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Sub-Editing your entry - Sun Tzu : The Art of War

Post 1

Cyzaki

Hiya!

I'm your friendly, local sub-editor for your entry A1124722, Sun Tzu : The Art of War.

You're welcome to have a look at what I'm doing and make any comments/suggestions that come to mind.

smiley - panda


Sub-Editing your entry - Sun Tzu : The Art of War

Post 2

Cyzaki

Just one question so far:

"One of the best known editions is the 1910 translation by Lionel Giles; in 1983 his text was dusted off and re-edited by popular author James Clavell (Shogun, Noble House, Gai-Jin, King Rat)."

I don't really understand what the part in brackets is supposed to refer to - could you clarify this for me please, as if I don't understand it then other readers won't either.

Thanks!

smiley - panda


Sub-Editing your entry - Sun Tzu : The Art of War

Post 3

PhantomObserver

The part in brackets (and in the original, they're italicized) represents the novels and books that James Clavell had written.


Sub-Editing your entry - Sun Tzu : The Art of War

Post 4

Cyzaki

Right, well how do you think we could phrase it to make it clearer?

Maybe
"One of the best known editions is the 1910 translation by Lionel Giles; in 1983 his text was dusted off and re-edited by James Clavell, author of such popular works as Shogun, Noble House, Gai-Jin, and King Rat."

Or do you think it's clear enough as it is?

smiley - panda


Sub-Editing your entry - Sun Tzu : The Art of War

Post 5

PhantomObserver

I'm inclined to think that "as is" is just fine. Since the items in parentheses are italicized, most people would know from writing convention that it refers to works of the author. The danger in what you propose is an overlong sentence that reads awkwardly.


Sub-Editing your entry - Sun Tzu : The Art of War

Post 6

Cyzaki

Fair enough, it can stay as it is smiley - smiley

smiley - panda


Sub-Editing your entry - Sun Tzu : The Art of War

Post 7

PhantomObserver

Just finished a double-check. There's a bracket missing from the 'Nine Types of Ground' section.


Sub-Editing your entry - Sun Tzu : The Art of War

Post 8

Cyzaki

Too late! smiley - tongueout I've sent it back now! I'll see what I can do about getting it fixed...

smiley - panda


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