h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Eylo Kay jay.

Lost nat ah wotched Brayffardt, wit te Mel Gipson, agen (naw Oscurs fer meh), an 'e akscents intreeged meh a wee bit. Kyuryuslee enuff, ah thawt uf Julian the Chinchilla. Ees zat rilly 'ow yoo talk? Uf so, pleez cunsiduh wurking awt an akscent fer O-eye-o. Tis plan English dus git rother bohing avter wile.

Thenk yoo.

I have what my mates back home would call a 'posh' accent now, because I got a job in a call centre in England and had to slow down my speech so that the sassenachs could unnerstaund me.

Mel got a fair approximation. Watch Trainspotting, that's authentic Scots playing Scots and written in the language (as well as being a damn fine film)

As far as the Ohio type accent thingameboab, I think you just developed one in that post

KJ

I know I didn't do the post so well, but Braveheart is the kind of film that leaves you wanting to imitate the accent.

I wish Ohio had an accent.

It simply doesn't have much in the way of a distinct way of talking. I know Britons, Scottish, Welsh, Canadians and Australians will insist we have an American accent, but it's extremely flat... so bumps in phonetics... no real color in the pronunciation.

I, on the other hand have a very slight southern American accent. I've got roots in Tennesseee and Kentucky - both southern states...

You could always try introducing the scottish accent to OchAyeOh

Just need to immerse the kids in that way of speaking, and the adults will eventually pick it up.

I Bet you make the most of your accentual difference to the rest of your state Mr Jodan that Southern Gentleman
(Simpsons Glove Slap episode springs to mind, and this is How I will imagine you speaking from now on )

I do declare...

Don't underestimate my influence on fellow southwestern Ohioers. Northern and Central Ohioers I keep away from.

The glove slap, eh? That might be an effective, gentlemanly way of controlling the miners. I'll have to think about that...

Glove Slap, baby glove slap
Glove slap, Get your polishing back


The Glove slap is a little old place where you can get some Miniiing

Glove slap babeyyyyyy


Sorry about that random burst into song, but it was an opportunity too goo d to miss

Weh eh.
Eh eh eh eh eh.

You want to say something there sirrah

Yeh. Eh...
Wheh? Eh, eh wheh?

Eh...

You staying this time?

You need to, eh?

I should rephrase that last part, eh?

It would be nice.

Dunno,

Just started reading some of the long neglected parts of the AWW and I felt the need to bring some writing up into the light


Not going to promise, so am not going to volunteer as a miner, just a friendly face helping out

You never stopped being a miner, KJ. I don't let people do that. In fact, you should probably have a badge!

Y'know, the AWW's been in a good place lately. A lot of good submissions. You ought to take a look at some of the new stuff to - a lot of it is really excellent.

I probably will, but I like trawling the depths, there are some absolute gems that just need a bit of TLC and a duster, that have been criminally (in the case of Redz certainly) ignored for in excess of 2 years. I got the lift down to the bottom and I'm starting the long slow climb back up

Leave the badge for somebody more deserving though, I don't need one. I think I'll just remain freelance for the moment

Aha. I see your technique, you wiley... erm, person.

Freelance Pitman, I see.

I was recently trawling the depths myself. Bumped four or five entries up, with the intention of motivating some miners into picking the best for the UG. They ended up in the CAC-C, so we'll have to wait a bit So yeah, bumping is a good way of getting attention for criminally neglected pieces.

Technique, I suppose that is A term for it


Well contractors/freelance gets more money.

How's things with Ohios most prolific writer and historian?

Yeah. The check's in the mail. We promise!

We're fine. Ohio's in a big smelly toilet, politically speaking. The plus side being we have a good chance of replacing it in 2006
And I got the Braveheart DVD, so I've been proktissing ma Brayffardt/Scoh-ish ocks-sent. It's not coming along too well.

How're things with the Freelance Pitman, sans kilt and light saber?

The force is still strong here, another padwan is expected. Bethany is a terror, a joy, a worry and my soul all at the same time, so she's quite talented.

Work is work, still in englands armpit. but hopefully will be out within the next 2 years.

Yer Scoatish accent needs wurrkin oan laddie if yur gonnae trry an spraff wi es.

And sewers, I think were a roman invention, I know there are some parts of USA that are quite... insular, but surely some sanitaion works would assist in the unsmellifying of Ohio?

Another? Great news. Or, well news for me anyways.

Aye. Ah now it.

Y'know it's funny... I've heard Cleveland referred to as the armpit of America. Nothing geographic or standing to logic, but I guess some people don't like Cleveland.
Doesn't smell, though, as far as I know. The capital of Columbus is the part in the toilet! I'll bring up sewers the next time the mayor of Columbus comes to talk to His Pooh-Bah-ness and his sheep.

Well we have a cereal called shredded wheat in th UK that is made in the town where I work that absolutley reeks the place.

I thought you or the sheep woulda been mayoral types by now. If Arnie can et elected...

Yeah, well we hold the moral high ground anyways. And how many people can call themselves Grand Pooh-Bah of Ohio?

Actually, about 11.3 million... I just decided I had the title, after all

Now you've revealed yourself! With a simple googling, I can find out where you live