Journal Entries
new discovery, at least to me
Posted Oct 19, 2003
I was looking at someones page and thought I'd leave a message, I saw a handy "leave a message" indicator and pressed it. I've never noticed the "leave a message" button until I changed over to brunel, maybe it was ther all the time or it was added in the last down time that brought the 'single sign on'. anyway, it took me to "get writing", I've seen that somewhere but never been there. I gather that it's a different community in the DNA realm. Don't realy have much to say about it as I haven't done anything there but it looked interesting.
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Latest reply: Oct 19, 2003
wheres a guru or a guardian angel when you need one???
Posted Oct 10, 2003
I got this little space in the bottun right corner that i want to put some words but the words keep popping up, seperated by the round badge. I dabbled pullquote but the words keep on appearing where I dont want them. If anyone has is eager to offer some advice, feel free to drop by my space and check the coding found in the 'buttons to press' pull down under inspection.
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Latest reply: Oct 10, 2003
The Shape of Space and the Power of Gravity
Posted Oct 9, 2003
Gravity is strong enough to bend light and alter its course. It take the light of our sun roughly 8 minutes to reach Earth. Light radiations are the fastest moving particle recorded in history so that means gravity is a very powerful force, so strong that it keeps the planets from drifting off into space. Gravity is like a string secured to the planets and the planets revolve around the source of the string. Without gravity to keep them in check, undoubtably the planets would just fly off in whatever direction their revolutions take them. The sun also revolves around a source of gravity as does every heavenly body in the known universe. Everything that has any mass at all is effected by gravities pull even at the outer edges of all that is in existence. Everything is drifting around in a vaccuum that is infinite. Infinity is endless and baffling idea to understand, the empty parts of the universe, that is the space everything is in, has no boundery. Gravity seems to have no affect on the ethereal body known as infinite space. In theory, if infinity was affected by gravity, the shape of space would be round or oval and would cease to be infinite. what, then, would be outside and beyond the boundery of space? Perhaps nothing or maybe something even more difficult to understand than infinity.
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Latest reply: Oct 9, 2003
chicken and the egg
Posted Oct 2, 2003
Post: 2312
A chicken and an egg are together in bed after a night of love-making.
The egg turns to the chicken and says, "Well, now we know."
Discuss this Journal entry [59]
Latest reply: Oct 2, 2003
Even more stolen goods
Posted Sep 28, 2003
Subject: Rules of the air for pilots
Posted Dec 2, 2001 by Mac (Keeper of indecision)
RULES OF THE AIR FOR PILOTS
1. Every takeoff is optional. Every landing is mandatory.
2. If you push the stick forward, the houses get bigger. If you pull the stick back, they get smaller. That is, unless you keep pulling the stick all the way back, then they get bigger again.
3. Flying isn't dangerous. Crashing is what's dangerous.
4. It's always better to be down here wishing you were up there than being up there wishing you were down here.
5. The ONLY time you have too much fuel is when you're on fire.
6.The propeller is just a big fan in front of the plane used to keep the pilot cool. When it stops, you can actually watch the pilot start sweating.
7. When in doubt, hold on to your altitude. No one has ever collided with the sky.
8. A 'good' landing is one from which you can walk away. A 'great' landing is one after which they can use the plane again.
9. Learn from the mistakes of others. You won't live long enough to make all of them yourself.
10. Stay out of clouds. The silver lining everyone keeps talking about might be another airplane going in the opposite direction. Reliable sources also report that mountains have been known to hide out in clouds.
11. Always try to keep the number of landings you make equal to the number of take-offs you've made.
12. There are three simple rules for making a smooth landing. Unfortunately no one knows what they are.
13. You start with a bag full of luck and an empty bag of experience. The trick is to fill the bag of experience before you empty the bag of luck.
14. Helicopters can't fly; they're just so ugly the earth repels them.
15. If all you can see out of the window is ground that's going round and round and all you can hear is commotion coming from the passenger compartment, things are not at all as they should be.
16. In the ongoing battle between objects made of aluminum going hundreds of miles per hour and the ground going zero miles per hour, the ground has yet to lose.
17. Good judgment comes from experience. Unfortunately, the experience usually comes from bad judgment.
18. It's always a good idea to keep the pointy end going forward as much as possible.
19. Keep looking around. There's always something you've missed.
20. Remember: gravity is not just a good idea. It's the law. And it's a law that is not subject to repeal.
21. The three most useless things to a pilot are the altitude above you, a runway behind you, and a tenth of a second ago.
Subject: A list of Murphy's laws of combat
Posted Nov 28, 2001 by tacsatduck- beware the lie
Small list
If the enemy is in range, so are you
Incoming fire has the right of way
Don't look conspicuous; it draws fire
There is always a way
That way is always mined
Try to look uminportant; they might be low on ammo
What gets you promoted from one rank gets you killed in the next rank
Teamwork is essential; it gives them someone else to shoot at
If orders can be misunderstood they will be
The tank is a monument to the inaccuracy of indirect fire
Odd objects attract fire. You are odd
Your mortar barrage will put exactly one round on the intended target. That round will be a dud
Mine fields are not neutral
If they're shooting at you, it's a high intensity conflict
The weight of your equipment is proportional to the cube of the time you have been carrying it
The enemy diversion you have been ignoring will be the main attack
If your attack is going well, it's an ambush
Never draw fire, it irritates those around you
When you have secured an area, don't forget to tell the enemy
Never forget that your weapon is made by the lowest bidder
Friendly fire isn't
Never stand when you can sit
Never sit when you can lie down
Never stay awake when you can sleep
A grenade with a 7 second fuse will always burn in 4 seconds
The enemy never watches until you make a mistake
Whenever you are low on ammo, you can never hit anything
The more a weapon costs, the further you will have to send it to be repaired
Interchangeable parts are not
The item you need is always in short supply
The complexity of a weapon is inversely proportional to the IQ of it's operator
No combat ready group ever passes inspection
No inspection ready group ever survives combat
Peace is our profession, mass murder is just a hobby
All battles are fought at the junction of two or more maps
Things that must be together to work can never be shipped together
If you need an officer in a hurry take a nap
Radar tends to fail at night and in bad weather, and especially during both
Tracers work both ways
The only thing more accurate than incoming enemy fire is incoming friendly fire
The effective killing radius is greater than the average soldier can throw it
Military intelligence is a contradiction of terms
Subject: Response in turn...
Posted Dec 29, 2001 by Santragenius V (The Great Outdoors: A800209
Essential Information for Men Who Want to Survive Relationships
IT IS SATURDAY, a crisp spring afternoon, and you're exactly where you should be: stretched out on the couch in front of a televised sporting event, opening beer number two, relaxed in the knowledge that the pizza you ordered is even now on its way. Nothing could improve this moment, except maybe a bigger television. Suddenly your girlfriend
enters the room and says, "What exactly do you think you're doing?"
Is this a trick question?
Yes, it is. The trick is that no matter how you answer it, you will immediately find yourself driving down to your nearest home-improvement centre, where you will spend the rest of the afternoon trying to decide the type of curtain rod that's right for you.
How does this work?
It has as much to do with the nature of the question itself as with anything else. Women are expert at posing questions that seem to have no right answer. Here's a common example.
"DO I LOOK FAT?"
There is no answer to this question that won't be interpreted "yes". "No" means yes. "Yes" means yes. "I don't know" means yes. "It doesn't matter" means yes. The briefest hint of a pause before speaking means yes, yes, yes. Most of us would rather take our degrees again than field this one, yet it may well come up several times a week. Your only real choice is to say no, clearly and immediately, leaving no possibility for any subtext, and making it sound like a widely acknowledged fact and not simply your opinion. This doesn't work, but all the other options are worse.
There are several other questions for which "no" is the only answer, and several more that call for an emphatic and unqualified yes. In all of these cases, elaboration, justification or any attempt to be funny is unlikely to pay off.
Consult this handy chart:
JUST SAY NO
Is there someone else?
Do you still fantasise about her?
Are you tired of me?
JUST SAY YES
Do you still love me?
Do you ever fantasise about me?
Do you like my hair this way?
Unfortunately, many female inquiries require more than a simple yes or no response. Some of them are more like riddles. Such as this one:
"WHICH SHOES LOOK BETTER?"
Typically you're already late for dinner when your girlfriend confronts you, with one pair of shoes on and another alongside them. This is no ordinary choice. It's a devious chicken/egg puzzler, the sort of choice that would lead even Hobson to say to Mrs. Hobson, "Whichever, you old trout!" If you pick the shoes she already has on, she'll think
you're trying to hurry her. If you pick the other pair, she'll think it's because you know you can't pick the ones she has on.
Some men try a non-linear approach and opt for a third, unoffered pair of shoes, but this is inevitably taken as either an attack on her judgement or an opportunity for her to attack yours. On no account suggest another dress. You might as well say, "You're fat."
This raises the question of why she's asking you at all. She knows you don't know which shoes look better, and she knows you don't care, so why is she trying to elicit your opinion? This is part of an ongoing campaign to domesticate you. As part of the same campaign, she will occasionally consult you about alternative table settings or new towels. In these two cases a disdainful and dismissive "beats me" should do the trick, but don't try that with the shoe dilemma, or you'll miss your reservation.
Instead, suggest that she try on the other shoes, then tell her the first ones look better. This lets you more or less off the hook, as long as you don't raise a fuss when she decides that the second pair are better after all.
"WHERE DO YOU SEE THIS RELATIONSHIP GOING?"
This could be described as an essay question, since you're obviously not going to get away with snappy little answers such as "forward" or "upstairs" or "I dunno". Another problem is that you and your girlfriend are operating at cross-purposes here. She wants a heartfelt expression of your feelings and an honest assessment of your future together, and you want an easier question. There is certainly no point in answering a toe-curling query like this one without at least a rough idea of precisely what it is she wants to hear. Questions such as this one are a category unto themselves, i.e. questions that should be answered with another question. See how easily some of the more difficult leading inquiries can be parried through the simple deployment of reflexive interrogation.
HER: Where do you see this relationship going?
YOU: Where do you see this relationship going?
HER: Do you think she's attractive?
YOU: Who?
HER: Will you marry me?
YOU: Where am I?
HER: What if I were pregnant?
YOU: Are you pregnant?
HER: Why? Do I look fat?
Whoops! We're in a bit of trouble here. You should have seen that coming.
Try a more surreal approach:
HER: What if I were pregnant?
YOU: What if I were pregnant?
At the very least it gives you time to think up a better answer. Some all-purpose question-answers include: How much is a lot? Why do you ask? Should I be? What are you saying? Does it matter? What's love gotta do with it? Are you talking to me? (Note: Are you having your period? is not one of these.)
Let's try a math question.
"HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU SLEPT WITH?"
Hmmmmm....Now, you can tell her the truth, unless the truth is more than 12, or you can have a guess at the number she's more or less expecting.. Like most arithmetic problems, the answer is a lot easier once you have a formula. This one should work as long as neither of you has sex for a living.
Number of people she's slept with + Number of people she knows you've slept with + Number of people you actually have slept with.
Add these up and divide by 2. If you round up to the nearest whole person, you should end up with a realistically healthy but not particularly shocking number. If the result is greater than 12, then say 12. Let's move on.
"WHY DON'T YOU LIGHTEN UP?"
This rhetorical gem is used whenever you express your disapproval of shoplifting or speeding, or whenever you go to a nightclub and spend the whole time complaining because the music is too loud and there aren't any chairs. There's no good answer to this one. You could draw attention to her inconsistency in this matter, noting that she doesn't like it when you act like a kid or when you act like your dad; then again, if you do that, she's liable to see your point and break up with you. Speaking of breaking up, how about this one.....
"ARE YOU SAYING YOU WANT TO END IT?"
Women, like lawyers, rarely ask a direct question, unless they already know what the answer will be. As for women lawyers, I don't know what they do, and I'm pretty sure I don't want to know. The point is, when a woman asks you this question, she knows you're going to say no. Even if you want to say yes, you'll say no. You can't turn the question back on her, because you have no idea what her answer is going to be. If you are trying to break up with her, you'll have to say no and start the whole painful process again. If you aren't trying to break up with her, then it's best to change the subject. Let's try something easier.
"NOTICE ANYTHING DIFFERENT ABOUT ME?"
Well, slightly easier. This question is of a piece with two others: "Have you forgotten what today is?" and "Have you been listening to a word I've said?" Apart from being questions that are easier to answer wrong than right, they're the kinds of things women say in sitcoms. They are best treated in an ironic post-modern context; i.e., just say what Ward Cleaver would say.
HER: Notice anything different about me?
YOU: New apron?
HER: Have you forgotten what today is?
YOU: Of course not. It's Thursday.
HER: Have you been listening to a word I've said?
YOU: That's nice, dear...
Funny, huh? Well, it's not your fault if she doesn't get it. If she wants a better answer, she's going to have to start asking better questions. Questions such as:
"HAVE YOU TAKEN A LOOK AT YOURSELF LATELY?"
This question and its cousin, the almost always uncalled for "Who do you think you are?" are ways of gently reminding you how much of a factor pity was in her original decision to go out with you, and how that decision could be rescinded if you behave in any way that cannot be described as abject. You probably brought this rebuke on yourself by mentioning that you reckon Brad Pitt is getting a little chubby. You're not really supposed to answer either of these questions. You're just supposed to apologise for your wanton self-esteem-having. Instead of apologising, just smile. Your manifold inadequacies as a boyfriend - nay, as a man - are a kind of revenge all by themselves. Next!
"DO YOU BELIEVE IN FIDELITY?"
Like most philosophical questions that seem to pop up out of the blue, this question doesn't pop up out of the blue. This general query about fidelity is in fact a coded inquiry about the extent of your fidelity on a specific occasion or occasions. Your response will also have to be coded. Consult this translation chart before giving your answer:
YOU SAY - Yes
YOU MEAN - How much does she know?
SHE THINKS - He's hiding something
YOU SAY - It depends
YOU MEAN - How much does she know?
SHE THINKS - I knew it!
YOU SAY - Why do you ask
YOU MEAN - How much does she know?
SHE THINKS - Swine!
YOU SAY - I dunno. Do you?
YOU MEAN - How much does she know?
SHE THINKS - How much does he know?
There are several more variations, but they're not worth going into. By the time she asks you this question, you're already in deep trouble. It doesn't really matter what you say, as long as you don't blush when you answer.
Let's look at an example that calls for more straight forward lying.
"WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT?"
She means, "You were looking at that girl, weren't you?" And you thought you'd perfected that trick of keeping your neck still and just letting your eyes swivel. Obviously, the truth is not the best answer here. We all know that the truth can set you free, sometimes before you've found somewhere else to stay. It may seem easy enough to answer this question with a cunning lie, but when men are caught off-guard, their ability to deceive is impaired.
Here are a few of the more common mistakes men make when asked "What are you looking at?"
TOO SPECIFIC: "The rust around the bolts on the handle on the flap of that mailbox on the Northwest corner".
NOT SPECIFIC ENOUGH: "That thing."
TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE: "A diamond necklace in that window back there that would be perfect on you".
TOO TRUE TO BE GOOD: "A see-through nightie in that window back there that would be perfect on you."
TOO OBVIOUS: "Nothing."
WAY TOO OBVIOUS: "That blonde babe over there with the big...I mean nothing."
Here's one that requires a little interpretation.
"WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO NOW?"
This one often crops up whenever some kind of emergency or seemingly insolvable problem arises. The part that requires interpretation is the mysterious "we" in the middle. This means two things: in one sense, "we" clearly means "you" - as in, "What are you going to do now"; but there is also a sense of "we're in this together" implying that you
bear equal responsibility for the fact that she's just dropped her keys down a grate, or that she stores her jack and spare tire in her garage so they won't get stolen.
In such situations you'll probably find that the only answer to "What are we going to do now?" that you can think of is "We are going to break up. Good-bye." Most likely you'll decide not to say anything. After which she will probably let loose with the rather ill-advised:
WHY DON'T YOU SAY SOMETHING?"
Whether you answer this one is up to you. There is only one question that you should never, ever answer. Keep silent, cower behind your Fifth Amendment rights, pretend you didn't hear, run away, whatever, but don't say anything when she asks:
"SHOULD I GET ALL OF MY HAIR CUT OFF?"
If you say anything, then when she does get all her hair cut off (and let's face it, she's already made up her mind) and she hates it (and she will hate it), it will be your fault. Even if you say absolutely nothing, the best you can hope for is that she will come home with all her hair cut off, stare you straight in the eye and say: Does it make me look fat?
You're on your own.
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