h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

My, my, my you have been busy writing again. Finishing off another great story Lance and Companionship lives up to your great reputation of being an enigmatically talented writer.

Your writing speed is incredible, how do you manage it Lance? Unless of course you simply paste it into the boxes from your word documents?

If that is the case then I....

Richard H- who now has made a great Wally out of himself!

And dare I say? Good afternoon Sir Lance, keeping well these days?

Good day to you your Countship!

Yes, my method is to write them all up into Word and then copy and paste them into the little window. Although on occasion I do make a last minute rewrite in the window itself. One such occasion was on the 'Lord Mike's Season 28' story arc story that I provided, 'The Power of One'. The original bit, even so far as what I posted, was different. I made some very last minute changes to that one, to fit it into the 'Story Arc' a bit easier.

Amazingly, the weather outside my house has been quite nice today. But I haven't actually been out in it. Oh no, not me. I'm inside, sitting, typing onto a keyboard and looking at a dull monitor screen.

WHAT! Not out in the sun's shining warm balm. Running through the fields are sitting in a pub with a cool pint?

Oh dear, oh dear this is not good news. I almost expected you to still be at work in humid cinema somewhere but not out in this brightness?

Well as I suffer from hayfever I have an excuse but this I do not understand Lance?

As for your stories, they are without question- great such things to read. Have you ever considered compiling them into one big fat, juicy novel to release onto the British public?

I'm not sure big fat juicy novels are what the British public really needs.

Big fat juicy steaks maybe.

Or ice cream? Particularly Strawberry or Vanilla or even chocolate chip?

The heatwave apparently is still going on, it will go on for some considerable time unfortunately for me I am going to be confied inside until it rains. Pollen these days is the blight upon my life!

As for the book frontier- your stories breathe originality as do a few others. That is what the book world needs, new ideas to inspire and all that money can buy you steaks or ice cram? Particularly Strawberry or Vanilla or even Chocolate chip?

Hang on- did I jump a time track there?

Funnily enough, Strawberry and Choc Chip must be my favourite sorts of ice cream. Not too keen on ones with nuts on them though.

I'm so sorry to hear that you can't enjoy the weather. You're right though - I have no excuse myself. I'm just too lazy to go outside.

Nevermind old chap. Have a and enjoy what you can. There's nothing we can do in this life, is there?

Well aside from the fantastic, no. Makes life rather boring actually. Oh well there's always one dimensional playing God or as we call it- writing.

Though where you live, at least you can: I presume walk down the street, hop on a bus/ car/ bicycle and you're into civilisation.

I'm right in the middle of nowhere- the country has everything but the means to go out and enjoy life especially during Summer! Only three months more to go until I can go outside once more...?

I had a pint of at the pub not an two hours ago and by God I was suffering, not from hayfever-thank God but from 'Utterboredomtodeathitis' that couple who run the pub are horrible! Makes me want to stay in longer! And I've got to go in to the city tomorrow- hoy, humid, pollen ridden to talk with my agent.

If only we could remove pollen in the air?- Something we can't do in this world!

Civilisation? Well, it's here but not as we know it.

It can't be that primitive? They don't still sacrifice chickens to goat idols do they are shoot arrows at cars or hide from sunlight and gnaw on bones?

Do they?

If so you could make a small fortune out of a tourist trap. Lure them to your quaint little town and unleash this 'civilisation' upon them?


Either that or write a story featuring them, where he is saved in the nick of time by Intrepid Cinema usher Lancelot Bayliss and Little Nibbles from the Dalek invasion of Hertford!

Hertford does actually get a bit of tourism, mainly due to the preponderance of Tudor and sub-Tudor architecture. Many Americans, as it happens, always with comments like "It's so quaint!" and "Quick, take a photo!" and even "Where's the Peanut Butter?".

It's a nice place to be, really. The neighbours aren't bad and the sewerage system works. I can't ask for more than that!

Really? Tudor architecture huh? Well Shotesham has Anne Boleyn's hunting lodge or one of them and was the site of the first Norfolk hospital in 1756.

The few Americans we've had have asked us if 'Do we miss the City?' and 'Have you lived here all your life?' and more astounding of all- 'Do you ride pigs like we ride bulls back home?'

Though at least you're closer to civilisation than I am, we don't even have a shop just two funeral directors and an old peoples home.

And out in the middle of farmland- the nearest shop is five miles away. I really could ask for more?

Shotesham is like a sleepy English village crying out for an unearthly awakening but nothing ever happens.

I feel very bored here.

Good evening Sir Lance, I trust you are well this day? Tired? Put your feet up and have a drink and if you like we could discuss it over a cup of ?

du du duuuuuuu!!!!! sorry to barge in :o)

Hello Hurricane! There's a ... well, Hurricane coming through!