h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

that was gooooood. (pretend I'm an old jazz star with a twin brillo pads for lungs...)(it sounds better that way)

for all i know you might be.

tou'che..., perhaps...I am...perhaps...I'm not....It could be one of my multiple personalities.
You could be an 75 year old woman with one ear and a matching tooth to boot, who has a fixation with forum chatting with young american girls so she can fantasize about hunting them down later and torturing them by blowing air through a straw into their overly dry eyeball.. But hey whatever, its still good conversation, even if you are an old woman with a matching ear and tooth set.

we could record a jazz song about freaks.
in fact I am the retarded son of an old woman with 7 fingers on each hand (that's out of a sparklehorse song.)

Hmmm.... Yes that definitely an idea, perhaps that is the true answer to how I'll make my fortune.... Uhm, I have a friend who does not have 7 fingers but has two connected toes on each foot. He cannot wear those fun little toe socks

I know two cats with 6 toes on every paw and they can't wear those fun socks either

such sadness without toe socks....how will they go on...

well it helps to spend 36 hour periods lying in one spot on the couch, and eating. these two things may not add up to the ebullient joy of toe socks, but since they have never known this wonderment they are oblivious.

I'll have to try that sometime, actually oop no, I've done that already... what a suprise, now i'll have to try it while wearing toe socks and singing the parts of the star spangled banner that i actually know...
Cake or Death??

oh say can you see blah blah blah blah and she sucked the president's cock blah blah blah where the nuclear missiles fall like pretty raindrops blah blah blah ...
see I know heaps just from watching movies ...
I choose death, no wait what sort of cake is it?

yellow, but you said death first. I'll let you go this time for if i gave you death i would have no one to give cake to.

and we all know you can't have your death and eat cake too

impressive play on words, not unexpected.

pardon me for being predictamabel.

I should have said we all know that you can't have a hog tied armadillo in the back seat of the car and expect to get away from the SPCA.

not predictamabel. I never knew a person named Mabel..., however non unexpected, though exceeding the normality placed upon him by the rigors of time, space and verbs. Your other bit was not unexpected either. Isn't it nice to be recognized for cleverness?? OR is it better to be waspish and unpredictable. What if instead I just shout a lot and roll around in the sand and jump up screaming "look at me. I'm vine woman." Cake or Death. i'll have the OR please?

arrr 15 whuppings with the plastic oar from mine and my little brother's inflatable boat we got for christmas in 1986. an excellent choice madam. this is not to imply that the cake and the death are not of the extreme highest quality. we specialise in cakes, oars and death, you know.

{sometimes acting predictably is the most unpredictable thing I do}

MMM...Si senor. zat vaz impeccable. Hmm.... no i don't really think your predictable. Not at all really. If you were i could just sit and type your answers for you all day whenever i felt the need. Which would make me INsane. Therefore it is only predicted that you are going to bludgeon me with witty remarks not unasked for.............POW ALA KAZAAM. You throw me off sometimes lizard. Now have at it and just bash me with the damned oar and I swear i'll never speak again.

you are talking to yourself I don't really exist except in your brain. I am the second h2g2 account you opened because you wanted to have long tangential discussions on all kinds of weird subjects and no one else would talk to you.

or maybe I am talking to myself. maybe we are figments of the TDV server's imagination smoking illusory ganja on a digital mountaintop in the middle of a fairy-cyber-wonderland.

cool.

fightclub meets nueromancer.....
a total possibility, its all a possibility, what the hellyfunk do we know about reality? ahhhh brain hemorrage, excuse me...

ah yes but then what do we know about unreality??