h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's a beautiful world.

*Sends text to Gerald*

"Hello Gerald. Watch out, there's a kitten in a hat over there."

I don't think he's not allowed to take personal texts when he's at work.

I think not that my grammar is dead good aren't it?.

So he can answer it?

If I said, hurbeyfleeblegrotsnood, would that answer your question?

Yes.





































I'm waiting.

Maybe he's out on the pull tonight with the lads from work, all gittin' down with their bad pigeon selves an' ting?

Look! Look!





Catch it!

Right, kip time. Night!

Cat shit? Don't talk to me about bloody cat shit...Oh, I see.
Night then






*stares at empty screen*

Biddley bip di ding a ling a ding

Oo, a text!

'Coo'



I'll text him back to remind him when The Bill is on ...

Gerald not much of a talker then?

I'm bored and tired and unsleepy, what's your excuse for being up so late?

Pigeonese is a tonal language so with that simple 'coo' Gerald was able to express not only that it's a bit smoggy at work but that he'll be stopping by the pub afters.

Frightfully interesting that Count, I hadn't realised you were fluent in Pigeonese. So, when Gerald turned to me the other day and said 'Coo coo coo' was I right to take that as a compliment? A girl needs to know these things.



I really, really do need to find a job and fast!

Yea. It was meant as a compliment. But not many humans pride themselves on their accuracy of certain bodily functions.

Well! Everyone has to have a hobby!

Well, it was stated in such a way that I thought it was a speculative compliment, but maybe Gerald saw some things while he was away that he's not telling us.

I went to the shops today, usually my mobile doesn't work when I'm in that particular supermarket anyway. So when I tried ringing home to see if anyone else wanted me to do some pasta for tea, I wasn't surprised to see that I couldn't call out.

Had a look at my mobilee just now. "Inactive SIM".

I received a letter a week after telling Carphone that I didn't want my contract cancelling. It said it would be cancelled on the 11th. Sent an email and was told the cancellation had been ignored.

They're rubbish.

I'm on the phone now, getting them to activate it again. Plum heads.

On the upside, I made a lovely tea.

And I'm about to cancel my contract - I'm convinced it will not work and I'll have to pay for yet another year