Is this it, then?

I sit in my marks and spencer dressing gown sipping organic coffee looking around my home which is filled with teenagers, dogs and, sadly, rugby obsessed blokes. It's not that I don't like rugby, no indeed. I think any sport that gives men the opportunity to maul and embrace eachother legitimately is praiseworthy. You see, in my line of work as a practitioner of homeopathic medicine, I have learnt that there are many differences between the sexes and that most of these are unhealable rifts which both sides have to learn to live with. Take socks, for example. In our house it falls to me most of the time to load and unload the washing machine. The girls in the family take their socks off the right way round and deposit them in the basket in a decidedly unscrumpled way, the men, however, have an amazing talent which is to scrunch the smelly sock into a ball so tight and undo-able that I spend minutes (which feels like a very long time, believe me) shoving my hand inside them to straighten them out before they embark on the rough and tumble of a number 3 wash programme. However, the girls are really bad with bath towels. Why is it that girls seem to need three clean towels per shower session? Said towels are not hung nicely on the antique wooden horse designed for the purpose of drying them but are flung in a large heap, damp and smelling of cheap perfumed shower gel, bang in the centre of the lovely feather duvet under which they sleep occasionally. Now the feathers are damp and smelly and life gets a little bit worse. I, on the other hand, seem to be practically perfect in every way. Now isn't that a strange thing?

Having fun is probably the most imprtant aspect of life on earth in my view. If there is any way that you can schedule a little more fun into your week then I strongly suggest that you do so. Having fun does not have to be eating, drinking and making merry but can include sitting with a good book or banging weevils out of the wicker mats we think look so lovely on the table. (I have yellow ones - and that is a hard colour to match napkins to, I can tell you). Yesterday I had fun whilst sitting in temperatures below freezing and looking out over the estuary as the sun set. The really fun part was the champagne but I like to think the view had a little to do with it.

I have just noticed one of the men in my life scurrying around me tidying and folding washing. This is an excellent notion and one which I intend to encourage as much as possible. The other men in my life are watching extreme sports on the telly while the girls have yet to surface from their damp duvets. I wonder who else will surface with them. You never know these days. Let's hope the eldest has decided not to give up on the young man with the very wealthy, property owning parents in favour of the bloke from yonder valley who, good looking though he may be, has virtually no prospects in the "keeping his mother in law in the manner in which she'd like to become accustomed" stakes.

Ah well. Can't sit here all day. Must pour more organic coffee and look at exotic holiday websites in order that I can be made aware, yet again, that I need to earn a lot more money. Happy New Year to All.

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