h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I don't think you're ready for my (vodka) jelly

yes! Yes! Yes I am! I'm so ready, I'm like a really really ready person, who's got really ready for something, and then waited and waited, for ages and ages, and ages, and getting even* more ready each and every nanosecond, and who'd then gone and got a bottle of extra ready, and some extra-special-ready-ness inducing powder, adn then got twice as ready adn then some extra ready for luck! < I'm more ready thnan a really ready person, who's been the winner, three years in a row, of the Mr Ready world title

Here, 2legs, have this can of cheap lager. Oh, who turned the lights off? What's that playing on the stereo?

Why, it's our Kestrel Man Hoovers in the Dark....

*drinks from can* this doesn't taste like vodka
*pours can of lager onto table leg and continues licking table leg*

*licks *

Nighthoover, Nighthoover... you know how to do it!

yea! *starts dancing again* oh... oh. nighthoover... you know how to do it

It's only recently that I've realised "Night Fever" actually has lyrics. To me it's always gone "Neemeneemenee! Neemeneemeneemenee! Neemeneemeneemenee and I can feel it!"

Although I am aware it has words/lyrics.... I really can't think what they are, unless I hunt down a clip on youtube...

Ooo! tune!

**DJ spins the next record**

Ooo, tongiht we're gona hoover, like its 1999!

*pulls off a not quite authentic looking disco slide across teh floor, results in one broken flower varse and a slightly bermused looking previous sleeping cat**

*plays next record* Of course, Rick Astley warned us all about this way back in 1862... or thereabouts...

Hoover gonna give you up... Hoover gonna let you down...

I actually have that Rick astly song somewhere, on a CD compolation

we need to re-do bognor... and this time hoover-ise the songs, rahter than badgerise them...

I was thinking about Bognor recently. We totally should do it again, but can we go somewhere more central this time?

I just can't believe quite how long ago it was! Where would central be?

Dunno. Yorkshire maybe?

Scarburgh? Blackpool? err... I'm not sure my decrepid body could cope with another Bognor badger inferno

I've got it. Let's all decamp to Berwick-upon-Tweed

Who could we persuade to come with us though? few of the origional Bognor badger boozers seem to have survived on hootoo

I would just like to point out that I don't even know what a Bognor is, but I do have a shirt with badgers on it.

One of our kings made a rather rude remark about Bognor (Regis). I don't know his opinion of badgers.
*spins on head, rocks from hand to hand and back-flips out of french window*
Ooh, look I'm in France! How did that happen?

Your in France? Oh... does that explain why I'm in this box?

**voice eminating from within a box*