h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Questions, Questions and the Idiots who monitor it

Posted Sep 25, 2003

My last message on the QQ Message Board was removed because it contained a obviously ficticious address.

Many years ago, the BBC employed intelligent people with a sense of humour, several of whom I have had the pleasure of meeting.

Sadly, this is obviously no longer the case and it seems that, nowadays, the Corporation encourages job applications from ill-educated robots.

One would have to be a complete moron to think that "Phoncorad Records" of "Aspidistra Studios" actually existed.

The moderators' actions show that they are either half asleep or incapable of reading and understanding English.

I accept that they were not around in the 1920's and may not understand most of the references, contained in my message, and that they may hail from deprived inner city areas, where the schools were appalling, but other people on the boards are more "clued up".

Thank God they don't work for Private Eye!

Here is the message, which was posted in response to one blaming the sound of my out-of-tune piano on the use of timber-framed [Eh?], reel-to-reel tape recorders.
______________________________________________________________________
Dear Sam

I'm not sure what you mean by "reel to reel". We still use wax discs, from
which the master moulds are made.

Actually, I recently discovered the merits of the electric recording
methods and have just persuaded my studio manager to abandon the old
acoustic equipment.

However, with each shellac disc holding only four and a half minutes of
sound, it is still terribly inconvenient to have to record longer works
onto a series of discs and sell these unwieldy, heavy cardboard folders or
"albums", which resemble concertinas! If only the Gramophone Company,
Columbia, Deutsche Gramophon and all the other large companies would
produce discs with music on both sides.

Work, to develop a long-playing record, is continuing in America and France
but it may be another ten years, before even experimental equipment is
available. Perhaps the latest "high fidelity radiograms", which have been
produced on the other side of the Atlantic will solve all our problems.

Yours Sincerely,

MAX CONRAD

General Manager,
PHONCORAD Records,
Aspidistra Studios, NW8

PS (SPECIAL NOTE FOR AMERICANS AND BBC EMPLOYEES) ON MY HONOUR, I PROMISE THAT THERE IS NO SUCH PLACE AND THAT I AM NOT THE MANAGER OF A 1920'S RECORDING STUDIO. NORTH-WEST EIGHT IS A HUGE AREA.

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Latest reply: Sep 25, 2003