h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Oi!

"ATE"?

Advanced Tomato Ejector.

Obviously.

Of course!

*piegone*

*he he he*

*Checks hidey clock*

*he he he*

Found you! Eventually...

Did I break the record?

Is Mr McWhirter coming round personally?

What's it called when you can't stand up because you've been hiding in one position too long?

You did.

Yes, Monday morning at 9 am sharp! Best tie and flip flops are required.

Hidingtinatious, I believe.

I'm not sure I've got a best tie and I lost my flip flops the other week. Do you think there's a tailor open somewhere who could fit me up for something bespoke?

(I think that's a sort of suit Don't know if it goes with flip flops though).

Am I really going to have to trudge round beachwear shops looking for flip flops in my Hidingtinatious condition?

Bit of a fusspot that Mr McWhirter.

You are aware that you get in under 'Most Tenacious Search for Someone Hiding on h2g2', don't you?

Some sort of flant costume. And a top hat, of course.

At this time of night? I think there's a tailor in Wiltshire that opens for half an hour on a Sunday afternoon, but other than that you might be out of luck.

You could fashion a tie out of cornflakes and Pritt, of course.

As for the flip flops, how about cardboard and string?

I do? All night I was searching. Not a wink of sleep.

Of course, you may not be getting a visit from Mr McWhirter if I manage to beat you.

Oi!

*screech*

Hang on: if by some weird coincidence you manage to escape detection for *exactly* the same amount of time and I just happen to find you after a lengthy and exhausting search *goes into wink and nose-tapping frenzy* then we'd be joint holders of both records *and*...

'Oddest Record-Holding Coincidence on hootoo' as well!

At which point we'd also be joint-holders of the 'Most Records on h2g2' record!

Which would also give me time to finish my tie and flip flops.

You'd better get a shuffle on. *Starts stopwatch* You have about three days.

*Stares at the twitchiness*

Is that a symptom of hidingtinatious?

But you haven't got enough hands. How can you hold all those records while doing Blue Peter type things?

Grow more hands?



Oo - here comes one. I can feel it coming. Any minute now.

Or are those just goosebumps?

They're not goosebumps...



You've got hands growing all over you!

Woah! I'm just a big mess of hands!

Wonder which one Mr McWhirter is going to want to shake?

Still, at least that's the 'what to wear' worry sorted out. I just need a value pack of 100 multi-coloured rubber gloves.

The researcher with most hands. That's another record. You'll be able to break the most postings record too.