h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

FootieFootieFootieFootieFootie!

Oo, hang on...





*deep breath*

Something incredibly exciting happened! (Well... a bit exciting). It might be a bit -inducing. Sorry But it's really a message of hope for us all

Anyway... finished work, very grumpy, had to go shopping for puddings and, well, you know me, had to go past the dooveedoo shelves and torment myself with things I want but shouldn't get (very grumpy indeed and feeling all a bit down and desperate today - work is just like that at the moment, limitless resentment and grumpiness ).

Down on the cheapo shelves, possibly a bargain... hold it! What on earth...?

The Royle Family, the whole thing, all three series and the recent special - for twenty pounds. I always liked it, but there are big chunks of it I missed. I hummed. I hahed. Eventually I caved and thought 'that's so ridiculously cheap, I'd basically be *losing* money (after a fashion) if I didn't get it.' As you do.

So, even though I shouldn't have, I bunged it in the basket. It's comfort shopping. I'm trying to do as little as I can (apart from Lost and Peep Show, obviously).

Got the shopping through the ping machine and the total came up.



It was a *lot* more than I thought it was going to be (this was a proper weekly shop, mind, lots of puds, but still waaaaaay more than my mental arithmetic had estimated).

I checked the receipt and, sure enough, the dooveedoo, when pinged, had come up as thirty-seven pounds and seventy-five pence. My heart sank, but this did make sense. The Christmas special was only just on sale for fourteen spoons on its own, for flip's sake. Just my luck. Blummin' typical.

Off to the customer services desk to get my money back. Ho hum. (It does occur to me that I should dig my heels in and insist on my rights. "You displayed that at twenty and that, madam, is the price I shall pay - I offer you a score of the Queen's own pounds and not a farthing more. No? Then I bid you good day" *stomp*).

The lady behind the counter has some difficulty getting the ping-plus machine to cooperate, but it's clear somebody has made a mistake and a minion is hurriedly sent off to gather the other copies from off the shelves before someone else is fooled. I watch to see what's going to happen. Is she going to open the till and return the 17.75 so that I shall have my shiny prezzie at the original price I thought it was going to be (oh please please please)? Or will I be returned all my money and go home dooveedooless?

She counts out thirty-seven seventy-five. Bum

She hands it across. Rats. Refund

And then she gives me the dooveedoo.



Apparently, if they make a mistake of this sort, they not only give you the product, but they refund you double the difference too. Which was actually a bit less than thirty-seven seventy-five... so I looked at her and she smiled and shrugged in a sort of 'hey, it's your lucky day' way.

So there you go - not only does the dooveedoo fairy exist, but she works in my Tesco!

And that's what happened to me today. Well, the interesting bits.

*schlurp*

I've got a *really* big ramble from Trin! The best prezzie ever!







*sits down with cuppa to read*

You've had the greatest shopping experience in the world. Possibly even better than a Supermarket Sweep with Dale sat in your trolley.

Where can you get the little slips of paper that supermarkets print their price details on?

I think it might have been a one time only thing, unfortunately. I don't think I'll ever be that dooveedooily lucky again

Though you never know... if you believe

I'll ask her if she wants to get transferred to Yorkshireland next time I'm in She can probably fly there herself

Oo - Linehan and Mathews on Partidge on Dave

Do you think other supermarkets have the same policy as Tesco? I could do a search of all the supermarkets for things they've priced wrong. It could take many days but I'm sure I could quite easily live in the store.

I had a ping machine mishap today but it wasn't anywhere near as interesting or good spoony as yours.

I want you to give big rambles more often.

Is that Arth'? Don't think I've seen him in anything before.

N'awwwww - I shall do my best in that case

Tell me about your ping machine thing *poke*

He does play a priest in Ted - when they're planning how to get Dougal out of the milk float? I think he's one of them.

I went to Wilkibums for a few things after work and went to the ping machines to spoond. The little girl rang them through and I gave her a £20 note. As she opened the till to get my change a little kid hopped onto the desk and started being pesky clambering around and trying to get her hand into the till. So the girl shut the till before getting my change out and 'cos the receipt bit wasn't working she forgot how much change I needed (£15.53 Hawk brain prompted her). She didn't want to ring it through again 'cos Wilkibums seem to have a cashing up routine from the dark ages so I had to trawl over to customer services so they could say £15.53, then had to go all the way back to the girl so she could give me change.

Is there a priest who's got a silly voice? Was that the one? He might've been in a different episode actually.

Cor! Top spoon refundables

You should have moved the decimal point along and she if she'd fall for it

Not really. That would be dishonest

"You're a mentalist!"

I'm always tempted to use their special machines that don't need a little girl to operate a till. But I'm scared of them. What if I accidentally don't scan something and get done for shoplifting? If it gives me the wrong change then I'll have to have an encounter with the woman who looks like she used to be a scary dinnerlady. So instead of having an encounter I'd poke the machine and they'd have to get a security man to disassemble it to get my hand out.

You decimal pusher.

You're jealous?

When was the last time you paid for a dooveedoo?

Yeah, robbiefingies!

Oo, no, I'm with you Those machines are just too damn clever for their own good... makes me nervous just thinking about what could go wrong. I want a human being to make things ping and then offer me vouchers I don't need.

There's always a big queue for them too. If something goes wrong then lots of people will see and they'll point and laugh.

And what if it doesn't accept my tenner? I'd have to cause a scene wandering around the other shoppers asking for a swapsie. Then a ruffian would push in and steal my place. The stress would be all too much and I'd be on the local news for attacking automatic pingers with toiletry products.

Just get the most expensive thing in the shop - a lawnmower, say, or a flatscreen TV, or, well, something smaller than that, but very very expensive - pass it under the autoscanner many many times as quickly as you can and then run out of the front doors laughing hysterically

Oh, that old trick? It's grand the first couple of times but after you get into double digits it gets a bit old hat.

*points*

See Dave? See who's on Dave with his amazing hair and small woodland creatures nestling in his beard?

*points*

See me? See who's gonna be in the same room with the amazing haired one tomorrow?

Ah, now, that really does call for a...



Cor, you lucky thing!