h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Who watches the people at h2g2 that watch us to make sure we're not spitting and being libellous? The people at TDV. The guards should be able to guard themselves by themselves if they think they're qualified to guard other people. Strange that a phrase works better in English than Latin, simply because we haven't bothered to develop a different spelling of the verb and noun.

What if no one actually ever watched anyone else, would this mean that they didn't exist? Okay, okay, that's obviously borrowed from...err, whoever it was that pondered "if a tree falls and no ones there, does it make a sound?" Marvellous that.

....Which is borrowed from "If a man says something, and a woman isn't around....is he still wrong?"

What about the people that take the tree-falling thing to the extreme by suggesting that the whole point of all the universe so far is to be witnessed and recognised by the human consciousness? If a tree falls in the forest and only squashes a Cartesian philosopher, a stockbroker and Margaret Thatcher does it deserve to be righted and re-planted?

Now there's a thought - large trees squashing your most hated public figures. But why stop there? Why not enforce this as punishment for anyone who...errr....just f**king well deserves it! Like the bloke who cut me up on the B4009 (for non-UK map readers, the B4009 gets me from A to B, so to speak, kinda windy and a good stretch to put your tyres, suspension, and all-round driveability to the test) this morning! Squish! Ha ha!

BTW, this is contradictory to my entry on another page where I slammed the writer for advocating capital punishment - this is different: this is fun!