h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Fantastic don't you mean?


Way Hay and Tantrabobs, by the time you are reading this, I'll be all revved up for me Grannymobile.

Hope its more fun than a fold up wheelchair... Doris, bless her brought one round for me(she lives in an old ladies'home, and they have a spare one lurking). I tried wheeling myself down the High Street.....



After 50 yds I had run over 2 toddlers, mis steered into the gutter and got stuck.... and found the local canine latrine




I was also too knackered to go any further under my own steam.....


You know the crack about the legendary strengths of little old ladies in black dresses?

Its not a legend Jack.

Nor is it an Urban Myth......

It happens!!!

PS

And what's even worse... is that when we finally got to the local supermarket, I couldn't remember if it was bread or milk the house needed. So I bought both, incase.

When I got back.... I found it was butter we wanted! - I'd forgottento write it down....


ARGHHHHHH!


Have a nice day. Will report back probably Wednesday.....

Check Argos or similar for a set of weightlifters gloves. These are leather fingerless gloves (think Lara Croft,or Vasquez in Aliens) and they look cool, babe. These, however, have reinforced palms and half fingers; They are ideal for any manual labour that involves grabbing, holding, lifting and shoving. Perfect for them what rides them there two-wheeled wagons. Stops sore hands, blistered palms, dog manure (that's a polite word for shit)etc. Life is easier with the right equipment.

On that subject, I am arranging a Samurai 'dochi'. a headband like Kami Kaze pilots wear. The message reads to the effect, "I am prepared to die and take you with me". It will clear the pavements if you wear it on the GrannyMobile.........



BANZAIIIIIIIIII !!!!!!

Dhaihatsu!!!


S*d the fancy, cool gloves...(haven't got the upper body strength ANYWAY - I've still got a grip like a steel hawser everyone has to have a talent..... Don't forget, I AM a trained masseusse....

I'm gonna walk! (eventually) It may take some time, but ....

Mind you... it was one of life's great pleasures this morning, doing a three point turn in the local building society,*
glaring firmly at a patronizing middle aged male(a) and saying "One crack about women drivers mate... and I shall run you over... clear?"


*(And we are talking very small building society here)
(a) the cardigan and golf club brigade sort of middle aged male


It is truely amazing how very invisable wheelchair users become, generaly speaking. Shame that that cannent ignore polite audio, tho....

Do I get a choice as to the colour dochi? The slogan appeals tremendously! You do make me laugh....

I am going to bribe son no 1 (Son no 2 is still traumatised(apparently) and on strike) to take some photoes. If I'm going to be "disabled" I may as well be stylishly disabled.

Result: I appear to be fairly high on the housing list (one floor dwelling).. PLUS... I now have my very own pigeon netting over the flat roof....

On the whole, a good day....

Knackering.

But Good

Keep smiling

Way hey! See you've met my favourite Ganny - I'm esso pleased.

"Not as quick on the wit as Evadne!" Good god, the woman's mad - she can juggle words and phrases much much better than I!

(I'm talking about you, not to you UG, so just blush quietly in the corner and be flattered... alright?)

Most of the last coupla days "activities" (hah!) are resume-d in the journals, I think. If you can cope with the back log, feel free!

Today was taken up with hurting firmly and thoroughly; ignoring it;, and being bludgeoned into exercise by Rita theSadist(Physio) who visited today.

And yes... I walked downstairs to open the front door to her.

Said I would, didn't I?

I have also been attempting to explain to a fellow hoo too-er how to communicate. Its an up hill jobby on that last task. I have the sad feeling said fellow member is beyond aid - which saddens me.

Ah well. Can only help some of the people a little of the time, I guess. At least I tried.

I'm having second thoughts about those fancy gripping type gloves Jack. Would they go with leather trousers and the dochi, do you think? (Add a t shirt before you go blind, naturally)

BTW, how tall ARE you? By my reckoning, you're about 6 foot 8!

Would that mean you carry an emergency step ladder?

Signing off at fivefootfive on a good day

Wanders on site, looks around, wonders if Jack has been playing too close to the Scorpion pit and meanders off to get maps, crampons and a rope.

Wonders how one uses a tracking devise..(and would I want to be that invasive!) wonders how I can pump up me battery every 15 miles without giving myself a hernia! Decides to trust to the man's obvious abilities (Which is NOT in the Bond handbook of etiquette, but never mind, neither are wheel chairs!)

Gets side tracked by finding a dictionary and looking up the word Edict

feels very sad that an apparently academically intelligent person can be so apparently emotionally stunted to feel threatened by someone as...naive as me. Carrotish, rather than naive, I'd have said. I think one stops being naive by about age 3, surely?

Ho hum.

BTW the last 3 sentences arn't directed at you - I was more thinking aloud....ignore them.

Having a bit of a job with pain today. It keeps getting in the way of thinking!

New contract means I am out of the office at the moment, logging in as and when. Not threatened. 6'2" since you ask.

Glad the scorpian pit hasn't gotcha!

As and when will be fine, no problem atall. Keep safe, and keep happy


Will be interesting to see how the sympathy goes.. I regret to say I am filled with an almost unholy glee at watching a mirror being hoisted.

F2060382 is your starting point. Entirely up to you whether you want to join in. It doesn't seem particually kind. But if a man wears a "Kick me" label......one either kicks or coddles, I suppose. I prbably should ignore, but I feel sorry for the poor bugger.

For all I know, it could be ME thats being the idiot.

interesting

... yes, but not very funny, is it?

was it 'sposed to be?

No.

It was a quick and apparently witty rejoinder, referring to the old catch phrase on the 1960s TV show "The Rowan and Martin Laugh In"

Don't know if you saw it....

the little soldier lad behind the bush saying

"Interesting...."
and some other charactor popping up and cappping it with "But not very funny"

Perhaps your yoof wasn't quite as mis spent as mine?

Hilarious

No... I didn't think it hilarious... it was just a silly little catch phrase.

Please stop being sarcastic and snippy. It doesn't suit you - and I don't deserve to be talked to as if I was not worth respecting. Save the bitchiness for those that deserve it, eh? Not me.

More to the point, it gets nothing resolved.

If there is something you want to say - just come out with it straight, please?

Good Morning, evadne...

Good afternoon Jack!

Just a quick whizle in whilst I've distracted The Mother by cunningly poring her a glas of wine.

How are you doing? Good to see you back!

Well, metaphorically speaking, its good to see your back....even if you've whizzled off again!

Keep safe

The visit from mum was surprisingly drama free; And she bought me a present - a rather nice blouse/light jacket-y sort of garment.

I was really surprsied...and rather touched, really. She's not generally a present-y or cuddly sort of person as a rule.

Anyway, she's got son no 1 - who's landed a labouring job - and his boss to go up to hers and landscape her front garden next week. Its not a big garden, but it does need a bit of taming. I think it'll look good once its been done.

So it was a good, beneficial visit for everyone - and mum gets to see Liam twice in one month.

A nice result.

You haven't whizzled off to celebrate your birthday without mentioning I've missed it, have you?


I would be most were that the case.


The least I could do was attempt to cremate a for ya!