h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Only 'life' - and I'm losing. I admit to all sins but 'gambling' in any shape or form, is about the only one that I have eschewed completely. Life is a gamble in itself but, until you die, you are stuck 'in the game, and my one delight in having nothing at all, is that - although the chances of life getting any better are infinitesimally small, the chances of it getting worse are a tiny bit less. (alomost certainly not original).

Oh, that's one I'll probably lose, too.

Losing your life is the ONLY thing 'in life' that is absolutely certain. I supposed that I have 'hedged my bets' as to what happens in the hereafter, I have designed fifteen mosques, a church (done-up, altered etc many others, both Anglican and RC), as well as both a Buddhist and a Hindu temple.

The man with the scythe can come when he likes - I did knock at the door once but it was closed (A17901254)!!

Reply to cold caller,
"A competition I entered? Can you check that the signature was in crayon as they don't let me have anything sharp in here. Matron! There's someone on the phone who wants to take me away from here. Shall I tell them I can go?"

Funny you should post here right now - I remembered today that I should have got the confirmation that it is 'cancelled' - but nothing was delivered. However, there wasn't any mag, either, so I guess it should be fine.

I heard about a guy who sent back his junk mail, but put seventeen cent coins in there, which was just enough that it weighed into the next weight category, so they had to pay extra to have it shipped back to them. Then, he phoned up and made a fuss, and they sent him a cheque for seventeen cents!

BEG

I guess adding two sheets of Din A4 paper would have had the same effect.

Except you wouldn't get the cheque for 17p if you did that...

True, but then you could have used paper which was meant for recycling anyway - like other junk mail.

We don't get much junk mail here, and I've never thought of it as a problem. I suppose if we were wading through the stuff to reach the door I might feel differently.

It's handy firelighter.

TRiG.

Nowadays, you get more junk email than junk paper mail.

... and it's really hard to light fires with junk emails.

We have a national "do not call' list, but I think our time on it must have expired, as we get at least three or four calls every week trying to sell us satelite or cable TV or reduce our horrible mortage. Sometimes they tell me how much credit card debt I have. Guess there are enough in those boats that many don't figure out it's a shot in the dark.
They are always automated calls. Sometimes mom hangs on to listen, hoping she'll get a number to call and tell them to lay off, but that seldom happens. I wish I knew how to get back on that don't call list!

If I do get another live call however, I really want to try that bit with the psyco crayon signer.

I very rarely get such calls (usually they are from the book club I'm a member of, or from Brockhaus who want to sell their latest encyclpaedia), and there's hardly ever junk mail in my letter box.
Although I never got any mail confirming that the 'prescription' was 'cancelloed', the mag never arrived, either, so I don't expect to hear from them again.

We'll keep our fingers crossed!

So, I'm wondering just who actually answers these auto-calls and makes that appointment to install cable? Is there anyone out there so tender hearted that they don't just immediately hang up when they know it's a recording?

People like my m-i-l.

Oh, dear!
Could you convince her that auto-calls are most comfortable when answered by an answering machine; all being machines and so forth...

I have an elderly friend who almost never answers until she hears the speaker. When you call, the machine comes on and says:"Leave a message.... unless you are trying to sell something."

I don't think we have auto calls here, it's only that my m-i-l is completely gullible if somebody calls her and tells her whatever. She gives away information about her neighbours, or my telephone numbver to complete strangers on the phone.

Maybe you should try my friend's message on your machine!

We don't have an answering machine - it 'collided' with the modem/router.