Journal Entries
NaJoPoMoDay er... 8. : The Big Con Society
Posted Nov 8, 2012
I heard on the news this morning that David Cameron has announced new plans to give people six weeks training in order that they can be 'dementia friends'. They get a badge. At the same time, the Territorial Army are being pushed into a 'greater role' (which I think means- being shot at more) in the army, to patch up the big holes where the actual army are being trimmed.
I don't wish to mock or scorn the dementia friends or the territorial army. The Latter do, I've no doubt, a fine job and are courageous and committed people. The former are as yet untested but volunteering is something we do well in this country. This, of course, is what Cameron knows. When he announced his vision for the 'Big Society' he mean 'you lot do it, and do it free'. That's basically what he's doing here, make no mistake, he's getting rid of the people who have trained to do a job and have done it for years, and replacing them with people who are doing their best but are part timers and volunteers. This would be fine if it was a job they could get to grips with. Most jons, really, can be done to a decent standard by anyone with the ability to learn and the desire to really apply themselves, but some jobs aren't. We're all too lucky to have such a committed force of volulnteer lifesavers as the RNLI, we've no right to them, and the Government has no right to raise taxes, reduce standards of living and expect the blessed volunteers (who, being the sort of people they are, will always step up to the plate) to do the work Governments are elected and allowed to collect tax for.
So it's ethically wrong, it's impractical, and it's a politcal swindle. Now I know why I enjoy American elections. It reminds me that we'll be having one soon.
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Latest reply: Nov 8, 2012
NaJoPoMo Day 7: Power Struggle
Posted Nov 7, 2012
I love American elections. My first real taste of an American election came in 2000 and boy was it a humdinger. In the first place, I was 19 and at University and nobody could tell me to go to bed. I stayed up until about two watching CNN calling it for Bush about nine times and waiting for the sense that it was definitely all over before accepting that I had to be up tomorrow and that the result would be there in the morning. It wasn't. Anyone who remembers will know it took DAYS because of some situation in Florida and the eventual election of monkey man. Which brings me to the first two of my three POLITICAL QUESTIONS FOR AMERICANS:
1) Are all republicans huntin', shootin', fishin' red necked yee-haw dumbass retards? It's just that they do seem to have a majority sharehold on presidential candidates who can't speak in sentances or speak at all without offending only slightly less than half the electorate. I mean, even if I wasn't in the offended half, I would still take that as a good sign that this guy wasn't the right person to be in charge of the country. Tell me republicans- what can I like, much less respect, about your party?
2) It seems to me generally true that US Presidents who are more popular or respected internationally are more devisive figures at home- any trust in this?
So those are one and two. But my final one is probably so deep it's secretly shallow. Come on then:
3) As I understand it, America is a democratic republic. You have votes and a president. So- why the hell are your parties the democrats and the repubicans? You don't need these people, you already have both of these things. It would be like the two main UK parties pitching on the basis of us being either a union or a kingdom. I cannot understand this.
Meanwhile, power was also a big issue in my own life. I usually send my wife a text message at the end of the day, to ask if there is anything I need to buy on my way home from work, some small item she might have forgotten. Yesterday, the reply I go was 'power'. Odd. I never saw my wife as a megalomaniac. I suppose it's always the quiet ones. Turns out she wanted the circuit breakers to stop tripping so she could cook tea. She got tea cooked eventually, although we were plunged into darkness on about 4 susequent occasions. Thankfully she had managed to get through to the office manager of our lettings agent. The properties manager had been informed that the hob was tripping the circuit breakers a week ago, but she had informed the landlord and then sort of gone for a doze. Now the manager called out an electrician who should be coming round today to have a look. The americans have produced their big news and fortunately side stepped my feared result. I wonder if my flat can manage the same feet.
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Latest reply: Nov 7, 2012
NaJoPoMo Day 6:
Posted Nov 6, 2012
A couple of half idea rattling around inside my head, but I'm really not sure what to write today. This is my only time window, and I'm hoping to finish of my submission for next week's post as well, so I need to get a shift on.
Why are quilts the wrong size? Or is it just me? I don't think so, because relationships have been a staple of comedy for as long as I am aware, and one of the great staples of modern relationship comedy is the fight over the duvet. Why is this necessary? Can't they be made as a decent size as standard? I know you can get varying sizes, but I'm not giant and my wife is tiny, so surely even an regular sized duvet/quilt should guve us both ample quiltage on a cold night.
Which reminds me- they don't cover my feet properly either. If want to pull the thing up as far as my neck to keep the warm all the way in, I have to sacrafice foot coverage. That's can be necessary surely? I'm only about 5'10". How do taller people manage? Do they ever get enough coverage? Do they have to sleep curled up in a permenant foetal ball? I don't think quilts this sort of size should be allowed. Human rights seem to be all for people suffering real deprivation, but don't those of us whose only real worry is a warm night's sleep be given some sort of legislative protection by the UN? I'm not asking for a security council resolution to sort this out, I'm sure economic sanctions can be avoided if everyone behaves sensibly.
So that's my plea for today, people. Let's say 7 by 8 feet as standard, and you pay extra for more expensive filling material or greater thickness. Let's get this problem sorted- who's with me?
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Latest reply: Nov 6, 2012
NaJoPoMo Day 5: Not My Pie
Posted Nov 5, 2012
Some people might already be starting to wonder if I am not getting a bit pie obsessed (pie-eyed) after only five days. This after all my second pie related journal this month, as there has been talk from other players in this great game of themes. I assure you I am not adopting a pie theme and have no specific plans for pie related posts later in the month. However, I rule nothing out.
As it happens an entirely innocent question raised in the fallout from my previous pie journal raised and old grudge in my mind. What pies would be vegetarian? On the basis of name-of-pie-equals-person-who-eats-pie logic, I suggested rabbit pie as a potential vegetarian pie. However in reality I think most of us know that this falls into the name-of-pie-equals-person-in-pie category. Which, you see, reminded me.
My wife and I own a rabbit and a hare. This them: http://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=437841709607341&set=a.152804911444357.31712.107028026022046&type=1&theater
This was a photograph taken by a professional photographer in Eastbourne, where we live, to as part of a series she took to enter into the Eastbourne's cutest pet competition she is running. We were walking them quite innocently past her premises when she came out and invited us in to take part. These are pretty much what you would seem them in if you saw us out with them in mild weather. They have leads, and other coats for colder weather. They have various collars and attract widespread attention. I like to think it is reasonably obvious that they are, at the very least, treasured pets.
As I said, they get a lot of attention. Almost all of this is from people telling us how adorable they are and how someone they know owns one, and would we mind if they stroked them or took a photograph? They have been photographed more times than I care to count. Some people, and when I say 'some people', I mean almost old men, can't go past without making a remark about rabbit pie.
Why? Seriously, why? What are they hoping to achieve? Whatever you think of doting to any degree over an animal, is it necessary to make such a remark? God forbid I should have such high expectations, but is it kind? No, it bloody well isn't. I mean I know that they will not live forever. We have kept rodents of all sorts as pets for years and I am painfully aware of their mortality but I don't really wish to be reminded of it. Oh, and no, I don't it funny, thanks, old man. Would you appreciate it if I pointed out that you were getting on a bit? Well? Would you? Why is it different? It's just a bit of fun isn't it? Tell you what, we'll have the rabbit pie at your funeral, that'll be fun. Since we're adopting the brutal logic of eating the dead, it seems a shame to waste your remains, so why not mince them up and put them in some vol-au-vents?
Alright, look, I know I eat meat. You might argue that this slightly blunts my bleating demands for animals rights, but it isn't actually animal rights I'm after on this occasion. Shockingly, I'm asking for myself, here. It upsets me when one of my animals dies, because I am fond of them, enjoy their company, find them relaxing and fun to be around. They display such guileless and straightfoward affection and appreciation for the care they are given and they are so much simpler than humans. So look, all I'm asking is that, given I keep these animals as pets, not with a view to putting them in a pot, you understand that I don't like you reminding me that they will die, and that I would be a little but grateful if you could just act as if you had thought about what I might think, and that you were even slightly bothered by it.
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Latest reply: Nov 5, 2012
NaJoPoMo Day Three: How we are
Posted Nov 3, 2012
This morning on BBC Breakfast I caught a brief part of a broadcast on the campaign to abolish page 3 from The Sun. For those of you not familliar with The Sum, I should claify: The Sun is one of Britain's daily national newspapers and page three is the page they tradditionally fill with a young lady who is dressed for very warm weather and appears to be advertising herself as a well equipped soup kitchen for newborns. The actress speaking on behalf of the campaign made a very good point about how throughout the olympics and despite the near deification of successful female british athletes such as Jessica Ennis and Victoria Pendleton the biggest picture of a woman, albeit relegated to page 15, was still a girl in her knickers.
There are plenty of examples of those charming coffee table magazines you get which scream confusing and condradictory orders to women through their high-handed and rather nasty sneering at celebrities. Don't be too fat! Don't be too thin! Don't be too old! She's got stretches marks! She's got wrinkles! SHE'S NOT WEARING MAKEUP!
The other night my wife asked me why I am so reluctant to accept when I am ill, seek medical advice and take proper action. The reason, I explained to her, is that this is how I am encouraged to be. Women are supposed to be beautiful, and their big problem is that nobody can agree on what beautiful is because beauty is SUBJECTIVE. In that sense men have it easier. We have clearly definied roles. We have to be tough, stoical and unemotional. We are supposedly allowed to cry, but when does that ever happen? Does James Bond ever cry? Do you ever see him with his feet up for a week because of a facture? Does he EVER take pain killers? Pierce Brosnan's Bond once returned to his hotel after escaping from a nasty kicking at the hands of a load of hechmen. What did he do? Had a whisky. That sorts it all out. Then Terri Hatcher turned up, slapped him and took her clothes off. Sorted.
Perhaps we could all live with that if real women responded to our affected machismo but they don't. I imagine this is partly because none of us is a suave and goo looking and cool as Bond, but partly because women in the real world aren't as vaccuous and dumb as bond girls tend to be.
The lesson then, for today, is dead simple. We shouldn't look to the media for how to be, we should look at ourselves. Start from yourself, nick bits from other people who's character and behaviour you respect and admire, and be like that.
Finally, some of oyu may have been wondering about my rabbit induced wound from earlier in the week. I didn't put any more bio-oil on it, because I forgot, but it seems to be healing nicely, thanks.
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Latest reply: Nov 3, 2012
benjaminpmoore
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