h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Too late!

We've got our spies in the skies
And a line to MI5
And a pocketful of files
With the finger on you - hoo!

RF

Scrolls through Library Records of Electoral Register for the Sheffield area....Footbacon....5 Names recorded

Mr and Mrs Footbacon

Mr Footbacon Jnr

Mr Footbacon Cousin

Miss Footbacon...HamandEgg Close, Pigend, Trottersby, Sheffield.


Yay we've got the address....let's hire a and make it a party her neighbours will never forget!!

oo, it'll be just like the Young Ones and Lil can be Una and Vestie can be Cliff and 2legs can be Melvin Hayes and we'll ride around Europe looking for Footbacon - 'Have you seen Footbacon?' 'Ou est Bacon de Pied?' 'Wo ist Fussschinkenspeck?' - and there'll be songs and St Bernards and everything...

Right - who's driving?

Yay, let's drive around aimlessly for weeks even though we know her address!

I'm on the bus - hell, I'm drivin' it!

All aboard! Stopping at Cambridge to pick up 2legs, any more requests?

RF

Not fair! I live too far away!

Don't forget to pick up Vestboy...somewhere on the M25 heading for the M1




Heey...Hadn't we better knock up... I mean let Serephina know!!

*leaps on the I've contacted a few drinkin buddies from back home, there coming up too!

Lady P...just put yourself onto a Northern Thread...we can pick you up anywhere then

I can't go too far north, I'll end up in Lebanon...

Cambridge to Sheffield via Israel...

Good job it's a magic ! (Hooyaa, the magic bu-us!)

Yay!!!

Oh, can we stop off in Lowestoft, Suffolk, to pick up a few mates and drunken sorts I hang out with there when I'm home? The Shoeman might be interested in coming, and scary will probably be up for it, and the Chef, and probably my Dad, Shaun, and the barman Oh, and via new Zealand, my mates just finished the job out there, so he'l probably be up for it

Can you pick me up now please!

But we are coming to yours once we have all the guests together Oh, hows abouts we pop over to France, pick up some duty free booze?

But I'll miss all the Carry On capers

Is everyone aboard the ? Where's Vestboy? Can 2legs' drunken friends keep the noise down at the back there, please? That's not a toilet, it's a window! Sheesh!

Right, North to Sheffield...ah, Footbacon, glad to see you're on board, how do we get to your house? Shouldn't we go via Wales and Scotland to pick up some of the other usual suspects? Are Serephina and Genie aboard? Why do I have so many questions? Can anyone answer them?

RF

Freddy have you picked up Vestboy?

I haven't found him yet!!

Nup, still missing Vestboy, Master B, EV, fords, Serephina and Genie. We may have to do a bit of circling. Anyone for a rousing chorus of "Summer Holiday"?

RF