h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The futility of fruit juice

Posted May 27, 1999

It has just occurred to me in the last few minutes that there is nothing quite so pointless in this world as the juice of a fruit. Fruits are bits of a living organism, specifically one which generates its own food, which contain the genetic material necessary to reproduce the species. Oranges are an example and the said material is contained in the little hard bits in the middle. What is pointless is that the orange should have so much juice and that it should be sweet and drinkable. Surely if the juice were not drinkable the seed would have more time to stay in the nice soft preserved world that is the inside of the orange and then it would have a much higher chance of surviving to produxce another orange tree? Some people would see this as proof of the existence of God. Personally, I am an atheist so I do not believe in any superior omnipresent being. That is another story.

There is only one juice to which I can see a point. I refer to the lime. Similar to the orange in texture and construction, the lime is smaller and possesses a much sharper taste. This makes it ideal for mixing with another drink known as 'Bacardi', a light rum made from sugar cane, to produce a drink with slightly less permanent effects than the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster, but which is cheaper, much nicer with crushed ice and more readily available on Earth, for example a pack of four 275ml bottles is available for £4.49 at my local Asda supermarket (current exchange rate to Altairian Dollars not known.) It is also an excellent muscle relaxant, providing inversion of the gastric tract only after mixing with something from the subcontinent south of the Himalaya or something greasy from a hotdog van.

May I recommend this excellent substance to the approval of all Hitchhikers from far and wide.


 

Discuss this Journal entry [1]

Latest reply: May 27, 1999