h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

You know what way, Mac you know.

It's not going to end well Captain.

Not sure what part of Austria they're from, Mac.

Could be Salzburg Sarah. Or Kitzbuehel Kate.

But those houses don't have basements so it should be okay.

Bye Jack.

Yeah but the houses they do have basements in they didn't check there.

Although now I come to think of it, didn't that Fritzl guy actually build the basement himself without anyone noticing?

An impressive construction feat you have to admit.

I'll have to listen out for digging noises.

I'm guessing should you be invited round Fritzl would be the main topic of conversation? I mean what other famous guys do they have?


Well Hitler I suppose.

Fritzel Frau?

I am going to have to stop there before I post something that will get me banned

Yeah you don't want to get on the wrong side of the mods here, they can be pretty merciless.

Isn't that right Jack?

Yeah, you wouldn't want to do that, PSD. YOu might end up in premod for eight months.

It's a bit sad, isn't it, Mac? They've only got Hitler and Fritzl to ermmm, boast about.

Although, when it comes to celebs we've got Bono.

Might be best to steer the conversation away from celebrities when I'm talking to them.

Come to think of it, they've got Mozart as well. And some famous downhill skiers too, probably.

You might be best avoiding conversation at any cost Jack.

Bono, Hitler and Fritzl. A pretty grisly combination between the two countries.

They have that bloke that sung Rock me Amadeus - he was Austrian although can't remember who he is

Now got that song stuck in my head

I have no idea.

His name was Falco, PSD. And he's dead now anyway.

And Julie Andrews realistically doesn't count.

Okay Mac, I'll steer the conversations away from celebrities and basements. Maybe I'll just stick to football.

Do you know your Austrian football Jack?

Well, I know that Trapattoni was Red Bull Salzburg manager before leaving to manage Ireland and the same team knocked Bohemians out of Europ with a flukey last minute goal a couple of years ago. Then there's Paul Scharner's dodgy haircurts. And the fact that Sturm Graz made the CL a couple of times and were absolutely useless.

So pretty expert, eh?

That should keep the conversation going for oo, about five minutes.



Should calm them down enough not to stick you in the basement though.

Fingers crossed, Mac.

I don't want to have half a dozen babies while locked in a basement for twenty years.

It's bad enough being in a house with kids already right?

Pretty much, Mac.

If only sex wasn't so much fun.