h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Last night, its was like the rest of this summer in britian, windy and wet, so much so that it took down a really old oak tree, this tree has been standing in almost the same spot for about 500 years, its seen alot of changes this old tree! So when I seen the damage to this tree i was quite upset, so much so i have decided to replant it, after clearing it away, so today my mates and I are going to cut it up, going to save as much of the salvable wood as we can, as we need a few picnic tables in the village, a few for the pub's garden, and fencing around the place, so all good things can come out of this tragic happening! And the rest of it will be divided up amunst the rest of the commoners for fire wood and the like!

Now here comes the interesting part, our village over the past few years has become home to familys that have moved in and commute, these familys tend to not work in the local town but in places like London so in pratice their not around in the village during the day, but this morning very early while Dave, Two watches and I were disscussing what were going to do, (its a bloody big tree and could be quite dangerous when were cutting it up) we had visitors, three of these away day office walhas, these people are so used to dealing with office employees that the conversation (if it was such a conversation) was full of a strange office speak, most of which we did'ent understand!

1, This premiture failing requires a focus group to provide full closure to the situation?!

2. "I'm going to harden my poisition, that we need a surgeon to fully exploit this so we can go forward!"

3. The appointment of a, project leader, team leader, overall project manager, acquired insight manager, ambient night manager and accounts!!!!

The *sniggering* by Dave, Two watches and I was quite loud at one point and they were quite ready to have a "In my office now" moment till Two Watches pointed out it was 5:31 in the AM and they were not required unless they wanted to help us do the chopping up of the tree later on this morning, then Ally arrived (the local landlady) who said breakfast in the pub was being cooked and did we fancy one, "and if you (points at me) could get a few eggs, we could have eggs with it, also she added "everyone get the familys and i'll cook for all" Dave and Two Watches and myself said your "on" the other three looked a bit strange at each other, so I said "as the overall aquired ambient insight manager" we should get our familys and retire carefully retire to the pub at around 8:30 for a breakfast, as then I can then supply eggs for the said breakfast! strangly everyone said yes....................... 56 eggs this morning!



RJR the living proof

and update later

Breakfast was fine and dandy, a nice fry up is what you need when sorting out a tree, we have been out and the main branches have been made safe, cleared away from the main trunk and were now ready to chop up these for fire wood, with a bit of luck will have this done this afternoon/evening and we can sort out the rest over the next week, and the "managers types" have helped out, pity that they have "lost" their ability of common sence, but nice of them to help anyways, so it's back into the pub for lunch

just finished the main logging for the firewood, kept some nice thick branches for making stuff with! and tomorrow will start on the planking of the main trunk, so were all baack in the pub in front of the fire waiting for a nice plate of egg and chips

it is rather sad when a big tree falls down like that,
I'm glad it's being made use of

all your talk of food is making me hungry though