettles, fridges, microwaves, toasters, lean mean fat-reducing grilling machines that are dirtied in the act of food preparation do not count as washing up.
IX. Surfaces such as kitchen tops and tables that food has spilt on do not count as washing up.
X. Objects such as chairs, chair cushions and the carpet located beneath the children while they are consuming food do not count as washing up.

<BB<

That sounds like the sort of thing they would have hung on the wall at a camp site I once went to in Switzerland. I got a right telling off for washing a (plastic) child's bib along with the breakfast crocks.

re: X

The first bit of carpet we eliminated as soon as we were able was the carpeting in the dining room. It's much simpler to clean food from laminate flooring (if the dogs are slacking off and not doing crumb-cleaning duty).

XI. Plastic bibs with scoops at the bottom designed to catch food being fed to a baby count as washing up. Fabric bibs and other items of clothing do not.

A plastic bib is clearly washing up! It is probably used far more by most babies than bowls or plates – after all, the food is only in the bowl once, whereas it can fall in the bib loads of times before finally ending up in the mouth. That's just mean.

We found that the cheap Ikea ones worked better than the tommee tippee ones, which our two could take off within seconds.

<BB<

Is it wrong to feed children with a large trough in the garden and to hose them down afterwards?

Unfortunately we live in a 2-bed flat. Although there is a garden, it isn't attached to our flat and is down the path behind the down-below people's garden, so not easy to get to in a hurry. We don't have an exterior tap, either, so we'd have to attach the hosepipe to the bathroom, feed it up and over the little window and then stretch it down the path to our bit of garden. It gets to be quite a long journey from the bathroom, along the hall, down the stairs, along the path through the gate and into the garden, and then back to turn the tap off…

I also don't think you could fit a large trough in our small garden either.

<BB<

The kids woke up very disappointed at 6am. They had heard the rumours of 'snow in the north' and assumed it meant that we'd have snow, and although the temperature had dropped over 10 degrees, of course we didn't. Alas, when a weatherman says 'there is a nought point nought nought nought one percent chance of snow', all they hear is 'Snow!' and get all excited. As a parent although I can do lots of things for them, like, for instance, ensuring they have clean crockery and cutlery, give them affection and attention take them to places of interest and even stand in a queue in an enclosed, crowded space for 45 minutes, I can't make it snow.

At 8am I did Parkrun set-up again, tweaking the course to avoid the worst of the mud (the council drive a tractor around the park which keeps churning the park up) and as it was the 40th time I'd volunteered at Parkrun I was awarded my 25 Volunteer t-shirt. So I'm now among the Purple Parkrun People. I had quite a good run, too; the time was rubbish because of all the mud, but finished 41st out of 200, so I was very pleased with that. I've jumped up to 15th in the points table.

Back home before 10 and at 11am we all went out to town for the Christmas Lights Switch-On & Fun Day. When we arrived my wife and the children took part in a samba band for a bit, playing 'jelly on a plate' very loudly on very loud drums , although my daughter didn't want to wear any ear defenders. They also enjoyed stroking the animals at the mobile farmyard, and then we went into the shopping centre where they had a range of arts and craft tables in which the children, supervised by my wife, made and decorated Christmas hats.

While my wife and kids were doing this, I was elsewhere in the shopping centre. Now you may know that a crowded shopping centre is not my usual habitat; if humanity had meant to be inside shopping centres, we would not have invented the internet. Yet for the kids I joined a queue and, 45 minutes or so later, was at the front, and had phoned my wife to tell her to bring the kids over for their turn inside a giant, inflatable snow globe complete with fake snow being blown up into the air. You should have seen their faces, they were delighted.

After nammet we popped home for a bit before returning in time for the illuminated parade. This consisted of Father Christmas, followed by a fire-eating woman who worried them quite a bit. There was a 'Thunderbirds' float, a lifeboat, a local band, cycles4all and all their assorted bikes designed to show that anyone and everyone can cycle and a gang of bikers each dressed as Father Christmas. There were also people from the local pantomime. Now 'The Point' is a theatre where the pantomime this year is 'Dick Whittington', which explains why the pantomime Dame was shouting out phrases like 'Come to the Point and you'll see my Dick!' right in front of all the police who were doing crowd control, traffic management and all the other stuff the police do in events which involve crowds and fireworks. I wouldn't have thought it appropriate to say that to kids in this day and age, but they didn't bat an eyelid.

The parade finished and there was an awkward half hour wait, which was filled with a competition to see which of five children could say 'ho ho ho' the longest in one breadth (ie ho ho hoooooooooooooooooooo'), with most of them going for volume instead. Someone from the panto sang a song which sadly we couldn't hear because of the interference noises the speakers were making and then we had the fireworks. After this they both had a ride in the funfair while the crowds died down and then we went home.

I missed Doctor Who's pre-credits sequence, though

<BB<

On Sunday morning I travelled to the Dibden Inclosure in the New Forest to compete in a CC6, a cross country race held between the running clubs in the New Forest and Southampton region (Eastleigh Running Club, Halterworth Harriers, Hardley Runners, Lordshill Road Runners, New Forest Runners, Romsey Road Runners, Solent Running Sisters, Southampton AC, Totton Running Club, Wessex Road Runners and Winchester & District AC).
Despite the sudden plummet in temperature from 15 to 0 degrees, I was there in shorts and running vest along with maybe 400 others, ready to run a challenging 5-mile route. And it was challenging; muddy paths with deep, deep mud and areas where you searched for a solid surface. There were iced-over puddles, tree roots to dodge, steep hills to scramble up as we ran in all sorts of areas, from woodland, heathland, sand dunes and chalk hills. Definitely a wide variety of terrain, and yes, at one point I fell over. How it happened I'm not sure, whether I slipped on the mud, tripped on a root or slid on some ice; I was moving along upright and suddenly found myself appreciating the beauty of one of Britain's National Parks from a new-found, horizontal perspective. At least I landed in something soft – very damp mud.
Still, I finished in roughly where I expected to and at the end of the run was given .

<BB<

[Amy P]

Mississippi Mud Pie BB

Another dull day.

By far the coldest day of the year to date, and what is worse my old winter bike gloves with fingers are completely worn out and I hadn't been able to get new ones, as whenever I've been to the local sports shops the only size cycle gloves they've sold are 'extra-large'. I can't wear my non-bike gloves as they're thick and padded, and if I wear them I can't operate the brakes. I'd forgotten how much having uncovered hands can hurt in the cold.
So at lunch time I went glove shopping (again) and even braved the West Quay Shopping Centre (the 35th biggest in the UK). Once again, they were selling only extra-large gloves except for one pair which was a bit too small for me, but having a size too small is better than not having any.

I also found out that apparently I qualify for Costco membership, for only £25 a year! The question is, is Costco Membership actually worth having?

<BB<

Wear a pair of thinner gloves underneath your old biking gloves - leather is best, but knitted will do. I always have two pairs on - A lined leather pair, which are black, and over the top a larger pair of white gloves, so I am seen when I indicate.

When people say 'biking' I always think of motorbikes. I'd use 'cycling' for the pushbike variety.

And so when TC describes her biking gloves, I have a vision of leather gauntlets with 'Death or Glory' written in skulls.

I never think of motorbikes.

But I'm happy to lend you my skull-studded gloves any time!

White gloves – I'm now thinking of you and big jazz-hands

<BB<

Annoyingly I got a puncture on the way in to work today, so I was forced to divert and catch a train instead. I only arrived 15 minutes late, so I don't think anyone noticed.

In other news our choir has been told we are performing at the carol service next Tuesday, even though we've not actually rehearsed any carols.

Fortunately next Tuesday is 1st December, so I won't have to tell anyone how we get on

<BB<