h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Just wanted to say thanks so much for that post on my EYE thread.

You obviously know what it's like battling through with & for someone who has hit rock bottom & trying desperately to convince them that you WILL stick with them, no matter how much they may lash out emotionally at you in their pain.

It's like trying to take a splinter out of a lions paw at times.

It doesn't help that his ex gives witches a very bad name;she wants to destroy him emotionally. Only now is he beginning to realise real is more powerful.



zdt

feeling a real connection here.
Beloved's ex tracked us down and stung us for £4,000 mortgage back payments since he left her! we were struggling financially with a new baby.
My beloved is not best liked by some family and friends but they don't see how he takes care of me when I'm really low and makes me laugh.
I think I get a kick out of caring for him too!

Yes! The "need to feel needed" syndrome. I do tend to mother him a bit, but he loves it & anyway, sometimes he mothers me. I'm sure it will all come out in the wash as they say!

zdt

Saw Beloved's ex last week. She's had a baby and moved back to our town. Just a couple of roads from where we live
The cool thing is that she was wearing a red polka dotted furrey coat and looked really comical. I'm no oil painting, but I felt a whole lot better after seing her!

I would look delightful in a red polka dotted furry coat.

Do rip it from her back & send it to me.

This one 'ere has seemingly decided the ex is indeed the ex, we shall see what we shall see. Him in Mega Sulk mode right now, jeez, does this get boring after a while or what?

zdt

Beloved is predictable but not booring.
Reliably unreliable.
Predictably late.
Uses "no" to answer most questions.
Cleaver idiot.
lovely, romantic, wounded fool.

Absolutely.

I have no idea what he is doing right now, most likely he is simply sulking in his cave & wondering if he prefers me sending dozens of texts "ah, she is thinking of me" or not "yippee, she's stopped hassling me"

Short of dragging him by his (very very long) hair back to this cave & tying him up to something, him have to be left to own devices i suppose.

See EYE thread for gory details.

zdt

Just spotted this: be careful, i am sure YOU are but watch you don't get tarred with the same brush.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/wales/4842132.stm

zdt

Cannot acess anything but h2g2 at work. will look it up when I get home. What's it about?

It's about an independent midwife who seems to have been neglectful & has been sued.

Obviously, you aren't neglectful, far from it, but it may end up tarnishing the reputation in general; which would be very sad.

zdt

I've heard something about this but don't know the full details. I have some links to follow-up at home. I cannot immagine not attending someone in labour (that's the time we're most needed!).
I know some midwives have heavy caseloads but I only hope to help 10 women per year. I also know that some women are too keen to please us and may not state the urgency of the situation if her midwife is busy elsewhere. Also labours can accelerate suddenly and midwives can miss the birth.
Independent Midwives are in the firing line for being "subversive" and going against the system. In many of these cases the family have not complained about the care, but I.M's get hauled across the coals as an example. This thing (birth before midwife attends)happens all the time in the NHS and we don't hear of those midwives being reprimanded! Makes my blood boil.
We have very good back-up locally and if we're busy will always send another midwife to be with the family.
We are all human and therefore fallible

Plus those naughty babies just will *not* be told "Oy, this is your birthday! We've got the astrological chart all sorted, nice warm cot ready & what happenS?"

It's just as bad with cats, you pamper mummy for ages, prepare a beautiful cosy place for the birth, sit around fretting watching for the slightest twitch. Go to the loo, she disappears, next thing you know there are kittens at the back of the cupboard & mama going

Even eggs can be problematic. Ducks are immensely stupid or possibly infanticidal. They will sit damply & appearing very bored for about 3 days before the incubation date. Then they wander off, apparently in need of a decent gander. So idiot face here spends the next 3 days crouching over the heater,sprinkling water on the eggies, turning them, talking to them, finally they start hatching & of course the first thing they see is me.

Cue months of being followed by imprinted ducklings. Thank gaod the orphaned guinea pigs or lambs weren't at the same time. The abandoned kangaroo was the easiest by far.

zdt

Abandonned kangaroo? do tell........
I know what you mean about cats though. Our 2nd cat (kipper) was born in a garage used to store antiques opposite our house. His mother had run away from home and given birth in a cold garage on a hard floor surrounded by broken glass. The antique men didn't know what to do, so I took mum & 4 kittens in until their human mum could be found. Kipper was our reward

Oh!! I had a cat called Kipper too!!!

The babby kanga was (most unimaginatively) called Joey. I was in Middle East, had a friend who worked at the zoo, trying to train Salukis living in air conditioned quarters with personal trainers to run like greyhounds on Manchester racetrtacks on a cold Saturday night.

Not surprisingly, the buggers refused to budge, so my mate got sidetracked into other bits of the zoo, including the kanga section, kangas like the Middle East & breed happily & often. This baby got found under a bush & my friend adopted it, i used to act as foster mum when he went away.

Very sweet, you would come into the apartment & say "hi Joey" & he would hop out of his pouch (towelly thing on the back of the door)come & give you a kiss, hold your hand & lead you to his bottle, then go off to the loo (litter tray) then feeding time, he just sat there & sucked, not demanded like bloody lambs do. Then sucked his thumb & had cuddle. Little jump around & games. Then toilet, then "Bedtime Joey!" fine, into his pouch, turn upside down, thumb in mouth, kiss night night & peace.

Perfect baby. Example below:

http://www.hamburg-guide.de/typo3temp/9b27827073.jpg

zdt

How lovely. Lucky you. sound like the ideal baby. I can't get any links here at work but will look when I get home.

p.s.
kipper, as in kipper the dog.
our first cat is called scooby doo
neighbour's cat (they call him baggy), we call snoopy.

Managed to look at the kangaroo link at home. What a beautiful picture
In the last few days I've been alerted to another hunt of an Independent Midwife. Her crimes were to take on a client who lived 2 miles away (don't see that that's a crime), supporting a woman to have a VBAC (vaginal birth after caesarean) against her doctor's advice (it is a womans right to choose), and not taking the woman's notes to hospital when she transferred her in (I guess they were forgotten in the emergency situation). I can't remember full details except the midwife detected a problem and transferred to hospital. I think the outcome was good and am sure that the woman in question did not complain about care she received.
It highlights what a dangerous position we are in personally. But I would rather work this way than be a party to the substandard care of women that takes place in medical establishments!

Absolutely.

But as i know personally of a friend who was qualified doctor & did all the wretched paperwork & this was 25 years back & still got suspended from GMC for assisting with normal birth at home i worry on your behalf.

Back then there weren't such things as mobile phones, in fact in my friends case she had no phone at all; it's different now, so as long as the midwife recognises "oops, this needs a hospital" i really can't see why there's a problem.

Independent midwives mean most women do what most women have done for centuries with most women helping & most times it's fine. Sometimes it's not & this is 2006 & emergency services exist but are over stretched, so if they only got used for baby stuff when actually needed...er, guess what, not so over stretched.

Which brings us neatly onto episiotomies....

zdt

I agree wholeheartedly.
I am constantly worried.
I know that nature is not kind and that babies do die unexpectedly. This is part of our role as midwives, to support women in their choices after they have understood all the pros and cons. We may not agree with those choices but it is our duty to provide care.

Understaffing means that women do not get as much midwife care in labour, and things get missed
Hospitals have to deal with large throughput, and proceedures are performed that save time - such as EPISIOTOMY!! These do not always benefit mother or baby, and can cause great mental and physical harm

It is often women who've received poor care previously that hire Independent Midwives.