h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Hello there, .

You have an excellent name, but I feel I must disagree with what you say on your personal space. It is the subjective and idiosyncratic nature of h2g2's entries that make it so much like the Guide that Adams dreamed up.

Hey there, and thank you, Snailrind, for the compliment (perhaps you can tell me the context of your researcher name?).

I have been meaning to rewrite that.

My first opening was so bubbly and enthusiastic that the reality of the site seemed to elicit a rather stark edit. I think that it has helped that I have found so many of similar hearts, who have decided to enjoy the Edited Guide for what it is and look to other areas within the site for less exacting form and for fun.

Thanks for reminding me to take some of the sting out of it.

"perhaps you can tell me the context of your researcher name?"

When I'm alone, I talk gibberish to myself. It was just one of the words that came out of my mouth one day, and I feel rather at home with it as a name. Perhaps because I keep a lot of snails.

"I have been meaning to rewrite that."

My personal space was a complete rant when I first wrote it. It consisted mainly of a list of things that irritate me. I was in a foul mood that day! But don't worry: I'm better now. Honest.

Hail Snail!

Hmm, now that raises another question. You 'keep' a lot of snails?

Perhaps, like me, it's not merely your mouth that lets loose with a little gibberish from time to time? (For proof, check out my UnderGuide entry 'A Guide to Woodworking Tools and Terms'.)

I thought that your name came from the LOTR series or some such. Glad to hear it is unique to you. If you like, I'll tell you how I came to create FordsTowel.

I own a population explosion of giant African landsnails. It's a long story.

I enjoyed your woodwork tools article. My father is a skilled carpenter and he owns many of the things you listed. Now I know what he does with them.

So. The name Ford's Towel. Do go on.

Oh! Happy to oblige! (Never really thought anyone would care to know.)

When the family first got internet capability, we created pretty normal name-based accounts for our e-mail.

After getting some exposure, and visiting some popular chat areas, we began to realise the advantages of anonymity, and the fun of an unusual 'handle'.

One name that intrigued me was the nom-de-plume KirksWig, apparently a fan of the original Star Trek series. I wanted to keep it as short as possible, and relate it to the Hitchhiker's series.

So, I bypassed ArthursRobe, and ZaphodsSecondHeadm. I briefly considered a Trillian name, but it got longish and many of them were unsuitable for the cleaner areas. I took one quick look at both 'TheBook' or 'FrogStar' and switched to Ford for my inspiration.

Viola! (intentional mispelling)

FordsTowel was long enough for sites requiring a 10-position name, not too much over the traditional 8, and just obtuse enough of a reference to be caught only by fans. (it also had the distinct advantage of not being in use ... anywhere!

Thank you for the kudos on the woodworking bit. Just don't tell him about me, or I'll probably find my doors and windows nailed shut by woodworkers that *really* know what they're doing.

Now, about the African landsnails; do you ride them, or do they get hitched up to pull a cart?

You talk like someone who's used the internet for a long time.

What, would you say, are the advantages to anonymity? I've been toying with the idea of using my real name.

The snails are racing-snails. Jeez, you've led a sheltered life!

Hadn't you heard? I invented the internet!

His again Snail,

Naw, I didn't really invent it, but I have been around since dirt was invented if that gives you any usable context.

Anonymity is a double edged ice cream scoop. Like all choices, it has pluses and minusses (and the occasional null sum).

Pluses are:
Minimal e-mail and spam, except when you want to more directly communicating with someone.
It eliminates assumptions, based on gender or ethnicity, in communications.
It lessens the likelihood that you'll be hit on by either sex or sexual preferenced person.
You are less likely to be checked for 'authoritativeness' by web-savvy debatists.
You are less likely to be hunted down for your opinions by the intolerant.
They're just plain fun.
It can show an area of interest that can generate pleasant conversation, like about racing snails (I suspect you always win, no wonder you choose to race them).

Minuses are:
Minimual e-mail, for those who crave increased communication with just ANYBODY.
Persons of your preferred gender aren't as likely to see you as romantic potential.
You eliminate being hit on by your favorite male or female supermodel/star/performer (granted this is not very likely, but it is a possibility).
You may miss getting reconnected with an old friend that recognizes the name.

Hmmm....

On balance, I think I'll remain anonymous. If I want someone to know my identity, I expect I could tell them privately, anyway.

Since dirt was invented, you say? That would make it around 1907, then. When the 'Hoover first blessed us with its powers of suction. Lettuce spry.

A wise choice, young snail-racer, (BTW, how fast DO they go?)

Someone just reminded me of a view of the universe that says it is all just void, with a handful of dirt thrown in.

Perhaps dirt is just a bit older than I, but I do predate videotape

"I do predate videotape"

I bet that's not difficult. Do you eat it when you've caught it?

When they really get going, fully grown snails can reach speeds approaching 2,400mm/hr. Sadly, the ones in my stable prefer to slither in circles. This doesn't exactly pay for their upkeep; but they're pretty to look at.... _<@o"

I never eat my dates!! Oh, dates (figs) I eat; Dates (dinner companions) I don't. And calendars, I don't eat them, too.

2,400mm/hr! Any faster and their internal pressures would blow them apart!

Wait a bit, let me get out my calculator ...223.93+326.478259-2934.-52.6/25374.65*2.793*498132*562./0 (wait, can't divide by zero on earth) 342.84+2.carry the one, 248 3.23-4.62.4*22%3.3.58 34294 . 27. 4 6 72. .235.

That's, uh, not so very fast; is it?

Oh, Oh! Now I know you're pulling my leg. 'Pretty to look at"?
Wait again, Hmmm, It's going to take some time to get my head around that one. The picture you included was kinda cute.

I'm a Pisces, and these are my fish.
<OOoo=<
>=ooOO>

All Hail the Speedy Snail,

I have re-written my intro piece, now titled 'Taking Stock'.

I hope it sounds more positive. Let me know if you have an opinion.

*Sigh*

Yes, it does sound more positive, but unfortunately, I've come around to the way of thinking you had in the first place! I kind of wish I hadn't influenced you to take the sting out of your tail.

Then again, your new final paragraph is compelling.

Got to go away and think....