h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

i dont believe you tried to get rid of me like that!!
fancy telling me to go away...

i see you've updated your PS.... very nice


so whats the deal? cant sign back into msn?

Nope, I couldn't. My entire computer refused to work until I'd run Ad-Aware again. Which is strange, since I had done it only a few hours before. Oh well. I'll keep it in mind if it happens again.

Glad you didn't worry.

You like My Space?! Yay! I do too. It's much better than before. What's your favorite part?

to be honest... probably you telling people to go away...
even if thats the bit i complained about
somehow it seems very you....

Why, thank you.

What did you think of The Rules? I'm a bit stuck for a way to enforce them.

oops

yeah.... the rules......... i dont know. i dont really think there is a way to enforce them, other than to refuse to talk to anyone who breaks them. but that seems a little childish...

Yeah, I agree. Can't really think of anything else to do though. But probably no one will break them anyway, so whatever.

Oh.....*Sees her name*.........And by the way..............

<>

oh! a ! why thank you! how thoughtful!!!


thank X
thats sweet of you.

i love hootoo, you guys are all totally the greatest.

Anytime.

But in all honesty......I have no idea how the got in there ........

But as long as he's there........He's all yours! What are you going to name him?!

Good Evening

A ! Run!

Wait a minute, what am I saying?

Please let me join your Army of Darkness....

It's not all its cracked up to be. What makes you so sure you want to be a part of it?

Well, let's recap:

You're immortal.
You have super strength.
You can change into wolves, mice (although I wouldn't bother with that one), bats, fog, and I think I'm forgetting one.
You have no reflection. (I hate mirrors.)
I'd have an excuse to live apart from everyone.
I wouldn't have to have a job because, as we've established, you're immortal.
I could use the other powers to rob banks for money.
And I'm sure there are other things that I just can't be bothered to think about right now, because I'm very hungry and I'm going to go eat food. Although I admit I'd miss being able to do that.

Now. Why /shouldn't/ I want to be a vampire?

Becuase you die when everyone else lives...Which isnt bad except for when the people you like die.
You may not have a job but if you dont the only way to get money is stealing... Being immortal doesn't make you rich...But sealing makes you immoral.
Eventually you'd have to prey off the innocent.
No friends. Very lonely all the time.
No eating anymore.
I'm sure the list goes on, but this is all I have time for.

~*~Becuase you die when everyone else lives...Which isnt bad except for when the people you like die.~*~

I assume you meant that the other way around. And since you're already a Vampire, what do I have to worry about? It's not like I have any friends.

~*~You may not have a job but if you dont the only way to get money is stealing... Being immortal doesn't make you rich...But stealing makes you immoral.~*~

Pish posh. It's not stealing; it's relocating funds from the property of one person or company to me. That's exactly what happens in any /paying/ job anyway.

~*~Eventually you'd have to prey off the innocent.~*~

But according to more recent stories, I don't /have/ to kill. Besides, even if I did, I could teleport into prisons and feed off of Death Row inmates.

Anyway. Ultimately, it's not really that different from raising cows to be sent to the slaughter now, is it?

~*~No friends. Very lonely all the time.~*~

Not a big change from my current situation though.

Besides, what gives you the idea Vampires can't have friends? Louis had friends. Lestat had friends. Jager kind of has friends.

~*~No eating anymore.~*~

Yep, you got me there. Can't have everything after all.

~*~Becuase you die when everyone else lives...Which isnt bad except for when the people you like die.~*~
"I assume you meant that the other way around. And since you're already a Vampire, what do I have to worry about? It's not like I have any friends."
Well spotted... I was... errrr.... Testing your reading skills... Actually I have no idea what made me type it like that. Probably one of those things where everything goes wrong when you try to do something while thinking of something else.

"Pish posh. It's not stealing; it's relocating funds from the property of one person or company to me. That's exactly what happens in any /paying/ job anyway.:
How do you figure that?

~*~Eventually you'd have to prey off the innocent.~*~
"But according to more recent stories, I don't /have/ to kill. Besides, even if I did, I could teleport into prisons and feed off of Death Row inmates."
Depends what story you read as to whether you can teleport or not...

"Anyway. Ultimately, it's not really that different from raising cows to be sent to the slaughter now, is it?"
Its very different... Cows aren't sentient. They arent "conscious." At least not as far as we can figure it.

~*~No friends. Very lonely all the time.~*~
"Not a big change from my current situation though."
Aww honey, is that true? You've always got me, although I dont know if that helps at all.
I feel like I dont have friends but I just have to make an effort to go out and see them.

"Besides, what gives you the idea Vampires can't have friends? Louis had friends. Lestat had friends. Jager kind of has friends."
Well sort of but not really. If you read the books you understand why Lestat made Louis...

~*~No eating anymore.~*~
"Yep, you got me there. Can't have everything after all."
Maybe it would be a good thing.
I looked at myself in the mirror yesterday and told myself I needed to loose weight. Then I asked myself why and the only answer I could come up with was because I did not yet look like I was dying of starvation.

Did you not get my letter? I did reply to you. Normally I wouldnt get anxious about it but due to the nature of your question I felt rather concerned for some reason.

"Pish posh. It's not stealing; it's relocating funds from the property of one person or company to me. That's exactly what happens in any /paying/ job anyway."
~*~How do you figure that?~*~

Well think about it. You go to work, and work, for so many hours. Then they pay you a salary based on how many hours or how much work you did. Relocating /their/ funds to become /your/ funds. All I'd be doing is removing the actual "working" bit.

~*~Eventually you'd have to prey off the innocent.~*~
"But according to more recent stories, I don't /have/ to kill. Besides, even if I did, I could teleport into prisons and feed off of Death Row inmates."
~*~Depends what story you read as to whether you can teleport or not...~*~

Yes.....That's true........ Even if I couldn't teleport though, I could change into a bat or something.

"Anyway. Ultimately, it's not really that different from raising cows to be sent to the slaughter now, is it?"
~*~Its very different... Cows aren't sentient. They arent "conscious." At least not as far as we can figure it.~*~

Sentient, maybe. But I don't know how you could say they're not concious. They walk around. They think "there's no more grass here, but I'm still hungry. If I go over there I can eat that grass." They're every bit as concious and reasoning as we are; they just can't speculate about Quantum Physics per se.

Besides, what does it matter if the human is smarter than the cow? Because he can read and write he's automatically of more worth than the rocks, and the trees, and the birds in the sky? Because he's capable of thinking on more complex levels it's somehow, inexplicably, "wrong" that he should be a prey species?

~*~No friends. Very lonely all the time.~*~
"Not a big change from my current situation though."
~*~Aww honey, is that true? You've always got me, although I dont know if that helps at all.~*~

Of course it does.

Never seem to be on at the same time as you though.

"Besides, what gives you the idea Vampires can't have friends? Louis had friends. Lestat had friends. Jager kind of has friends."
~*~Well sort of but not really. If you read the books you understand why Lestat made Louis...~*~

Haven't got around to it yet......

Anyway the point is that there's no reason vampires can't have friends. Louis was friends with the little girl vampire.

~*~No eating anymore.~*~
"Yep, you got me there. Can't have everything after all."
~*~Maybe it would be a good thing.~*~

No it wouldn't! Not remotely! Food is so delicious......

~*~I looked at myself in the mirror yesterday and told myself I needed to lose weight. Then I asked myself why and the only answer I could come up with was because I did not yet look like I was dying of starvation.~*~


It's very true though. You look great! I can't imagine why you'd think you needed to lose any; except maybe highlight your skeleton.

Now myself on the other hand.....

~*~Did you not get my letter? I did reply to you. Normally I wouldnt get anxious about it but due to the nature of your question I felt rather concerned for some reason.~*~

I did as a matter of fact.

But unfortunately it had mysteriously been deleted when I went to reply to it.

"Well think about it. You go to work, and work, for so many hours. Then they pay you a salary based on how many hours or how much work you did. Relocating /their/ funds to become /your/ funds. All I'd be doing is removing the actual "working" bit. "
Yes but in work its a fair trade at an agreed to rate. Agreed to by both parties.

~*~Depends what story you read as to whether you can teleport or not...~*~
"Yes.....That's true........ Even if I couldn't teleport though, I could change into a bat or something.
Would you teleport to come see me?"

~*~Its very different... Cows aren't sentient. They arent "conscious." At least not as far as we can figure it.~*~
"Sentient, maybe. But I don't know how you could say they're not concious. They walk around. They think "there's no more grass here, but I'm still hungry. If I go over there I can eat that grass." They're every bit as concious and reasoning as we are; they just can't speculate about Quantum Physics per se."
Ahh... but how do you define "consciousness"?

"Besides, what does it matter if the human is smarter than the cow? Because he can read and write he's automatically of more worth than the rocks, and the trees, and the birds in the sky? Because he's capable of thinking on more complex levels it's somehow, inexplicably, "wrong" that he should be a prey species?"
Yes. Or at least I would think most of us would say that. We're just used to being the top of the food chain. Or perhaps the answer is no but that it is morally wrong for a human being to kill annother human but for for a human to kill an animal.

~*~Aww honey, is that true? You've always got me, although I dont know if that helps at all.~*~
"Of course it does. "
Oh good

"Never seem to be on at the same time as you though. "
I know, I'm sorry about that but it seems that I'm at school when you're at school... Which worked before but doesnt work now as you dont have internet at home.

"Besides, what gives you the idea Vampires can't have friends? Louis had friends. Lestat had friends. Jager kind of has friends."
~*~Well sort of but not really. If you read the books you understand why Lestat made Louis...~*~
"Haven't got around to it yet......"
I like the word fimble! May I borrow it some time?
And they're good books but I still havent read Queen of the Damned. How do you know about Lestat and Louis if you havent read it?

"Anyway the point is that there's no reason vampires can't have friends. Louis was friends with the little girl vampire."
Well sort of but not really and it wasnt happy anyway...

~*~Maybe it would be a good thing.~*~
"No it wouldn't! Not remotely! Food is so delicious......"
I know but its too delicious. One day I will wake up to find out I'm fat because I liked it too much.

~*~I looked at myself in the mirror yesterday and told myself I needed to lose weight. Then I asked myself why and the only answer I could come up with was because I did not yet look like I was dying of starvation.~*~
"It's very true though. You look great! I can't imagine why you'd think you needed to lose any; except maybe highlight your skeleton. "
Thank you And highlighting my skeleton was what I had in mind but I like food too much and besides, starving isnt good for you and I already have problems as it is without adding to them.

"Now myself on the other hand....."
Now now now, as my mom says you must be nice to your little selfey self and not tell it mean things.

~*~Did you not get my letter? I did reply to you. Normally I wouldnt get anxious about it but due to the nature of your question I felt rather concerned for some reason.~*~
"I did as a matter of fact.
But unfortunately it had mysteriously been deleted when I went to reply to it."
Curses. I could send it again. I'd like to get a letter from you.

"Well think about it. You go to work, and work, for so many hours. Then they pay you a salary based on how many hours or how much work you did. Relocating /their/ funds to become /your/ funds. All I'd be doing is removing the actual "working" bit. "
~*~Yes but in work its a fair trade at an agreed to rate. Agreed to by both parties.~*~

Well given that I'd already be going to Hell for being a murderous, evil vampire, I don't think I'd have anything to lose.

~*~Depends what story you read as to whether you can teleport or not...~*~
"Yes.....That's true........ Even if I couldn't teleport though, I could change into a bat or something."
~*~Would you teleport to come see me?~*~

Of course, if you wanted me to.

~*~Its very different... Cows aren't sentient. They arent "conscious." At least not as far as we can figure it.~*~
"Sentient, maybe. But I don't know how you could say they're not concious. They walk around. They think "there's no more grass here, but I'm still hungry. If I go over there I can eat that grass." They're every bit as concious and reasoning as we are; they just can't speculate about Quantum Physics per se."
~*~Ahh... but how do you define "consciousness"?~*~

As defined by dictionary.com: 1. the state of being conscious; awareness of one's own existence, sensations, thoughts, surroundings, etc.
As put in my own words: The ability to think.

"Besides, what does it matter if the human is smarter than the cow? Because he can read and write he's automatically of more worth than the rocks, and the trees, and the birds in the sky? Because he's capable of thinking on more complex levels it's somehow, inexplicably, "wrong" that he should be a prey species?"
~*~Yes. Or at least I would think most of us would say that.~*~

I wouldn't.

~*~Or perhaps the answer is no but that it is morally wrong for a human being to kill annother human but not for a human to kill an animal.~*~

Humans /are/ animals. Terrestial animals of the groups Mammalia and Primate as a matter of fact.
Furthermore; humans kill other humans /constantly/. Some feel bad about it and some don't. While most humans are not canniballistic, there pockets of communities that are, and I'm sure they have no qualms about it. Plus I doubt that most vampires would consider humans to be of the same species anyway, despite the shared physical similarities. "Morality" is too much of a personal perception to make a good argument.

~*~If you read the books you understand why Lestat made Louis...~*~
"Haven't got around to it yet......"
~*~ I like the word fimble! May I borrow it some time?~*~

Certaintly.
*Passes her a bowl of spaghettios that say "fimble".*

~*~And they're good books but I still havent read Queen of the Damned.~*~

I want to read that one too. But I want to read them in order.

~*~How do you know about Lestat and Louis if you havent read it?~*~

I saw the movie.

"Anyway the point is that there's no reason vampires can't have friends. Louis was friends with the little girl vampire."
~*~Well sort of but not really and it wasnt happy anyway...~*~

Well she didn't try to /kill/ him, did she?
The point I'm trying to make here is that vampires can have friends. You'd still be my friend if /I/ was a vampire, wouldn't you? (Provided I didn't kill anyone, of course.)

~*~Maybe it would be a good thing.~*~
"No it wouldn't! Not remotely! Food is so delicious......"
~*~I know but its too delicious. One day I will wake up to find out I'm fat because I liked it too much.~*~

So?
There's a philosophical teaching that goes something along the lines of: "Indulgence is fine, but not in excess."

~*~I'd like to get a letter from you.~*~

And /I'd/ like to talk to you.
*Makes a mental note.*

It's been my experience that the best way to get letters from me is to send them to me.