h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

U227284 Hi I hope I am not intruding.
I have seen you on smurfles threads and a few others.
My heart goes out to you - you have had many challenges and crisis it seems. You are not alone in that of course.

There is a group of survivors of abuse - rape and violence here at h2g2. I do not know if you have seen it. We purposely do not advertize it a lot. It has been helpful to have a place to share the heavy stuff when things are rough. It is also nice to share a battle or successThere is a wide variety of folks. Most are 30-40ish. You are welcome to take a look and/or introduce yourself if you like. You would be welcomed ,if your shy tell them I pointed you there. Smurfles has my email and you are welcome to get it from her.

No pressure to go there, I just wanted you to know a spot was made to discuss such things. Do take kind care with yourself, you deserve it.

Hi Abbi

How very thoughtful of you to come to my space, under the circumstances.
I am very weary of men now, and very careful who i talk too.
But unfortunately i went and spoken to the wrong guy, and that person was Hot Rod Phil.
He doesnt use that name no more now, but he is just a researcher number.
I thought i had a friend in him that i could trust, but i guess i was wrong.
Anyway i don't talk to him no more, cos its water under the bridge so to speak.
When you said about this place, were exactly is it, is it on your space?
I did get councelling when i got raped, aswell as councelling when my nan and dad died.
I never over my brother, cos i knew what to expect if you know what i mean.
I hope you didn't mind me going on there.
Would you let me know where to go please, cos i havent a clue where it is.
Thank you again for your kind words, i deeply appreciate it i really do.
I will give Sal my email addy in email
And thanx again.
xx*NATS*xx

hi nats,my e-mail has been down until about an hour ago,so i havent had the chance to go in yet,dont know if youve mailed me.the thread youre looking for is the link that abbi has put in her message(in blue)if you click on to that it will take you where you need to go.chat to you soon,when i have got sorted out...everyone has just gone,so there is some washing up to put in the dishwasher,etc.ns salxxx

Click on the underlined blue U # in my first post. I will go over and check out the thread to see if you have been.
Start your own if you like under start a new converstaion or join any of them. If that link does not work, let me know I will post the longer version for you.

Hi Abbi and Sal

for not getting back to you sooner, but i have been enjoying myself with my new friends.
I am so happy being in h2g2 cos i have made quite a few good friends.
I have taken a look at the pages, and i was quite shocked to see what other people have been through.
I understand how they must feel, cos i have been there under different cicumstances.
When i got raped i got caught pregnant, and i didn't even know that i was, cos i was still having my menstrual cycle.
I had a daughter but i gave her away, cos i felt she didn't belong to me.
But now i am trying to track her down, cos i feel that part of my life is missing, i hope you know what i mean.
She will be 9 years of age now, and i am wondering what she look like.
I'm for rabbiting on, but i had to get it off my chest.
I would like to say thank you very much to the pair of you, for putting up with all my moaning.
I might start a conversation how i feel, but not just yet cos i don't know what to say.
Anyway i would like to say thank you for all your help, and i deeply appreciate it with all my
Anyway i will go for now cos my conversations need me lol
Hope to hear from the pair of you real soon.
So take care cos i care.
Lots of love going your way to the pair of you.
xx*NATS*xx

Good Luck finding your daughter.
I hope she has good parents whom will send you a picture real soon.

I think it would be terribly difficult to go through what you did.
I am on the other side of adoption but hold no ill feelings for you having given up your child. It is the toughest of circumstances

My ears are avaiable anytime.
I come and go quickly but always get to my posts.

The group is very informal and we have a mood of our own as far as being there for the best and worst of times.
Someone is always at their best and someone at their worst.
They are all very special and gentle folks.

There is only ONE rule is to warn by saying *Triggers*
before describing any intense event -violence for the emotional preparation or avoidance if it is too painful at any given time.

Thanks for writing if it is not good timing ever for the topic-no need to apologize. I am a patient person.

Hi Abbie

for understanding me, you are a godsend
I had a bit of bother on Saturday over a user on here, his name is Phil Brookside from Liverpool aswell.
He really has hurt me real bad, he left me stranded in a market in his neck of the woods.
Broadway Market i met him with his mum, and we got on well.
I don't know why he done this, but i am really depressed over it.
I was worse than this on the way home, cos i even passed out on the bus.
I really hope you don't me telling you this, but i want to cos i need to tell people to be aware of.
Well i was in his neck of the woods, called Norris Green, but we met in a cafe in Broadway Market.
We were chatting and having a good chat, we really got on well so to speak.
Well anyway his mum was eating 2 sausage buttys, and having a cup of while me and Phil had a cup of tea.
We were chatting as if we knew each other for years, we even share the same intersts as each other, and to spook it all up, he even likes Stephen King aswell as me.
He likes a bit of romance aswelll as me, but i would like to go slow.
Anyway back to what i was saying, well i asked him where the toilets were he pointed to them around the corner.
So i gets up and goes to the toilet, but it was horrid so i didn't go.
When i got back to the cafe, he had gone but his mums toast was still there, aswell as the s and as well as a glass of water what was mine.
I didn't know what to do, so i just stayed there for quite some time to see if they had gone round the market.
But no they didn't show up, so i went outside and waited.
They still hadn't shown up, so i asked was there another entrance to get in and out, and she said no there isn't.
So i think that he got scared in case i will do the same as the other girls, that has been in his life.
But i have told him that i wouldn't, cos i wouldn't hurt a fly.
Anyway it really hurt me you know, i have passed the crying stage, i am now on the anger stage now lol
for saying good luck on finding my daughter, it was very sweet of you.
I hope that one day that we will me up real soon, and if she is i am going to take her to Disney Land in Florida.
I will save and save with all the money i can get, cos i have missed out of her life for 9 solid years.
Oh dear i am starting to cry now lol
What am i like hey, i know a wally lol
I would like to thank you for waiting patiently, cos i havent had the guts to say how i felt since Saturday, oh aswell as everything aswell.
I feel such a fool Abbie i really do, cos i must have looked a right dope standing around waiting for him.
Oh well like i said the crying stage has gone now, there is just the question i would like to know.
Well it would have to be WHY?????
Why did you leave me like that Phil, if you ever read this, feel bitter towards you now.
So please don't ever bother to email me, text me, or even ring me, cos i don't trust you no more.
I am Abbie i had to get that off my chest, and do you know something i feel a lot better now lol
Oh Abbie i had to give her up, cos i felt as if she didn't belong to me at all, but only his alien.
I know that sounds terrible now, but thats's how i felt, i also felt cheap and nasty.
And now i am so excited that one day i will meet her, and that day can't come quick enough.
Anyway Abbie i think i have posted a rather large posing, so i will go for now and hope to speak soon
You take care cos i care too.
Lot's of love going your way.
xx*NATS*xx

hiya nats,i dont know..you do get yourself in some states.just try and calm down,and put it down to experience.i know you wont let it happen again,and if phil has a good reason,let him try and explain to you.i'll chat to you soon,having loads of probs with the system just now.take care,ns salxxxx

Hi Sal

If he was man enough, he would have text me, or ring me, and even emailed me.
But he hasn't and i really want to know the reason why.
I think he is ignoring me now, but i don't like that.
And now that other one is on the scene, hes just as bad.
He is really getting on my nerves, and one day i am going to crack up lol
Or do you think i am crackers anyway, well Carol knows the truth just ask her lmao
I am still keeping my spirits up, and i am trying not to get to me.
Thanx Sal for all your support aswell as Abbies, you have all been a godsend just like my best friend Carol.
She has been there since it all began, cos i phoned her as soon as i got home.
Anyway i will love you and leave you, sending you all kisses too
So you all take care cos i care.
xx*NATS*xx
z and s too.

That was an awful rude and uncalled for way to treat someone - being left like that! His Mother has no manners either if that is the case! I could see if some freak thing happened but surely he'd be telling you about it as soon as possible! He could have left word with the shop keeper at least.

If something odd happens real soon like that I always says to myself Thank Goodness there was no wasted time finding out what a jerk someone can be.

Oh Abbi

It was awful to be left like that, it really hurt me bad style.
I thought he wouldn't have done anything like that, oh but he did and he has really hurt me deep inside.
When i read your message aswell as Sal's, well i thought to my self, what caring people you both are.
I feel such a fool Abbi i really do, aswell as making an idiot of myself for just standing waiting there for him.
I can't understand why he done it, cos we were getting on so well, even his mum was brilliant to get on with aswell.
Do you think i was a fool, for letting him do that?
Please let me know, cos i need to know, i really really do.
Oh Abbi i never seem to get good luck at all, i always seem to get the bad, and it's so frustrating aswell.
I am back with Stuart now, and we have seemed to be getting on much better aswell.
We have postponed our wedding now until the year 2006, cos i want to to have a slow relationship now.
Oh well i have been rabbiting on here again, so i will go for now and hope to chat soon.
Take care the pair of you, and again for letting me bend your ears.
I hope i didn't hurt them too much lol
Anyway i will love you and leave you
Lots of love going to the pair of you.
xx*NATS*xx

hi nats,if you cnt bend your friends ears ,who's can you????i wouldnt feel bad at all,i cant understand why phil did what he did,it wasnt a very nice thing to do.i arent saying for one minute that you didnt get along,but even if you hadnt ,he could have just not arranged to meet you again,or told you that it wasnt a good idea.as abbi says,at least you found out now,rather than later!!chat to you soon,and stop worrying!!ns salxxxx

Oh Sal

It was a horrid thing to do yeah, but i will never ever trust him again.
I don't want to know him no more, cos i emailed him again today but got no response.
Sal you have seen him on one of your threads, just how we use to get on there.
So i really cant understand him at all, if you see what i mean.
I have told all my friends on here, to come and take a look at this thread to see what they would say, and i got the response i was looking for.
I know now what he lis like cos i have had the experience, but i will never ever trust him again.
Oh Sal i am for all this babbling, and i am grateful for letting me bend your ears yet again.
But he was going to take me to his house aswell, so that we could have dinner with his mum aswell as himself.
We had it all arranged that day, and he said that he was going to show me around the market aswell.
But i guess he never and i don't think he ever tended too either, the little too face er.
Anyway Sal i will have to go for my cousin is home, and most probably need help with his carry out.
So you take care cos i care
Lots of love going your way.
xx*NATS*xx

You most certainly are not a fool!
It is not fool hardy to like someone or to believe what they say or to like it.

It would only be foolish to allow it to happen again or to accept fault without any explanation or reasoning on his part.

It was very selfish and imature of him to not explain further and apologize whatever the reason.

It is not too late , he could still be a gentleman of sorts and do so now. Better late than never.

Hi Abbi

So you are saying that i am not a fool, but i feel like one and a mighty big aswell.
I just wish that he would get in touch with me, and explain himself to me to tell me what i want to hear.
But he hasn't and it's getting frustrating, not knowing why he done it in the first place.
Oh i wont make that mistake again, no way will i ever trust another man in my life that is a stranger to me.
I have made up with the other Phil, that use to be called HOTROD, and i hope that we stay friends and not enemys.
Life is too short to fall out with these days, cos you don't know what's around the corner for you.
Oh well i think i have bent your ears long enough again, so i will go for now, and hope to hear from you and Sal real soon.
So you take care cos i care and love the pair of you.
Lots of love going your way always, cos the pair of you are dear freinds to me now.
Oh well catch you both later, so be good until i need you both again lol
xx*NATS*xx

Hi Annette

This is the thread i was on about, i hope that you read it all.
xx*NATS*xx

hi nats
thanks 4 finding this thread 4 me,this is one that i wont b making u laugh at....
i'm nearl crying after reading what u went through,n i thought what i had gone through was bad,but i know there r ppl out there that have been through more than me n i hope they get the help they need 2 move on with there lives.....
i hope u find ur daughter n that she understands why u had 2 let her go,its not an easey thing 2 do,u we're very brave n r showing how brave u r now coming 2 turems with what happend 2 u.....
i have been talking 2 brookside n was shoked 2 hear what he did 2 u,u did not deserv that n he should have been intouch 2 let u know why he did that 2 u,dont beat urself up about it,it was not ur fault.....
thanks again 4 finding this thread 4 me it was very intresting..t/c of urself nats n chat soon Annette

Hi Annette

Thank you for what you have said, that was so kind of you.
I have seen you talking to him, cos it was on my space.
With you being on my list of friends, it automatically comes on my space.
So i hope that you take note, and not to ever chat to him again.
It was a very nasty thing he did, and i will never ever forgive him.
Cos it hurt like hell i can tell you, cos i didn't deserve it at all.
My daughter will be nine now, so i can't wait to see what she looks like now.
I just hope that she accepts me in her life, cos i love her so much.
I use to feel like she didn't belong to me, so when i tell her i hope that she understands.
Anyway Annette i am going to do one more posting, and then i am going to bed.
So you take care cos i care
xx*NATS*xx

i will delet the thread with brookside n take his name off my list,that was not a very nice thing 2 do 2 anyone
just take things slow with ur daughter,she might or might not understand at her age what it was like 4 u,the feelings u we're going through at the time with what had happend 2 u,plus u dont know how it will afect her 2 find out just how she came about if she does not already know,she might think that u we're 2 young n could not cope like a lot of mothers that have 2 give there children up,so please take ur time i would not like 2 see u get hurt again...with lots of going ur way Annette xxx

Hi Annette

Thank you ever so much for your kind word's yet again, you are more than just a friend now.
So you are going to delete your name from his list of friends, aswell as unsubscribing from his thread.
Well i don't blame you really, cos he is not worth talking to him at all.
Oh i will go slow with my daughter, cos i don't want to push her away before i meet her.
I am so looking forward to see her, and i hope she accepts me of who i am, (seizures and all)
I thought at first that she was an alien, i just couldn't bring myself to hold her at all.
I didn't want to bond with a child, that didn't belong at all.
I hope that she realises that i done it for the best, and i also hope that she will forgive me.
I will take my time with her, and hope that she does the same with me.
for listening Annette, you are a in my eyes.
Anyway there's suppose to be a meeting with the wallies, and i don't know where it is.
So i will have to go and find it, so i go for now and hope to chat later
Lots of love going your way.
xx*NATS*xx
Take care