h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Coughs deeply into his diaphragm, and in his deepest most manly voice says, "Right, where were we?"

ack ack ack

Invasion of the Smileys.

Christ, I want that as wall paper!

A council in Cumbria has banned children from playing conkers in the playground unless they wear goggles!

spid

Well you know kids can be a little rough and we'd hate to see the shrapnel blind a dinner lady...

Do you know I can't imagine how the human race has survived as long as it has without all the petty rules and do's ans don'ts which palgue us today! Heaven only knows what my Aunt who was a headmistress in the 1930s and 1940s would have made of it all! She dished out the cane with viguor (sparingly and rarely I might add, which made the occasion all the more terrifying!), allowed all sorts of games in the playground, actively encouraged all sports (being an ex hockey player of note) and took the children all over the Kent countryside on "outings". We never came to any harm and all thoroughly enjoyed
ourselves. Pass the cotton wool someone I've just spotted a child unwrapped!


Disgusted from Tunbridge Wells!!

My hoover sucks.

Wow! I'd get it looked at if I were you!

Thalingulating cornflakes. This sitting around all day on the net really will not do.
spid

Thalingulating? My work sucks

I made up the word. I love it. It can mean anything you like. I am cold and hungry. I have been sitting at this pc for about four hours. I want toast and tea. Please wil you read Dream Confusion in my PF. I think I am going bonkers.

When work sucks just picture Trevor MacDonald. You will smile, believe me.
spidey

You need and a bit of!!
When things are wrong the word is crumtoik, but if things are Ok the word is Herdogrerneous! or it could be sarsbequosious
depending on how good they are. Things with me are kronikly crumtoik at present. But that's life. Full of downs and downs.

Robb

Batis eggsakly wotsits I fuzz prinking, Robb.

Bowheather, mime wis ommmmmm pee dipfried.

Tom

Mid afternoon. A chill wind blows through the cracks in the window frame. A woman sits typing with cold fingers, sending out vibrations in the great web of wyrd. She knows she must leave this room, this space in her head, this, other reality, soon. One more check of the e mail account. One more glance at her weblog. She opens her documents and flicks through a collection of half finished poems. The work holds no appeal right now.
Words spiral in her brain; a phrase here, a sentence there. It is no good. They will not coalesce into solid thought.

'Go,' her common sense tells her. 'Leave this idling. Go out into the real world, talk to flesh and blood people. Feel the wind on your face.'

Yet still she sits. Frozen in unreality.

Alison

That screen must be a two-way mirror Ali, I'm on the other side at work...

Boo.
My bath is still waiting. It's cold now and I will have to re fill it! Ah, see, you can't nip away from your desk and jump in a nice hot bath, rub yourself all over in gloriously gorgeous oils and bubbles and sit, wrapped in fluffy towels, having a nice cup of tea while you decide what to do with the rest of your day.
MMM, it's sounding like a better bet than freezing my a** off here in this little room.

I'll be back later, all clean and shiney.

spidey

Ali in the bath and oils and stuff

Sound georgously exotic (that looks wrong!) and I envy you. I've only got a shower - not the same!

Robb

Robb, that word looks eggsitingly good. Maybe it is defined as someone looking sexy on a map??

Anyway, I'm taking it, it'll be my mighty word that I'll flail at anything unexplainable.

Take that, you Georgously.
That's one for the money, and the georgously ride.
Come on Georgously!
Your days of being Georgously are numbered, pal.

Okay, I'll stop now. But, be warned, the Georgously flail could strike anytime, any place.

Tom