h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Arranges the worms out of 12 tequilla bottles into a seriously dodgy maize crop circle. Adds tequilla to liguor cabinet

aahh
TEQUILA
sunrise on a Saturday morning

Raises glass, it is actually an enormous plastic tumbler, cheers johnnyr. Trips over large anteater, spills glass, swears loudly in an obscure Icelandic dialect

which was a bit of a shame really
because the poetry
was wasted on the audience
as they didnt understand
Icelandic

They are blushing in Reykjavik. The sea elephants are off their food.

Off their food and on our menu!!
Stoke up them ovens - we are going to have a BIG barbeque

prepares a beautiful circular barbecue dish of baby porpoise bladders daintelly positioned on the young sea elephant ribs

I'm back.

Just popped out to go get some 'Sea Horses' to eat. I think they will do well on the BBQ.

Oh, hello to all the new guest. Please take a seat, drink as much as you want, and eat up as there are heaps more to come

Places a large plate of horseradish sauce beside the sea horses. Recovered from Icelandic tantrum. Voice not so hoarse now. Wonders if anyone has access to horseshue crabs.

While everybody is having a siesta, having time on his hands, fills a nearby lake with Tuilip Soup

I hope your no going to the toilet in that lake? I imported the water. It's very expensive, it is infact Perrier, make for a nice swim as I know I can drink the water.

Strangely comes out of Tuilip Soup filled lake smelling of roses. Admits to doing number 2s behind strawberry tree on land at far side of lake.

Ok, I think it might be time for some party games. I have a whole pile of marshmallows, so we can play fluffy bunnies.

*shoves a marshmallow in his mouth* Fluffy bunny

Puts on his fluffy animal slippers, Bengal Tiger, puts marshmellow in mouth, takes marshmellow out of mouth, dunks it in tequilla, puts marshmellow back in mouth

Gingers nuts dunked in tequila
make a lot more noise
than marshmallows

Yeah, but a marshmallow that has been in the fire hurts like anything when it sticks to you.

Takes a large swig of kumquat brandy from large flagon

poor Ginger

Slightly concerned about dunking Hazelnuts

Hmm, time for some more food I thinks. How about some monotremes such as duck-billed platypus, and some echinda. Just watch the spikes on the echindas, they can hurt.