h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

But see, if i go see a movie and i get the snacking urge, i just pop our a few maggots from my arm, dip them in the ooze and munch mucnh.

And it's not only a good idea, they're good FOR you.

Maggots are high in protein, don'tcha know.

They certainly aren't short on wriggleyness either. Nope. Get your daily dose o' that for sure!

I just chew gum for that, actually.

Maggots are slimier!

So you DON'T like sugar-free gum, eh? *makes a note*

Good. Yes, write that down. Also write down that I enjoy grape soda on very rare occasions and now that I've discovered salt-n-vinigar potato chips I don't need much else in life.

They DO, however, seriously stint on the vinigar in the states as compared to the UK. Write that down too.

*writes all this down in a separate, ominous-looking book*

*writes a few notes in the first book*

What I'm really wondering, then, is with your grape-soda-and-salt-and-vinegar-chips-intensive diet, are you really getting enough fiber? *proffers a 55-gallon drum of stewed prunes*

That's strange, cause I've always thought there was an absolutely sickening amount of vinegar on them... are you in fact eating the Lays variety, Krissy?

I have, in fact, tasted all kinds and they just don't have the mouth-puckering tounge-burning effect that they do in the UK.

Thanks Spartus!! *eats all the prunes*

*drives up in a dump truck full of Charmin, runs off*

All right. This has gone far enough. I want you two to clean up this forum right now, or no diner tonight. And i don't mean just sweeping everything under the carpet, i mean CLEAN!

*pulls up in a fire truck*

It's a good thing I'm good at stealing imaginary cars...er, hi!

*sets about spraying everything in sight with a high-pressure stream of water*

*ducks*

*gooses*

*giggles and gets soaked by the hose*

*races around with a sponge swiping ineffectually at things*

Looks clean to me.

Beer?

Oh yes. Yes indeedy.

*swipes at Spartus inneffectually with the sponge*

*dips the sponge in the beer, eats the sponge*

Mmmm, soapy.

*looks under the bed*

You missed a spot.