h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Good to hear you had a successful charity shop trip, and hope you don't feel you absolutely have to dredge your way through my NatWest doodles. There's a couple of things I wouldn't write now and a lot of it probably doesn't make any sense if you don't know about international cheque processing in the opening years of the 21st Century.

Today I'm preparing for another desk move – I'm moving to the desk that the was on. That desk is a bigger corner desk with 5 drawers, so a step up from the 2-drawer small desk I'm currently on. It will be big enough to enable me to have my mouse mat under my mouse (at the moment there's no room for it there so my mouse is on my right but the mouse mat is on my left).

I'm planning on being out of character and watching a Christmas film tonight – but an early-day December Christmas film, not a big-hitter double-digit December Christmas film. So far I've seen 'The Grinch' (2018), 'White Christmas' (1954), 'A Christmas Carol' (1951), 'A Christmas Carol' (1999), 'A Christmas Carol: The Movie' (2001), 'A Christmas Carol' (2009), 'Blackadder's Christmas Carol' (1988), 'Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas' (1999), 'Beauty and the Beast: Belles' Enchanted Christmas' (1997), 'Winnie-the-Pooh: Seasons of Giving' (1999) and 'A Christmassy Ted' (1996).

Is this the TEF & HECoS pilot? The VC likes to be at the forefront of things that will happen anyway and likes the uni to be involved in pilots to hopefully be able to shape the way the scheme is rolled out in a way that benefits Solent and also raise Solent's profile . It should mean that the extra work involved will mean they can't make me redundant! But yes, it will be a main focus on my work but at the moment I'm being kept busy with preparing to add all our 2019/20 courses onto the SLC HEi database – all the undergraduate ones need to be set up by the end of January or our students next year won't get their .

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I'm enjoying skimming through the doodles as it gives me a flavour of what else went on in banks beyond the sales team in the branches (I once considered a career in that sector), plus some of them are particularly hilarious!

I hope your desk move went well. That is impressive that you displaced the and it sounds good that you can use a mousemat as well as extra storage I guess you're having to just enjoy it while you can, though...

"Is this the TEF & HECoS pilot? "

Yes, that's the one - I hope all goes well for your work in relation to that Good luck with the database stuff too Yes, pilots are a challenge, that on the one hand they tend to mean more work that could potentially distract from core business, but on the other hand there are benefits and prestige attached to them so it is generally worth trying to be involved!

Lunchtime was an illusion again yesterday because 4 friends celebrated their birthdays within the last 3 days, but it was good fun Quieter today, and still warm weather so I should enjoy a quick run round outside in a few minutes - quite heavy rain this morning but it is 11 degrees...

Thank you for the card with the portrait of Nessie in it for me to keep You are doing well with Christmas films An impressive range of years and genres within the theme, there! Keep up the good work

Banking isn't all about sales - I worked in two different banks for 5 years (NatWest and Bank of Scotland 2003-8) and never once sold anything to anyone! Mind you, neither the office nor the bank branch I worked in are still there.

It looks like you've just got the 38-page 'The Children of the Cheque' to read, which is a little story based on my role at the Cheque Centre Helpdesk. Feel free to ask what I mean by different bits. It is probably the bit most like 'Bank Wars'.

The I displaced was the one I had carried to work on the train back in 2016 and can be seen here: A87900753. This morning it has been stolen from the office with a ransom note demanding prosecco, which is a bit worrying 'cos it is still my tree that I was sharing with the office, and this is the thanks I get for trying to bring festive cheer at work. I hope it is just a prank and it will be returned tomorrow. For as Queenie said, 'Christmas is a time for tricks and japes and larks of all kinds'.
What I'm enjoying most is that, now being on a corner desk, I have legroom 5 days a week! It is a real luxury that I intend to make the most of while it lasts.

Yesterday's film in the end was 'Edward Scissorhands' (1990), which is more a film partially set at Christmas than a full-on Christmas film. But it is directed by Tim Burton with music by Danny Elfman, so has a real festive fairytale flavour nevertheless.

Glad you got the card and crossword safely, despite the lack of seasonal stamps . Six down seems to be the one that everyone is struggling with this year…

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That's good that you didn't have to sell anything. The careers advice I got at Uni was a bit limited, to say the least - didn't say much at all about work in banks, but did say more about work on a motorway deciding when to light up the 'slow down' signs

I hope your was returned today so that the festive cheer can continue

Yay legroom!

Edward Scissorhands is a classic film indeed - very memorable

I haven't quite finished the crossword yet but 6 down was OK for me as I have seen our local Play 27 down fitted in impressively well, too

I hope you have a good weekend. I need to do more Christmas stuff, but I'm also planning to go to another lecture, so hopefully that will be as good as the last one

When I got home yesterday there was a waiting – so a huge THANK YOU! for that. We look forward to seeing what there is, the is under the at the momement.

And talking of that, yes, we got our back, hurray! It was Income Team who had nicked it – should I be worried now knowing that our income team are, in fact, thieves? Or in cockney rhyming slang, tea leaves (or should that be tree leaves?) Their office is next door to ours but as their office deals with money it is a secure is room we can't get in and aren't allowed to enter, but they can venture forth into our office. Seems unfair to me.

The question you've raised now is; have you ever done any work on motorways and decided when to light up the 'slow down' signs, perchance? I never realised that it was a career, but then we don't have motorways on the Isle of Wight…

Believe it or not I saw a film yesterday too – the 1935 adaptation of 'A Christmas Carol', which is the first sound version. I only have 4 versions left to see this year – I'll have to stock up on more. There'll be no time to watch films as I'm off to see my friend Jude after work. This weekend, after parkrun, if the weather's good I hope to take the kids to Southampton for the afternoon while my wife has a Christmas get-together with people she knows. Enjoy the lecture!

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Yay! Glad the parcel arrived safely The Christmas card is in there, but not my completed crossword grid this time as I hadn't finished it before I posted the parcel - I'll send that separately

Ooo, that is sneaky that the income team can get into your office but you can't get into theirs! Glad the came back and you found out who the 'tree leaves' were

"The question you've raised now is; have you ever done any work on motorways and decided when to light up the 'slow down' signs, perchance?"

No, I can't say I have - at uni I was made aware that it was a career, but not made aware of how to go about getting such a career! I was just unemployed for two years until a stats job came up... I get to do some mathematical modelling in my current job, though, and that's always fun with or without involvement of cars

Sounds like you all had a great weekend - I see you got a good parkrun time, so I hope that means your ankle is doing better. I did indeed enjoy the lecture - I didn't know there were so many different types of blue poppy, but they are all lovely to look at and the speaker was very enthusiastic

If you want to scan/photograph the crossword, that's fine – you don't need to pay for postage and that way you get to keep it (if you wanted to keep it, that is).

The came back shortly after I wrote 'Missing Tree ' on my milk bottle, just as they used to put Missing Children on milk cartons in America. I think it made them feel guilty. My next step was going to be roping off the area with tinsel and adding post-in notes saying 'Crime Scene', but just as I thought of it the tree came back. Something for me to remember if they do it again. Do you have decorations up at work?

I had a good parkrun and was able to put some weight on my ankle again, so that's encouraging. I don't want to take it for granted yet and not overdo it. I just need to do 2 more parkruns this year and I've got to 50!

Will we see an entry on blue poppies coming to a Peer Review near You soon?

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Yes, scanning is a good idea - I’ve done that

That was a good idea to use your milk bottle to advertise the missing . Yes, you’ll be ready for it if they try that again

We do have a few decorations at work - there is a corporate in reception and I have some tinsel on my noticeboard The office is like a sauna today as it is still 10 degrees outside but the heating thinks it’s freezing... I’m staying hydrated with plenty of - unusual for me to drink 5 cups in a day and not need the loo 5 times too!

I meant to say I enjoyed The Children of the Cheque, by the way - the pink bikini top was rather scary whenever it appeared but the technical details were well illustrated so it was understandable and funny . Thank you for sharing it

That is encouraging that your ankle felt better - I hope it continues to improve. Don’t overdo it indeed. Well done on managing so many parkruns already this year and good luck for the next few weeks

We may see an Entry about blue poppies soon . as it would go very nicely alongside the blue butterfly Entry but we shall see... I’m very good at procrastinating - I need to write up the Wirral Transport Museum and Curlews and things, but instead I wrote about a (it was so cute I couldn’t resist!)

* wrote about a

Talking of , I've brought the little paper you sent me on my desk at work, where it is fighting against the draconian regulations banning personal artefacts on desks, which everyone at work is ignoring 'cos it is Christmas. There is a downstairs opposite main reception while there must be 4 or 5 in the Spark Building, 'cos it is new.

I'm having lots of fun adding HECoS codes (Happy Elephants Can often Swim) on the SLC () website. Each course has to have 1-5 HECoS codes associated with it that need to be added manually to their website – they can't give you a head start by converting the existing JACS codes to the nearest HECoS equivalent and letting you tinker here and there as necessary, no it is a start from scratch job.

But each course has several different varieties, so if we had a BA (Hons) Tea Making course, as far as the SLC are concerned there are 8 courses, each needs 1-5 HECoS codes added manually (you can't add them once and copy/paste across the others):
Tea Making
Tea Making with Placement Year
Tea Making with Course Foundation
Tea Making with Placement and Course Foundation
Tea Making with Business Foundation
Tea Making with Placement and Business Foundation
Tea Making with International Foundation
Tea Making with Placement and International Foundation

I'm glad you enjoyed 'The Children of the Cheque' even if you didn't have a clue about international cheque processing. And as for the ending – well, it was a bit predictable. I mean, who hasn't seen the old 'the villain turns out to be a half-human, half-New Zealand Dollar cheque' climax a hundred times or more? I see you saw (Marjorie Daw) last week's 'Bank Wars'. I wonder whether I'll finish writing it before Christmas?


I'm too good at procrastinating too – I have to write the Crossword answer sheet for . There's always lots of ideas to write about, and no time to write 'em. But this week I've had my 400th entry make the Front Page. (Solo is inaccurate as it counts them before they get to the front page).

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"I've brought the little paper you sent me on my desk at work, where it is fighting against the draconian regulations banning personal artefacts on desks"

Yay - I hoped you would (I'm not a fan of 'clear desk policy' as it seems like a waste of time to me to have to spend ages bringing stuff out of a drawer and then putting it back again later rather than just leaving it ready every day, so I salute you all for that ).

Wow, that is epic with the HECoS codes... And it is important, too - we found out in TEF ( Eats ) that our Tea Making course had two JACS codes and was classified in CAH2 (Can Help 2?) as half in Anthropology and half in Philosophy, which made the data very difficult to understand We're hoping HECoS will help with that, but I'm not involved in the fine detail myself - I hope that goes well for you between the cake-loving shark and the oft-swimming happy elephants!

"But this week I've had my 400th entry make the Front Page. "

Wow indeed Congratulations!

Yes, your writing of Bank Wars will depend on what else goes on before Christmas and how much procrastination gets done! Good luck - I did seesaw Marjorie Daw the batch of Bank Wars yesterday and enjoyed it very much

It is very dull, repetitive stuff but apparently I'm one of the few people they trust with doing it, 'cos if it is input wrong there can be consequences. I think that's a flattering way of saying 'no-one else will do it'.

The Christmas 'Radio Times' is out now – time to get the highlighters out . And on Friday we have work Christmas Jumper Day and team Christmas meal. I think my Christmas jumper is probably about 7 or 8 years old now… We also had our choir secret which was supposed to be -clothes themed. But it is signs that we're getting nearer and nearer to Christmas. The I bought today (I labelled it with a drawing of two eyes and the words 'Warning! Christmas thieves operate in this area') for my has a best before date of Christmas Eve.

How are things up where you are?

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"It is very dull, repetitive stuff but apparently I'm one of the few people they trust with doing it, 'cos if it is input wrong there can be consequences. "

I can imagine it is dull, but yes your attention to detail will make sure it is done well. Good luck with it all

"How are things up where you are? "

"Fine" - the enthusiasm I had on 1 December had been used up by 3 December, but anyway things are getting there, slowly... On Friday we have Christmas Jumper Day and team Christmas meal, too, so that should be... interesting... The office isn't quite at sauna levels today because it is only 3 degrees outside, but it is still a summer day (23 degrees) so a jumper is not needed... The meal last year was excellent, but we're going somewhere different this year, so we shall see how that goes...

My first Christmas meal of the season was in November, and that was very good - I tried a cockle and can confirm I gladly leave cockles to the oystercatchers as it was a strange muddy seafood flavour! However, the rest of the fish dish was good, and the dessert was a lovely light chocolate mousse cake

Our secret is next week, so that should be good. What is "-clothes"?

"I labelled it with a drawing of two eyes and the words 'Warning! Christmas thieves operate in this area'" - excellent

I hope the Christmas Radio Times is productive for your highlighting

I have to remember to wear a Christmas jumper tomorrow, and on Tuesday I'm supposed to wear black or red for our choir's Christmas performance at the VC's Christmas do. I don't really have black or red tops. I could wear black trousers and a fez or hat…? My new coat is black, but I really wouldn't want to wear that indoors.

I've not had a Christmas dinner yet this year so first one tomorrow. I think Southampton's so full of restaurants it is virtually impossible to go to the same one twice! In any case, it'll be the first time I've eaten with this team since the big restructure last April.

Oh, by I meant cheesy-clothes, hats and antlers etc. Not actually wearing cheese Hopefully I'll eat Christmas dinner tomorrow without spilling anything down me at all.

I've only had a brief look at the Radio Times as I was ironing last night, so I'll be looking again hopefully tonight.

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Yes, black and red are tricky colours - red is too bold for me and my black Queen t-shirt has a large blue phoenix logo on so wouldn't be quite right! This year Galaxy Babe gave me a black h2g2 t-shirt, though, so I'd be alright A fez or hat sounds good on the red front, but might not be quite what they had in mind

"Oh, by I meant cheesy-clothes, hats and antlers etc. Not actually wearing cheese "

Ah! I was wondering if you were all to receive yellow t-shirts or something! It was "supposed to be -clothes themed"? - did some people not stick to the brief?

I hope your meal is good and you don't spill anything indeed. I like gravy, but it is a risky thing to eat! I'm worried about what food I might get today as I haven't seen the menu yet, but I'm hopeful that at least the company will be good as it is my second Christmas meal with this team. I hope you find yourself in good company, too

I don't really go for coloured clothes and tend to stick to simple stuff. I have a black jumper but they definitely like keep the heating on too high and if I'm singing in front of people I'll be nervous and sweating anyway…

Yellow, on the other hand, I've got a lot of, for running and cycling. So I could potentially wear five yellow layers on top - a yellow base layer, a yellow t-shirt, a yellow jersey, a yellow coat and a yellow hi-viz vest. That'd definitely be too hot, though.
Some people forgot the Secret was clothes-themed and I was given a 'True or False' game instead, but it was amusing the family when I took it home so I'm sure it’ll prove popular.

I must admit I don't really like gravy I prefer salad cream with a nice roast dinner, but inexplicably they don't have salad cream in most places you go to for a roast. Or even in Subway, a shop that sells salad sandwiches, which surely is where people most want salad cream. I've carried my own to Subway before. I have a salad cream bottle at work.

Today's Christmas jumper day sadly involved the open plan office where I work being crowded close to my desk, so I ended up having to leave the room to get some space. I miss not having a nice, quiet, out of the way office.

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Yeah, the heating is the thing that put me off Christmas Jumper Day on Friday - I went for the 'Bah humbug' approach instead. I would have donated anyway, but I didn't find the collecting tin Sorry you lost your legroom for a while because of the crowds... The powers that be that put you in open plan office probably don't appreciate the advantages for some people of "a nice, quiet, out of the way office"

That is good that although your secret didn't stick to the brief you got a useful

Ah, yes I remember you mentioning salad cream before - that is strange that you have to bring your own to Subway, of all places! You would have approved of the Christmas dinner I had on Friday as there was plenty of sauce of all colours including salad cream The menu was traditional and well cooked so I enjoyed it. I was sitting by myself for quite a while, which was worrying, but the latecomers were the people I get on with best so it worked out well indeed

I hope your dinner went well and that you had a good weekend, too

The team Christmas meal went well – I was the last to arrive as I went via the machine but ended up sat at the end near the door with lots of space, rather than being cramped in, as the restaurant was so crowded I was one of the few people able to move. The meal itself was fine, nothing spectacular but it was reasonably-priced and the restaurant was conveniently located near the uni, train station and shops so I was able to go quickly Christmas shopping on the way to the station. When I got home we drove to a barn where they had a Nativity carol service inside the stables complete with a few real animals , which was very festive if cold (brr).
That Friday was the day of the official Christmas do, which I've never been to despite being here almost 11 years. Some people went to the pub after our lunch and then must have been very drunk for the formal meal…

There's some more 'Bank Wars' today, heading to the 'Happily Ever After' ending. (The previous comment on 'Bank Wars' about whether getting a joke was worth it was because I thought that that joke was quite good, but I do wonder whether a joke that isn't understood right away, it ceases to be funny. Someone once said that explaining a joke is like dissecting a - no-one likes it and the dies. So was it funny? )

Hope you had a good weekend!

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"The team Christmas meal went well"

Excellent - glad it worked out for you to get space Makes things much more pleasant Good that it was conveniently located, too (some city restaurants can be in very out of the way places...). Glad you had a productive afternoon, too - a carol service in a barn sounds very atmospheric

Yes, the official Christmas do doesn't appeal to me, either - it was bad enough a couple of years ago when the department Christmas do took place in a ballroom with ridiculously loud music playing while I was trying to eat dessert I didn't stay long after that, but other people do like to celebrate very much with alcohol and dancing...

I saw the batch of Bank Wars, so I have bookmarked it for tonight

"The previous comment on 'Bank Wars' about whether getting a joke was worth it was because I thought that that joke was quite good, but I do wonder whether a joke that isn't understood right away, it ceases to be funny"

Ah Thank you for explaining your question - I didn't understand it indeed because of looking at it through a lens of being depressed like Marvin, sorry...

There is a difference between getting a joke after a while, and not getting the joke so having to have it explained - true enough about the but the moment of seeing something, realising it is a joke, and then working out what the joke is all by myself is as pleasing as instant humour Made me laugh indeed

I did have a good weekend - I was feeling but then I went to birdy place and the little birds that I had seen before flew closer than usual around me so that made me feel better

The carol service in a barn was quite atmospheric, even if the kids were more interested in running round and jumping. Still, they were happy. I took a photo which will be appearing in soon.

Glad you still enjoyed the joke even if you didn't get it right away. (Sadly the reason why Lloyds TSB is abbreviated to LBG is because they sold off The Savings Bank, which is less funny). We’re really in the end game now – in fact it would probably make sense if I finish it now (I'm on page 695) but I'm dragging out the ending slightly just so I can get to 700. Who doesn't love a 'the hero gets the girl and they live happily ever after' ending?

Lots of end of year stuff now – this morning we had an 'away day' in the new building and I'll be heading back there in a minute to sing as the choir is providing uplifting entertainment following the VC's speech.

So how many did you see this year? Have you managed to reach your target?

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