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Alliterative excuses
Icy North Started conversation Oct 7, 2015
I’m sure many of you will remember the 1970s UK TV sitcom ‘The Fall and Rise of Reginald Perrin’. It starred the late great Leonard Rossiter as the archetypal middle-aged commuter who goes through a breakdown after realising the futility of his life. How he becomes gradually unhinged is a delight. Rossiter excels, as do a fine supporting cast playing his equally dysfunctional colleagues, family and friends.
One recurring theme that sticks in my mind was how Perrin’s train to London was always late. When he eventually arrived at the office, he would, while taking off his hat and coat, relay to his long-suffering secretary Joan what was the British Rail excuse of the day:
“Morning Joan. Twenty-two minutes late: Congestion at Clapham”, or
“Morning Joan. Twenty-two minutes late: Frozen points at Feltham”, etc.
On one occasion he dictated a letter to the head of British Rail for his secretary Joan to type. It went something like:
“Dear Sir. Every morning your trains are twenty-two minutes late. If you scheduled them to arrive twenty-two minutes later, they’d all run on time!”
* * *
And so this morning I had that Reggie Perrin moment. The train wasn’t twenty-two minutes late - it was more like ninety-two - however the British rail excuse was gloriously alliterative. I give you:
“Morning h2g2. Ninety-two minutes late: Suicide at Surbiton.”
Alliterative excuses
paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant Posted Oct 7, 2015
Lemmings in Leominster.
Aardvarks in Acton.
Trees down in Tewksbury.
Road rage in Wrentham.
Alliterative excuses
paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant Posted Oct 7, 2015
Car crash in Cambridge.
Alliterative excuses
Recumbentman Posted Oct 8, 2015
Dam burst in Dagenham.
Sinkhole in Surbiton.
Apparitions in Abingdon.
Alliterative excuses
Baron Grim Posted Oct 9, 2015
in Ealing.
Which I should do as I'm just not familiar enough with _The Meaning of Liff_ to play this game.
Alliterative excuses
paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant Posted Oct 9, 2015
Levee breach in Leicester.
Flooding in Freiburg*
*as in Freiburg, Maine, which has the Saco River running through it
Alliterative excuses
paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant Posted Oct 10, 2015
Tip-over in Topsfield.
Jackknife in Jamestown.
Icy conditions in Ipswich
Alliterative excuses
paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant Posted Oct 12, 2015
Wuthering wolverines in Worcester.
Alliterative excuses
paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant Posted Oct 12, 2015
Turtles in road in Taunton
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Alliterative excuses
- 1: Icy North (Oct 7, 2015)
- 2: Baron Grim (Oct 7, 2015)
- 3: paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant (Oct 7, 2015)
- 4: Bluebottle (Oct 7, 2015)
- 5: bobstafford (Oct 7, 2015)
- 6: paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant (Oct 7, 2015)
- 7: Recumbentman (Oct 8, 2015)
- 8: bobstafford (Oct 8, 2015)
- 9: You can call me TC (Oct 8, 2015)
- 10: Baron Grim (Oct 9, 2015)
- 11: bobstafford (Oct 9, 2015)
- 12: Bluebottle (Oct 9, 2015)
- 13: paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant (Oct 9, 2015)
- 14: bobstafford (Oct 9, 2015)
- 15: Recumbentman (Oct 9, 2015)
- 16: paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant (Oct 10, 2015)
- 17: Bluebottle (Oct 12, 2015)
- 18: paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant (Oct 12, 2015)
- 19: Recumbentman (Oct 12, 2015)
- 20: paulh, vaccinated against the Omigod Variant (Oct 12, 2015)
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