h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I love American elections. My first real taste of an American election came in 2000 and boy was it a humdinger. In the first place, I was 19 and at University and nobody could tell me to go to bed. I stayed up until about two watching CNN calling it for Bush about nine times and waiting for the sense that it was definitely all over before accepting that I had to be up tomorrow and that the result would be there in the morning. It wasn't. Anyone who remembers will know it took DAYS because of some situation in Florida and the eventual election of monkey man. Which brings me to the first two of my three POLITICAL QUESTIONS FOR AMERICANS:

1) Are all republicans huntin', shootin', fishin' red necked yee-haw dumbass retards? It's just that they do seem to have a majority sharehold on presidential candidates who can't speak in sentances or speak at all without offending only slightly less than half the electorate. I mean, even if I wasn't in the offended half, I would still take that as a good sign that this guy wasn't the right person to be in charge of the country. Tell me republicans- what can I like, much less respect, about your party?

2) It seems to me generally true that US Presidents who are more popular or respected internationally are more devisive figures at home- any trust in this?

So those are one and two. But my final one is probably so deep it's secretly shallow. Come on then:

3) As I understand it, America is a democratic republic. You have votes and a president. So- why the hell are your parties the democrats and the repubicans? You don't need these people, you already have both of these things. It would be like the two main UK parties pitching on the basis of us being either a union or a kingdom. I cannot understand this.

Meanwhile, power was also a big issue in my own life. I usually send my wife a text message at the end of the day, to ask if there is anything I need to buy on my way home from work, some small item she might have forgotten. Yesterday, the reply I go was 'power'. Odd. I never saw my wife as a megalomaniac. I suppose it's always the quiet ones. Turns out she wanted the circuit breakers to stop tripping so she could cook tea. She got tea cooked eventually, although we were plunged into darkness on about 4 susequent occasions. Thankfully she had managed to get through to the office manager of our lettings agent. The properties manager had been informed that the hob was tripping the circuit breakers a week ago, but she had informed the landlord and then sort of gone for a doze. Now the manager called out an electrician who should be coming round today to have a look. The americans have produced their big news and fortunately side stepped my feared result. I wonder if my flat can manage the same feet.

I'm fairly apolitical, but I can at least give quick, shallow answers. Someone who's actually interested in politics and can actually explain things will come along eventually

1. No.

2. Isolationism.

3. They're just names

Thanks Amy.

One of my hob rings always trips the power so I now I keep a whistling kettle on it to remind me not to use it.

Deb

Does that work Deb?

It does actually. I have an electric kettle, but the whistling one was a gift so leaving it on the hob serves a duel purpose - stopping me using the ring, and showing my brother & sister-in-law that I liked their Christmas present!

Deb

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