h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Ah, but that I really could get a gold medal at

(Though there are rumours that the Swiss Tea Tray and Gravy team have been experimenting with a new washing-up liquid formula )

Late tea? Me too - haven't actually had it yet. But it is lasagne!

Oh. No it isn't. It's spaghetti carbonara apparently. I thought I bought a lasgne. Hey ho.

I think I'd be a dab hand at sandwich toaster juggling. Not olympic standard, but I'd impress the staff at Argos.

I'm half watching that Bill Nighy programme, I've missed most of it.

Lasagne withdrawal!

I see, you're one of those people who sees certain words as something else. I see chocolate pudding as fruit all the time.

Chocolate pudding is fruit, surely? I mean, when I count up to make sure I've had my five portions of fruit and veg at the end of the day, sometimes chocolate pudding is the sole ...

Hmm.

The Stephen Poliakoff Tells Nighy Not to Gurn *Quite* as Much as Usual spectacularrrrrrr? I thought about it, but decided against it.

I don't know where this belly is coming from. I mean, I have plenty of fruit everyday. Hot drink of fruitlate in the morning, fruit digestive after dinner, bar of fruit half way through the afternoon, the compulsory fruit bun after tea and fruit pudding for supper.

Not sure where I'm going wrong.

That's the one. I can't remember him smiling in anything.

It's usually disguised as a gurn. Or a sneer.

Oo - spaghetti's just gone 'ping'

Your spaghetti speaks? Mine never speaks to me.

It's got the face on since I began neglecting it for lasagne.

It only ever says 'ping' though. And occasionally 'fizzle'.

Oo, you must give the spaghetti a go. Otherwise it'll turn on you Tie your shoes together whether they're laced or not - that sort of thing. Turn up in your morning tea, floating around going 'ha!'

Oh yes - there's 'ha!' as well

Oi! Have you nodded off again?



*Crack squad of anti-spag flants take up positions around Footie*

I'm awake, just a-lurking.

All right - stand down.

*Milling and mumbling and lighting up of flantciggies*

A-lurking where exactly? Anything good?

Flants! Everywhere!

Yeah - but better than: 'Spaghetti! Everywhere!'

*Pinches Flantciggie*

*Cough* *Cough* Menthol!

Just idly following links from threads, wandering through Personal Spaces.

"Spaghetti! Everywhere!" The tea towels will be going crazy!

Oo! I wouldn't do that - it'll spread discontent in the ranks.

*Sound of flantmumbling increases*

Steady, lads, steady - er ... free flantgrog for all!

*Tiny cheers*

That's calmed 'em

I've been doing a bit of lurking this evening too, but I've not really come across anything I shouldn't have. Where's all the backbiting and rumourspreading happening these days?

Terribly sorry flant lads, here, have some fruit.

I've not found any gossip either.

I have been re-reading the blu tak thread though: F19585?thread=383495&latest=1

You've either fallen a kip or are engrossed in the blu tak conversation.

I don't think I followed that one all the way through at the time - I'm only halfway through it now.

Might have to leave the rest till tomorrow

*Flants stand to attention*

Bless you, lads

Did your black paperclips ever find their way back home?

Me too. Must get some kip to be bright and refreshed enough to perform a Tim style happy birthday song in the morning.

G'night flants! G'night Trin!

The black paperclip appeared unexpectedy on my desk one morning, it was so shiny that I kept it to one side, away from the rest. Then it disappeared.

Blu tak thief!