h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It has come to our notice that, once again, you have failed to sign up to te new, improved London Autumn Meet. What's your pathetic weaselly excuse *this* time?

Yours, etc.

Reddyfreddy

*ahem*

I am actually thinking about it this time

But, as you know, Footbacon and I have a blood pact whereby we can't go to meets unless the other one is there. I have a doctor's note which warns of severe health risks if the pact is broken

On a more serious note - I'm not entirely sure I'm going to be in the country on the 21st. Some interesting work opportunities are looming on the horizon.

But, if I am, there's a distinct possibility I might turn up. Out of the blue. If Footie says she will too. Obviously.

Oh well, that's good then Footbacon has said if she can't come, she'll send her aura*, so that let's you off the hook.

RF

* Or a wendyhouse made from postage items...she wasn't entirely clear on this point.

Dear Mr. Sandwich,

You can't think about it. That means I have to think about it too.

I'll send the wendyhouse full of flants to accompany you.

Yours sensibly,

Feetbacon

Ooh, it'll be nice to meet you too, Footbacon!

RF

* Or your aura. or your wendyhouse. Or your flants. Or any combination of these.

I can send my wendyhouse of flants too!

They can confer on wendyhouse design and flant issues in the corner over a couple of glasses of mild then report back to us later

On the 21st?

I think I'm planning on being a wimp on that day.

We could ask the Spanish toilet rabbits to pop into the bar and play their latest piece to the attendees before flushing themselves back to our bathrooms to tell us the happenings too.

Now come on, buck up you two, pull your socks up. Stiff upper lip, 'n all that.

I seriously expect you to attend this August* occasion.

RF

* October, shoorly? Ed

You're a Dickensian slum landlord, aren't you?

Is that why you want us out of our houses on the 21st, so you can move gangs of Artful Dodgers in instead?

Yes I am.

So make sure you bring all your valuables and shiny things with you down to London, where they'll be safe. Remember, the safest place for large-denomination notes is hanging halfway out of a pocket of a loosely-fitting garment.

RF

Valuables ... shiny things ... enormous Roussos-style kaftan. Got you!

So...er...see you Saturday? With the shiny things?

RF

It's not looking likely, I'm afraid

I do have a note from my wendy-house designer

That's not a note, it's a loo brush.

RF

*points*

cowards, the pair o'ye

It's true.

Well, on my part anyway. I think Trin was under a bookslide and so couldn't make it.

I didna mean it really.

Mind you *puffs nails*buffs 'em* I *did* dip my toe in to the whole hootoo meet 'thang'...

I was just as cowardly until the great Gnomon asked me on my PS if I was attending. I wouldn't have dared say no *tremble*, speshul as they were meeting at the bottom of the road.

No mention here of Mrs B, the yellabellytoad who wouldn't come along to hold my hand. So I went all by my lonesome and you know what? Gnomon is the smiliest, friendliest - although I still didn't talk to him much too clever. Far too clever.

I have now decided that I shall 'do lunch' with Serephina (asyerdo) and Mrs B is going to attend the Spring Meet - at least for the afternoon, she says. So I think I'll go to that too.

See? Now we know they are not flesh eating internet weirdos, it's all ok

*deep breath*

I am thinking about the Spring Meet now. Really. I know RF's heard it all before, but I'm facing up to my innate cowardliness and he is going to get a drubbing

(Sorry, that's my internal cowardly lion... not RF )

And you were told to keep yer big gob shut until I'd definitely *definitely* decided.



Right, I'm off to the Forum to tell everyone about that time with the *mumble* where you *mumble* with the *mumble*

Silly moo, you were supposed to come stomping in and call me a liar Do read the script next time.